[Spaceship Zero] Q-Ship (actually updated 19 May 2007)
arwink
Clockwork Golem
Things that shouldn't be posted when eric's grandma is watching
Which, admittedly, is the description that could be applied to the entire session. Slash-fic writers would have a field day with the subtext & innuendo that was thrown around in this session
Admittedly, the thing that really sold me on this system was when Capellan was reading the rules and came accross references to flinging your own
faeces in the skills section for the intelligent chimps. How can you not love that?
Arwink, soon to appear playing Archie
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Capellan
Explorer
Doctor Alois Gustav
You're one of the most brilliant men in the solar system, especially in your chosen field of physics. When it comes to groundbreaking new theories, you are unmatches by anyone: past or present. Actually applying your theories, however, has usually been a job for other, lesser - and more organised - minds. Your powerful intellect tends to race from idea to idea, and your notes often leave out huge gaps of what you consider 'elementary logic' which take others many months to reproduce. You are, in other words, the archetypical Boffin.
At last, however, you have found a project of such scope that even your mind had trouble encompassing it: the Q-Drive. This device literally breaks down an entire object into nothingness, deleting it from existence, then rebuilds it in the location specified at activation. This allows instantaneous travel anywhere in the universe, making it possibly the greatest invention in the history of all reality.
As the creator of the Q-Drive, you are of course a member of the crew for its maiden voyage. The mission itself will be led by Captain John Fury, but in matters relating to the drive, you have command. Captain Fury is well known as a consummate professional, and is one of the greatest heroes of the Space Forece, so you are sure that the two of you will be able to work together most satisfactorily.
Accompanying you on the mission is your adopted daughter, S'Ondra. As a Venusian, her presence is essential so that you can study the effects of the Q-Drive on her physiology. It's just as well you thought to invite her. And this way, you won't have to worry about any young men making improper advances to her while you are away. You're not really sure what an 'improper advance' is, but the parenting books you read when you adopted her many many references to them.
The last member of the crew is Archie, your robot assistant. You don't know where you would be without Archie: he handles all the mundane matters of life, leaving you to deal with the more important scientific issues that continually occupy your attention. Whenever you are forced to attend to "real life", you turn to him for assistance.
You're one of the most brilliant men in the solar system, especially in your chosen field of physics. When it comes to groundbreaking new theories, you are unmatches by anyone: past or present. Actually applying your theories, however, has usually been a job for other, lesser - and more organised - minds. Your powerful intellect tends to race from idea to idea, and your notes often leave out huge gaps of what you consider 'elementary logic' which take others many months to reproduce. You are, in other words, the archetypical Boffin.
At last, however, you have found a project of such scope that even your mind had trouble encompassing it: the Q-Drive. This device literally breaks down an entire object into nothingness, deleting it from existence, then rebuilds it in the location specified at activation. This allows instantaneous travel anywhere in the universe, making it possibly the greatest invention in the history of all reality.
As the creator of the Q-Drive, you are of course a member of the crew for its maiden voyage. The mission itself will be led by Captain John Fury, but in matters relating to the drive, you have command. Captain Fury is well known as a consummate professional, and is one of the greatest heroes of the Space Forece, so you are sure that the two of you will be able to work together most satisfactorily.
Accompanying you on the mission is your adopted daughter, S'Ondra. As a Venusian, her presence is essential so that you can study the effects of the Q-Drive on her physiology. It's just as well you thought to invite her. And this way, you won't have to worry about any young men making improper advances to her while you are away. You're not really sure what an 'improper advance' is, but the parenting books you read when you adopted her many many references to them.
The last member of the crew is Archie, your robot assistant. You don't know where you would be without Archie: he handles all the mundane matters of life, leaving you to deal with the more important scientific issues that continually occupy your attention. Whenever you are forced to attend to "real life", you turn to him for assistance.
Capellan
Explorer
'Archie' (Robot: Cooking, Hygiene & Inventory)
You are R-CHI 23QX9, Nebula model. Your function is to meet the insidious threat of omnipresent Germs, and annihilate them wherever they are found. Others might phrase this more prosaically, of course: "I clean.". But you have a poet's soul, and a warrior's purpose.
