On Whether to Get the GF Involved or Not


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I'm A Banana

Potassium-Rich
Speaking as someone who has dated both types of girls, I'd say each way has its benefits and its drawbacks.

Getting a girl involved in your game is really rewarding, in that whole "I showed you something cool!" kind of way. She sees what makes you so excited, and it's even better because it makes her excited, too. You get to bond over it, and have fun with it together, and you have someone else to help pull the group together. Some of the best groups I've had were half put together by girls I was dating at the time, because they wanted to try it (and it got a lot of other people who hadn't played involved). Never underestimate the powers of persuasion of a cute girl! ;)

But it's okay if they're not. Couples usually need some time apart, too, and like a poker night or a bowling night or watching the football game, D&D can be something that the dudes do together. There's a lot to be said for "male bonding time" like that, and long term friendships are richer for that.

As a bit of an aside, I'd be interested to hear about any all-girl gaming groups that anyone might've seen or heard about or been in. I know plenty of all-guys groups, and I've seen a few that are 99% women, but I haven't even heard of any group that was all girls -- every one included at least one guy.

The ultimate point is that I don't see one as more preferable to the other. I don't need to have the girl I'm dating involved in all of my activities (just like I don't need to be involved with all of hers), but D&D can be a cool thing when it's shared between loved ones, and it can make the couple more part of a group of friends than as an entity unto themselves. For me, it varies with the girl. Not every girl I date has any interest in spending four hours pretending to be an elf, and that's not a prerequisite for dating me. There are much more important things in a relationship, for me.
 

Alikar

First Post
the benefit to us is that we get to have a guys night out. we get to talk about all the stuf we can't say in front of the gf/wives, like the new hot secretary who flirted with us, or telling each other lies about how active our sex lives were back in the day. and of course drink enormous amounts of beer with impunity, for whoever isn't driving.

You have bigger problems, than DnD.
 




The vast range of responses to this thread just amazes me...

As for me, I play in two groups, one of them consists of three couples and an extra guy. The other one is all-guys, but this was by chance and not by choice.
 

krissbeth

First Post
The guy I dated my senior year in college reintroduced me to D&D with 3.x.

That didn't work out.

But I met my SO in a different gaming group four years later -- So, yay!
 

Another problem I've encountered is when one of the couple is the DM. Any time something "good" happens to their SO's character (gets a special magic item, miraculously survives an encounter that should kill them, etc.), the other players can view it as favoritism.

This is actually the Little Green Monster (aka jealousy), or as another poster put it, a failure to communicate maturely. However, it is one of the reasons I now roll my dice in the open many years later.

On the topic at hand? I never thought of it as "guy's night out" because all through college we had men and women in the gaming group. Right now, one group I play with regularly has no female player, but that's not by design, only by accident. I find that the most important thing is that everyone playing loves to game. The rest of the dynamic at the table comes out of who is playing.
 


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