the Jester
Legend
Searching the immediate surrounding areas of the sunken temple of the jerren, our heroes are disappointed to find no cornbread. Of course not, Erasmuz laughs inwardly. The only reason the buffoon who sold us the map knew to cry ‘cornbread’ was because I told him to.
There are more strange carvings of the great devouring fish-thing, which Nara identifies as Zaamel, a god of the dark depths, god of devouring. “I can kind of relate to that!” Naomi burbles. She is grotesque, growing ever fatter and more disgusting.*
On the wall of the chamber the Scyllan emerged from, an ancient halfling-sized corpse is impaled by his own harpoon. The figure wears full plate, a belt and a cloak, all of which radiate magic when our heroes check.
The party retreats to their ship, the Promised Land, before finishing their explorations of the place. They will rest and regain their spells first. Fighting the Scyllan took a lot out of them.
***
Morning. The sky grows pink, then orange. Another water breathing spell washes over everyone, and the party dives into the water again. Ari is a shark.
And there are other sharks in the water, too.
As the party swims down, two 20’ long sharks that are a dappled blue-grey in color swim in and charge at Erasmuz and Beau. There is a flurry of blood in the water; Erasmuz breaks free by casting water walk on himself, but Beau is seized in a shark’s mouth! He screams in agony as the terrible predator’s sharp, dagger-like teeth sink deep into his thighs. He struggles, but the other shark swims in and bites down on his upper body- ripping deep into his chest.
Beau’s screams (from inside the second dire shark’s mouth) are horrifying. Ari starts summoning a water elemental while the others move in on the sharks, but before our heroes can reach them, they tear Beau in two! A massive cloud of blood swirls between the two sharks in the water.
“NOOOOO!” cries Nara.
The water elemental appears, and it rushes forward to engage the sharks, but they are content; they have had a good snack. They withdraw, trailing bits of Beau’s viscera behind them.
“Beau,” whispers Nara. “Oh, no...”
***
There is some treasure; coins, trade bars, a rod and a pearl. The heroes take it. There is the altar that eats a silver piece; there are the graven images.
Back to the ship. Erasmuz persuades Captain Tarth to allow his skeleton on board after she judges his level of control over it, and the ur-priest puts it in the hold. Then back to Lox Pentor. They reach the port city a little after dark, move into the city and get a room. After a flurry of identify spells, our heroes divide up some of their recent acquisitions. Erasmuz gets the harpoon +4, Naomi gets the belt of giant strength +4, Ari gets the brain lock pearl, Nara gets the full plate +3, Rush gets the rod of ruin (which penalizes all saving throws within 60’ of it by -4), and Brother Yip is given the cloak of assistance (which gives all allies within 10’ of the wearer a +2 resistance bonus on saves and a +1 deflection bonus to AC, and allows the wearer to give an ally a +4 bonus, instead of the normal +2 bonus, when using the aid another action).
Rush immediately heads into town and sells the rod of ruin for 9,000 gp. He buys some exotic salt water cod and shellfish from a vendor named Clyde, then heads back to Lambs to meet everyone else for dinner. Once again the dinner is fantastic. The party really wants to meet the chef, but the servers seem disinclined to let that happen.
“We’ve got to know who this guy is,” insists Naomi. This is the best place to eat that our heroes have ever been. She sneaks off, concealing herself as best she can, and creeps into the kitchen, concealed as best she can be by the powers of her mind.
When she gets a glimpse at the chef, she is so shocked that she almost vomits.
He’s a dwarf.
Stunned, Naomi staggers back to her friends. Her mind is reeling. Dwarves are not exactly known for their cuisine. (In fact, the stuff they eat is what gives them their racial resistance to poison.)
At least the kitchen was staffed by halflings.
But a dwarf!
***
9/14/372 O.L.G., 9 a.m.
When our heroes awaken in the morning, they do so in delight, for a peach cobbler is in each of their rooms, one for each of them. Several of them dig in, only to find that they are poisoned. Once they begin to realize this, they hurry to wake the others and spread the alarm.
“Who- who tried to poison us?” wonders Nara.
“That isn’t very nice,” Federico whines.
“The Peachtrees?” suggests Jawbreaker.
“Or maybe the restaurant across the street,” Naomi muses. “Maybe they want to make sure that we can’t share their secret with anyone!”
“Well, how did the pies get here?” asks Ari. “Maybe the owner of this place is complicit!”
“All I know,” says Rush, “is that we had better find out.”
Next Time: Who tried to poison our heroes? What can they do about it? Find out!
