Need some advice on player politics

[Mark]

I think most people want to think for themself but sometimes lack the initiative to do so. This can sometimes be a problem with younger players, couples, or best friends who join a group together. I think you are on the right track talking to all of them without getting into specifics. If one player has been subconsciously controling another, or one has been subconsciously allowing themself to be controled, then this wake up call should straighten that out. If there's been a conscious effort to control or be controled, this will at least put everyone on notice that you are aware of the problem and do not intend to allow it to continue. With luck, it will subside after the discussion without the kind of drastic action I suggested above.

 

[Psion]

I'd *ask* him to deal with it.

I'm with that one.

So long as the players aren't being disruptive, it's really not his business what they play. That's an odd form of metagaming.

 

[LadyDM]

Mind letting us know how it works out?

Will do Evil.

I guess I wasn't clear in conveying my thoughts earlier re: possible side effects of playing D&D.

Yes, first and foremost is having fun. I whole-heartedly agree, if however; the players glean some modicum of additional positive side effects in the process, all the better. Why is it so difficult to think of a game as honing other skills, isn't that why chess was mandatory in most military academies in the past? I did not mean that I am on some sort of crusade to save the world one campaign at a time.

Like the song says: "Girls just wanna have fun!"

 

[Templetroll]

the only problem i see...

the player feels threatened that out of game politics will be played out in game.


example.. the party is arguing about where to go next. dwarf and human will agree 100% of the time. b/c wife and hubby will.this means out of 5.. 40% will have a much higher say than any of the other players.

What couple do you game with?!? The odds of my wife and I having our characters agree on anything is seriously minimal. and my wife agrees with the opinion that we would disagree!

 

[LadyDM]

Mind letting us know how it works out?

Hey, TheEvil,

I spoke with player 2 and she agrees: player 1 does defer decisions to her and she has seen him alter his style of play to protect her character. Neither of us is sure how to fix this, but she is going to try in game to put decisions back in his hand, if it's not a group situation; i.e. when he askes her what to do or what she if going to do, she will tell him it's up to him. If this doesn't help, she will talk to him about it out of game and see what happens.

Thanks for all the input!

 

[Mercule]

The couple has been in your game for 4 months together. Have they ever gamed together before (as in, both being players)? If not, they're still trying to figure out how they relate to each other in the game. It takes some getting used to.

My wife and I have been gaming with each other in some way for 13-14 years, and the first several were ackward. I DMed and I has mean to her (pre-dating slug on the arm stuff). Then I was really nice because we were dating. Then I went the other way to make sure the other players didn't accuse me of favoritism. Now, it's no big deal as player or DM for either of us. I can honestly say that my marriage doesn't impact the way we game in any special way.

Anyway, the point is that these two will need to figure out how they handle inter-personal interactions in-game. It'll change over time, too. So long as what they're doing isn't actively hurting the game, let 'em have their head. Poking at them with a stick will only prolong their "learning curve". If they are starting to get annoying, mention something to them. If they're good folk, they'll try making some adjustments on their own.

 

[TheEvil]

Hey, TheEvil,

I spoke with player 2 and she agrees: player 1 does defer decisions to her and she has seen him alter his style of play to protect her character. Neither of us is sure how to fix this, but she is going to try in game to put decisions back in his hand, if it's not a group situation; i.e. when he askes her what to do or what she if going to do, she will tell him it's up to him. If this doesn't help, she will talk to him about it out of game and see what happens.

Thanks for all the input!

Glad to hear it is going well! I know from experience that such situations can be very touchy.

Good Luck!