Players get mad at me (DM) when i enjoy other hobbies that are in my life. please help.

[Halivar]

dood, they play every weekend. Scheduling challenges don't seem to be an issue here. One day notice when you're playing every single week is plenty.

Scenario A: Tim is a player
Player A: Tim's not gonna be here... again.
DM: Ok, we can [NPC him/leave him at the inn].
Everyone: (much rejoicing)

Scenario B: Tim is the DM
Player A: Tim's not gonna be here... again.
Player B: Cool! Let's make characters for MY campaign!
Everyone: (much rejoicing)

I just don't see how this is a crisis.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Scenario A: Tim is a player
Player A: Tim's not gonna be here... again.
DM: Ok, we can [NPC him/leave him at the inn].
Everyone: (much rejoicing)

Scenario B: Tim is the DM
Player A: Tim's not gonna be here... again.
Player B: Cool! Let's make characters for MY campaign!
Everyone: (much rejoicing)

I just don't see how this is a crisis.

Well, for one thing, not every group has a wellspring of multiple would-be game-masters. I'm not currently in that situation- almost everyone in our group has run something- but I have definitely been in groups where only one or two people volunteer to step behind the screen.

And just because you have the skill and desire, it doesn't mean you have the time.

 

[Jan van Leyden]

The whole description sounds like a common situation turned on its head. In most cases it's the game master lamenting the fact that the players are less invested in the game than she is. You tell it like the players have more drive to game than you.

I propose you either try to set up a schedule you're willing to stick to, even if it means fewer game days. If you become reliable again, I'm sure the players can be satisfied. The other approach would be to entice a player to run the game or take over the GMing duties for some time. This would take some burden off you.

In the end you have to decide upon the priorities of your hobbies. RPGs have two points relevant to this case: you don't do it alone, and you can't do it as an isolated opportunity. Regard these parameters when setting your priorities and be sure to tell your players about the results.

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

As for time management: sounds like some thought has gone into that. Some people are very busy and over-worked by their jobs and school.

I disagree. If he had put any effort into managing his time better, he wouldn't need to cancel a D&D game in order to work on the tanks. His previous tank took him three months. He knows it's going to take him some time to do a similar tank. It'll take him longer to do a more complex tank. He shouldn't schedule D&D games when he knows he is going to be doing something else. He can dedicate as much time as he wants to building the tanks. He should commit himself to playing a game only to repeatedly cancel, regardless of how long before he lets his group know.

Y'know, because they need to be able to pay bills to afford to live and have goals to improve their lot so they Can one day have more free time.

Time management is a skill that can get them there. No need to put off learning how to manage your time until you have more money and time.

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

And just because you have the skill and desire, it doesn't mean you have the time.

Even if you have the time and desire, you need to have the skills. I've played in several groups where several groups. Some had only one person willing to DM, some had more than one. In those that had more than one, some of them had several that were good DMs, others had groups that the players would revolt if one of the players that sucked at DMing was going to DM. Having a bad DM is sometimes worse than not having any DM.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Yeah, I gave my own assertion short shrift.

Essentially, you need skill, desire, and time to GM- lack any one element, and GMing may not be a good fit for you.

 

[Elf Witch]

"Dungeons & Dragons: Casual Gamers not Wanted"

Why, that sounds like an awesome way to build the hobby.

EDIT:
After the third week, I would expect them to have done that already. Stuff happens. Games go on hiatus. Happens all the time in my group because we are working professionals and we have lives outside of our favorite game.

If the gaming group is unable to cope with this, then I suggest the problem is with everyone else.

I totally disagree with this. Did you read the whole thing he took three months off to build a tank then he started the game up again and now he is saying he wants to build another tank and his players are worried that he going to take another long break. I don't blame them one bit for being upset it is not like they held a gun to his head and said you will run a game for us. Yes real life interferes with hobbies and if it is real life like a responsibility interfering then yes you need to be understanding. But when it is another hobby it starts to be rude. If that hobby is more important than gaming that is okay but you need to be upfront and tell your group this so they can decide what to do.

 

[Umbran]

They have options.
Yes, they do.

No grounds for them to complain.

The last bit does not flow from the first bit.

Yes, they have options. But on the other hand, the guy made an agreement to run a game. He lapsed on that once, and is considering doing so again. Yes, you fail in your agreements, folks are going to be cheesed off at you!

Now, it may be that extra time management won't help. He has only so many free hours. If the number of free hours is smaller than the amount of time to do all the stuff he wants to do, then no amount of time management is going to make it all fit. That's when you have to prioritize. Maybe something else takes priority over gaming in your life. That's fine. But you should be honest and up-front about that to the players before you start a campaign. Set the expectations to match reality, or they *will* have a valid gripe when you fail to meet the commitment you led them to think you were making.

 

[Umbran]

Well, for one thing, not every group has a wellspring of multiple would-be game-masters. I'm not currently in that situation- almost everyone in our group has run something- but I have definitely been in groups where only one or two people volunteer to step behind the screen.

This is the situation I'm in at the moment. I am the only person in my current social circle willing to run a game with any regularity. So, I don't get to play - if any gaming happens, it is because I'm putting it together.

 

[Halivar]

Even if you have the time and desire, you need to have the skills...Having a bad DM is sometimes worse than not having any DM.

If you or your DM was a master storyteller from session 1, I would posit that you had unusually lucky circumstance. Many of us had to stumble through a lot of terrible games to become or build up awesome DM's.

DM'ing is a skill; it can be taught and learned. Suffer poor DM's well, and in time they may be poor no longer.

But when it is another hobby it starts to be rude. If that hobby is more important than gaming that is okay but you need to be upfront and tell your group this so they can decide what to do.

Sounds to me like the OP did exactly this. He was upfront; this tank he's building is more important than roleplaying. Life is too short to NOT invest in your true passion. Someone else in the group needs to step up and learn how to DM.