[rumor, not fact!] Hasbro selling off WotC

[Kae'Yoss]

I wanted to wait until after GenCon with this but what the hell?

I'm buying Wizards of the Coast. I plan to make elves so strong Tolkien would shake his head, totally nerf dwarves and kobolds, give a 30-page treatment in the core rules for gnomes, make all the art for the game manga (yes, all the demons will have hentacles, and the commoner NPC-class will be replaced by the schoolgirl NPC-class), make ninja a core class (with 3 good saves, 8+ skill points, strong BAB, d20 for HD, the works), kill off Greyhawk for good, replace the PHB with the PHB (Powergamer's Handbook), will refer to everyone as "he" and never as "she", incorporate actual satanic rituals into the spells, make drow a LA +0 race (but give them more power than before) that gets the full playable race treatment in the PHB, hardwire the Forgotten Realms into the rules, and introduce the "Realms Shaking Event of the Month" feature on the website, making it clear that they're all canon and that you have to use them.

I hope that with this, I will upset enough people to be elevated to godhood as a deity of pure evil! Top me on this one Crowley!

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Don't read Zarathustran.

Ha! Too late.

Don't read!

Including this.

And that.

And the piece I just wrote.

Look, just don't.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Will WotC be sold on ebay?

WotC will be sold to eBay!

Magic items in the game won't be sold, but auctioned. Point Buy-it-now will be introduced for character creation, and the role of wizard, fighter, and so on will go to the highest bidder.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

My understanding, from insiders who wish to remain anonymous*, is that the chief bidders are Umbrella Corporation

I was wondering how Whesker was going to get it back up. Will Ada work for Wizards? I could see her as head of PR or something. Or she'll assassinate everyone who annoys Wizards. The next guy stealing not yet released D&D minis from them to sell them on eBay will have bigger problems than being fired. He'll be fired at!

 

[the black knight]

I can, at this time, neither confirm nor deny that I am Spartacus.

We have a winner.

 

[Scribble]

I wanted to wait until after GenCon with this but what the hell?

I'm buying Wizards of the Coast. I plan to make elves so strong Tolkien would shake his head, totally nerf dwarves and kobolds, give a 30-page treatment in the core rules for gnomes, make all the art for the game manga (yes, all the demons will have hentacles, and the commoner NPC-class will be replaced by the schoolgirl NPC-class), make ninja a core class (with 3 good saves, 8+ skill points, strong BAB, d20 for HD, the works), kill off Greyhawk for good, replace the PHB with the PHB (Powergamer's Handbook), will refer to everyone as "he" and never as "she", incorporate actual satanic rituals into the spells, make drow a LA +0 race (but give them more power than before) that gets the full playable race treatment in the PHB, hardwire the Forgotten Realms into the rules, and introduce the "Realms Shaking Event of the Month" feature on the website, making it clear that they're all canon and that you have to use them.

I hope that with this, I will upset enough people to be elevated to godhood as a deity of pure evil! Top me on this one Crowley!

YES!

That plan is awesome wrapped up in more awesome! On a stick even!

If you need someone to start breaking kneecaps (for failure to comply with said Forgotten Realms Shakeup announcements) I am your man.


Also, I was under the impression HASBRO liked WOTC... They even mentioned em by name in their last company report... (In the section that mentions why people should know Hasbro makes a good investment...)

 

[Rykion]

I hear the most likely buyer is McDonalds. They have major plans. D&D Miniatures will only be available as the toys in Happy Meals. 4th Edition will be released on the wrappers and boxes that sandwiches come in. You'll have to buy Big Macs buy the case to have a chance to collect the full rules. The Clown class will replace Bard, and Ronald will be the iconic example. All the other characters will get stats in the first setting, McDonaldland Beyond the Playplace.

 

[Charwoman Gene]

ZOMG The Wizards site says "Service unavailable" for me now!
4E 2night!!!1!!!

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I hear the most likely buyer is McDonalds. They have major plans. D&D Miniatures will only be available as the toys in Happy Meals. 4th Edition will be released on the wrappers and boxes that sandwiches come in. You'll have to buy Big Macs buy the case to have a chance to collect the full rules. The Clown class will replace Bard, and Ronald will be the iconic example. All the other characters will get stats in the first setting, McDonaldland Beyond the Playplace.

You may be on to something. They McDs already has a relationship with Hasbro through the Monopoly game.

Lidda will be replaced by the Hamburgler.

 

[Grazzt]

I hear the most likely buyer is McDonalds. They have major plans. D&D Miniatures will only be available as the toys in Happy Meals. 4th Edition will be released on the wrappers and boxes that sandwiches come in. You'll have to buy Big Macs buy the case to have a chance to collect the full rules. The Clown class will replace Bard, and Ronald will be the iconic example. All the other characters will get stats in the first setting, McDonaldland Beyond the Playplace.

I want stats for the Hamburglar. Im seeing him as maybe a 5th-level Rogue.