*Naomi is on her way to a homebrewed prestige class called the Sarcophagic Slug. She started off by taking the Willing Deformity (obesity) feat (requiring Willing Deformity first).
There are more strange carvings of the great devouring fish-thing, which Nara identifies as Zaamel, a god of the dark depths, god of devouring. “I can kind of relate to that!” Naomi burbles. She is grotesque, growing ever fatter and more disgusting.*
On the wall of the chamber the Scyllan emerged from, an ancient halfling-sized corpse is impaled by his own harpoon. The figure wears full plate, a belt and a cloak, all of which radiate magic when our heroes check.
The party retreats to their ship, the Promised Land, before finishing their explorations of the place. They will rest and regain their spells first. Fighting the Scyllan took a lot out of them.
***
Morning. The sky grows pink, then orange. Another water breathing spell washes over everyone, and the party dives into the water again. Ari is a shark.
And there are other sharks in the water, too.
As the party swims down, two 20’ long sharks that are a dappled blue-grey in color swim in and charge at Erasmuz and Beau. There is a flurry of blood in the water; Erasmuz breaks free by casting water walk on himself, but Beau is seized in a shark’s mouth! He screams in agony as the terrible predator’s sharp, dagger-like teeth sink deep into his thighs. He struggles, but the other shark swims in and bites down on his upper body- ripping deep into his chest.
Beau’s screams (from inside the second dire shark’s mouth) are horrifying. Ari starts summoning a water elemental while the others move in on the sharks, but before our heroes can reach them, they tear Beau in two! A massive cloud of blood swirls between the two sharks in the water.
“NOOOOO!” cries Nara.
The water elemental appears, and it rushes forward to engage the sharks, but they are content; they have had a good snack. They withdraw, trailing bits of Beau’s viscera behind them.
“Beau,” whispers Nara. “Oh, no...”
***
There is some treasure; coins, trade bars, a rod and a pearl. The heroes take it. There is the altar that eats a silver piece; there are the graven images.
Back to the ship. Erasmuz persuades Captain Tarth to allow his skeleton on board after she judges his level of control over it, and the ur-priest puts it in the hold. Then back to Lox Pentor. They reach the port city a little after dark, move into the city and get a room. After a flurry of identify spells, our heroes divide up some of their recent acquisitions. Erasmuz gets the harpoon +4, Naomi gets the belt of giant strength +4, Ari gets the brain lock pearl, Nara gets the full plate +3, Rush gets the rod of ruin (which penalizes all saving throws within 60’ of it by -4), and Brother Yip is given the cloak of assistance (which gives all allies within 10’ of the wearer a +2 resistance bonus on saves and a +1 deflection bonus to AC, and allows the wearer to give an ally a +4 bonus, instead of the normal +2 bonus, when using the aid another action).
Rush immediately heads into town and sells the rod of ruin for 9,000 gp. He buys some exotic salt water cod and shellfish from a vendor named Clyde, then heads back to Lambs to meet everyone else for dinner. Once again the dinner is fantastic. The party really wants to meet the chef, but the servers seem disinclined to let that happen.
“We’ve got to know who this guy is,” insists Naomi. This is the best place to eat that our heroes have ever been. She sneaks off, concealing herself as best she can, and creeps into the kitchen, concealed as best she can be by the powers of her mind.
When she gets a glimpse at the chef, she is so shocked that she almost vomits.
He’s a dwarf.
Stunned, Naomi staggers back to her friends. Her mind is reeling. Dwarves are not exactly known for their cuisine. (In fact, the stuff they eat is what gives them their racial resistance to poison.)
At least the kitchen was staffed by halflings.
But a dwarf!
***
9/14/372 O.L.G., 9 a.m.
When our heroes awaken in the morning, they do so in delight, for a peach cobbler is in each of their rooms, one for each of them. Several of them dig in, only to find that they are poisoned. Once they begin to realize this, they hurry to wake the others and spread the alarm.
“Who- who tried to poison us?” wonders Nara.
“That isn’t very nice,” Federico whines.
“The Peachtrees?” suggests Jawbreaker.
“Or maybe the restaurant across the street,” Naomi muses. “Maybe they want to make sure that we can’t share their secret with anyone!”
“Well, how did the pies get here?” asks Ari. “Maybe the owner of this place is complicit!”
“All I know,” says Rush, “is that we had better find out.”
Next Time: Who tried to poison our heroes? What can they do about it? Find out!
*Naomi is on her way to a homebrewed prestige class called the Sarcophagic Slug. She started off by taking the Willing Deformity (obesity) feat (requiring Willing Deformity first).