Player Telling Other Player How To Play Their Character

[Toast]

However, if he or she is not willing to engage, and is still bound and determined to treat their character as little more than a bag of hitpoints and feats, then I as the GM no longer feel obligated to treat their character as anything else either. If a situation happens to arise where that bag of hitpoints and feats are useful to the group, swell. If not, I'm not going out of my way to give the player/character anything more than a seat at the table. NPCs will not go out of their way to engage the player. I will not tailor combats or extended scene challenges to play to the character's strengths. If they end up feeling useless in a progressive series of fights, too dang bad. Engaging with the game and proposed campaign is an unwritten, social contract rule at my table.

This was exactly what the DM was planning on doing and Flower would not go for it. The DM gave him countless opportunities to expand on his character and thoughts. At level 4, he has not put in the least amount of effort or thought and the party isn't about that life. We have a party of 9 that we're playing with; we have no room for a non-active player. If we wanted a bland, flavorless, souless npc to slow down the party, the DM would certainly provide it. This entire thread, however is just a continuation of an argument that we've been having for years. It's also moot, as Flower is no longer with our group. After arguing with the DM for three hours after the session ended the DM had enough, kicked him out, and I can't blame him.

 

[Sunseeker]

1. What's your thought about a player telling other player how to play their character?

That you shouldn't do it unless asked or the player missed out on something obvious like "hey don't forget to add your proficiency" but the direction of these comments should come in the form of "helpful advice", not "hey man what a stupid move!" It's not unreasonable to give a player suggestions for actions if they are unsure what they want to do on their turn, but if the player says "shut up let me think" then you should do just that.

2. As a DM, how would you resolve this issue?

Typically by telling the guy attempting to dictate actions to shut up. Actual wording may vary depending on how the dictator words his "advice".

3. Is having a character with a boring background or playing him boring is a legitimate to tell him how to play his character?

Noone is required to be interesting. Personally, I like the "boring background" concept, especially when starting with level 1s. You're a farmer? A petty thief? A reclusive bookworm? Great! Now is your chance to move up into greatness, or at least, interestingness. The cool backstory of your character is IMO, often best when it's the backstory of everything that happened in the game looking back from level 10. Not looking back from level 1.

If Joe is the silent strong type who likes to adventure but doesn't really engage in conversation, go to bordellos or get screaming drunk, that's not a problem at all in my mind. Not every character needs to be special and I wouldn't ever tell a player to "make their character more interesting".

 

[The Grassy Gnoll]

Ever been at a dinner party where one of the couples has a very pointed and very personal conversation, and everyone just kind of sits there silently as a chair gets scraped back, coat fetched, door slams, one of them's still there?

That.

 

[Shasarak]

1. What's your thought about a player telling other player how to play their character?2. As a DM, how would you resolve this issue?3. Is having a character with a boring background or playing him boring is a legitimate to tell him how to play his character? If you wonder if this happen to me before, yes it did. Thank you for reading this thread and I'll gladly read your input on this subject.

In my opinion having a "boring" background would probably be the worst excuse for telling anyone how to play their character.

Now if you were just sitting there not participating in the game, then that would be a good reason to tell you to do something.

 

[Flower Hugger]

This was exactly what the DM was planning on doing and Flower would not go for it.

Because it was against my character. I try to reason with him by offering to change my background or deity, but he said it wasn't easy. It was either go with his plan or rip my character so I rip my character sheet and left the group.

 

[MostlyDm]

This thread has gone in a weird place that I'm not terribly interested in. So I'm going to speak abstractly about the idea of telling a player how to play their character (whether you're a DM or another player is irrelevant)

Don't do it. Seriously.

There are always better alternatives to telling a player how to play their character, or "enforcing" alignment, or any of that stuff.

Sometimes it's worth it to have an offline conversation... Due to disagreements or a significant tone mismatch (e.g. You're playing like it's A Song of Ice and Fire and someone else is playing in Discworld)

But the goal of these conversations should be "how do we find common ground (or change the game or our characters)" not "you're playing wrong so you should do X instead."

If someone is new it's fine to offer some advice... Up to a point. But giving unwanted answers to unasked questions can easily sour the game.

Much better to just establish a shared vision early on and then let everyone play how they will.

 

[Ampolitor]

First of all a Character in a rpg is like a character from a novel, they are supposed to EVOLVE during the story and develop and reveal their personality. In my opinion a character who is completely fleshed out at the beginning at first level is boring. Start with the basics, then let the player build them up as the stories evolve. Those become the most memorable characters, anyone can write a long background, but how many can develop them through play? As for telling someones else how to play their own character,,,,,umm no, they need to worry about themselves, any character can become more interesting, remember the first level is the blank sheet that you build on. as a DM I would tell the player, there is no correct way to play a character, he needs to worry about himself and his own character. If someone gives me a long storyline at first level, I'm like um whats the point, and how are you this experience in life at first level, there isn't much room to expand on. This is just my opinion, I have been dming now for 30 years, and it has worked for me and all my groups. Start off small and let them build, we have had Wizards who turned into kleptomaniacs, A Fighter who developed a phobia for the water, and lots of others, In other words, let the game sessions develop and fine tune the characters, start with a simple idea and let them do the rest, you would be surprised how quickly people fall into place and develop their personalities. Again as for interfering in play, if you play checkers what sort of look do you give the guy for moving your pieces on your turn? Yeah hands off pal.

 

[TerraDave]

I have never seen the DM "advising" a player on how to RP work out well.

Maybe on more meta-game type issues, game rules, table rules or that kind of thing, and yes, the occasional joke or teasing, but only one person gets to decide how to play pretend with the character.

 

[Arial Black]

Actually, it depends.

There is a difference between "You have to choose that feat or you're playing wrong!" and "You want to play a duellist? The Defensive Duellist feat is something to consider".

Similarly, in real life one person might tell another what to do, or suggest a course of action; our characters often find themselves in those situations, and it would be unrealistic to avoid such conversations at all costs.

Picture our party: we have snuck up within bowshot of the sentries and we have to take them out.

Me: "You take the guy on the left, I'll take the guy on the right."
Him: "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO PLAY MY CHARACTER!!!"

 

[Zardnaar]

Up to a point it is a no no. We gave some suggestions to some players once and they seemed to ignore them and no longer play with the group. They were doing things like fireballing allies and otherwise generally screwing around and making it harder for others. We do not require you to play in the most optimal fashion just not to consistently undermine the group in combat.

Those players got told and now they are no longer part of the group.