I don't care one whit what you do to alter bards. If you want to put on a cape and paint an S on your chest, flying around and saving kids, go for it.
I never said anything about altering bards. It's unnecessary to do so.
A little strawman, a little appeal to absurdity... Colorful but not really a counter point to what I said.
I'm tempted to do that in game now though.
I'm talking about the default bard. The default design of the bard really doesn't match up to anything in the real world beyond the name bard and having an instrument.
The "default bard" resembles mythological bards far better now. It sounds like you aren't familiar with those myths.
Real world bards don't run around casting 1st to 9th level spells for one thing. They don't have magical songs of sort D&D bards have. They don't have proficiency or a bonus at everything. They didn't inspire the way D&D bards do.
No real world any class runs around casting 1st to 9th level anything because that's a game mechanic and the argument would apply to other spell casters. Bards in myths do more magic than we often see from a typical wizard or sorcerer in myths.
Most magic like that comes from singing, chanting, and rhymes. Bards can cast spells the exact same way as other spell casters by using components or a pouch without using a musical instrument, or they can use a musical instrument as a focus. This aligns with shamanistic traits or something like my Alice Cooper in comics example relying on the instrument.
The bonus to "everything" is a manifestation of the jack-of-all-trades concept. The expectations on historical bards was general skills as needed. We can also see this in other cultural equivalents such as the kahuna.
Inspiration comes from tales of bards inspiring warriors with music during the Roman invasion. Bards were expected to be capable of eliciting many emotions through stories or songs.
Using music and songs to keep morale up and inspire soldiers has been a thing the entire time. In modern times it's seen to instill a sense of patriotism or support protests as examples.
They simply don't match up to D&D bards, so to say here that bards would or wouldn't have X is absurd. They have what they have because TSR/WotC designed them that way and it's appropriate for them to have those abilities even if you don't like them.
Bards have what they have because bards were originally based on bards, skalds, fili, and jongleurs.
They had magic, inspiration, knowledge, skills, and combat ability. They still have all those options within the game mechanics. 5e is one of the best representations of those traits.
Whether I like or dislike the class is irrelevant here. What's going on is you seem to have a preconception to which you cannot relate the mechanics when the mechanics are based on mythology and history.
What I am saying has nothing to do with how you choose to roleplay a bard. I'm only talking the mechanics of the D&D bard matched up to real world bards. Or rather the lack of a match up.
That's a you thing. The mechanics do align with historical and mythological bards such as Amergin, Merlin, or Taliesin. It's not an issue with the mechanics if you're not familiar with how those mechanics relate to that folklore.