I think this is an interesting discussion.
I also think that, as the OP, it is interesting that I made the topic "on whether to get the gf involved or not." i didnt say significant other.
i didn't do that because i wanted to exclude women from the conversation. i am glad women have posted.
i did it subconsciously, without even thinking about it, because, and this may shok some of you, i have never ever met a woman who played D&D.
my brother just had triplets 9 months ago. 2 girls and a boy. he already has a three yr old boy. i was talking to my brother the other day and said to him how cool it is going to be in 6 or 7 yrs when we can play with his 2 sons.
i never even considered the girls. not because i dont want to play with them. it was just because i never considered the fact that girls would like to play dnd. its been my experience that women dont play.
i got into dnd in an all guy's high school. i brought it home and showed my brother the game, and our home gaming group became he and i and a random guy friend or two of his. at high school we played with the guys.
in college, my brother and i both moved away, and went to the same college, and we expanded our group by getting a couple members of our mostly all guy's karate club into it, one of whom had already played in high school.
our group now consists of me, my brother, one guy from the karate days and the karate guy's friend who he knew from high school. we're all in our late 30's.
other than a brief stint with a 21 yr old guy recently who wanted to try it out, we have never played with anyone outside of our own age group.
we also never played with women. it just worked out that way. other than the gf's trying it out, we never had a woman in the group.
as i sit here wondering why, looking back, we (my brother and i and the few people we have been playing with over the years) were never part of a gamer culture. there was never an overlap between the other stuff we did with our lives, and DND. we never went to conventions, there were no gaming stores in our area, etc. we never met anyone thru our jobs that played. our nights out were not the type wherein we could easily meet dnd players.
we lso never felt the need to associate with others who gamed. in the mid-90's i was on usenet newsgroups, but that was the extent of it. these days, over the past year, i have been posting on and reading enworld and some other sites. that's it though. none of the rest of the group does.
we also never felt the need to look for new members of the group. we always had enough players.
i guess my experiences with dnd shaped my viewpoint, the tone of which came out in my OP, wherein women who play and like dnd are more rare than a lawful good demon.
i think the "guy's night out" dynamic of our group also comes from the particular relationships between the group members and the rest of their lives. my brother, with 4 kids, 3 of which are 9 month old triplets, needs an escape. not that he dosn't love his wife and 4 kids, but its just a needs a break. the karate guy has a lot of hobbies and no kids, and all of his other hobbies he shares with his wife. to him i think this is his one night out to do his own thing. the third guy, his wife is in school at night so its no big deal one way or another. as for me, i am single these day, no kids, hence all the time to read and post here. i'm also too broke these days to do anything else.
interesting stuff.
Eventually they split and he moved away. I still play with her regularly and it has been cool to see how much more she enjoys the game.