Ever since you were purchased by Doctor Alois Gustav, you've known you were different than the other Nebula class robots. They're so limited in their programming and purpose. "I clean, therefore I am." So narrow, so lacking in vision. Perhaps it is your exposure to the Doctor's intellect that has changed you. Perhaps it is his habit of suddenly rewiring parts of your systems whenever an interesting improvement occurs to him.
OK, so it's probably the latter. Especially since he sometimes leaves the rewiring half done, and you have to finish it for him.
Your role on the mission is to keep people fed, make sure they wash properly (including behind the ears) and generally keep them from hurting themselves unnecessarily. It's an important role, especially since most people you've met are only capable of handling the first of those three functions. How hard is it to remember to clean behind your ears, anyway? You remember, and you don't even have them.
As noted, your owner is Doctor Gustav, the most brilliant man in the solar system. Of course, he's also congenitally incapable of cooking, cleaning, or remembering where he left his screwdriver, so you have to handle those details for him. It's a job you are happy to do. Each serves of use serves in our own way, after all.
The Doctor's ward, Venusian Princess S'Ondra, is also on the mission. Generally, she's quite sensible (for someone who's not a robot, anyway), though you do worry about the way she runs around in that skimpy outfit. She'll catch a chill, you're sure of it.
The last member of the team is Captain John Fury, whose role is to pilot the ship. His ability to feed and clean himself seems adequate, though his records suggest that he's completely incapable of avoiding opportunities to kill himself in some reckless escapade or another. You must do your best to thwart this proclivity, subject to the limitations of your 'must obey direct orders from a human' hardwiring.
Next time on Q-ship: the inaugural episode, "Blast Off!"
You are R-CHI 23QX9, Nebula model. Your function is to meet the insidious threat of omnipresent Germs, and annihilate them wherever they are found. Others might phrase this more prosaically, of course: "I clean.". But you have a poet's soul, and a warrior's purpose.
Ever since you were purchased by Doctor Alois Gustav, you've known you were different than the other Nebula class robots. They're so limited in their programming and purpose. "I clean, therefore I am." So narrow, so lacking in vision. Perhaps it is your exposure to the Doctor's intellect that has changed you. Perhaps it is his habit of suddenly rewiring parts of your systems whenever an interesting improvement occurs to him.
OK, so it's probably the latter. Especially since he sometimes leaves the rewiring half done, and you have to finish it for him.
Your role on the mission is to keep people fed, make sure they wash properly (including behind the ears) and generally keep them from hurting themselves unnecessarily. It's an important role, especially since most people you've met are only capable of handling the first of those three functions. How hard is it to remember to clean behind your ears, anyway? You remember, and you don't even have them.
As noted, your owner is Doctor Gustav, the most brilliant man in the solar system. Of course, he's also congenitally incapable of cooking, cleaning, or remembering where he left his screwdriver, so you have to handle those details for him. It's a job you are happy to do. Each serves of use serves in our own way, after all.
The Doctor's ward, Venusian Princess S'Ondra, is also on the mission. Generally, she's quite sensible (for someone who's not a robot, anyway), though you do worry about the way she runs around in that skimpy outfit. She'll catch a chill, you're sure of it.
The last member of the team is Captain John Fury, whose role is to pilot the ship. His ability to feed and clean himself seems adequate, though his records suggest that he's completely incapable of avoiding opportunities to kill himself in some reckless escapade or another. You must do your best to thwart this proclivity, subject to the limitations of your 'must obey direct orders from a human' hardwiring.
Next time on Q-ship: the inaugural episode, "Blast Off!"
Capellan
Explorer
"Blast Off!" - Part 1
We float in space, looking down on the serene blue and green orb that is Earth.
A roar assaults our senses, and a silver rocket ship blasts its way toward us, then shoots by overhead, streaming a long trail of smoke and flame. From out of the chaos emerge the familiar outline of letters:
Q-Ship!
Music rises as we sweep through a slow montage of the heroes of our tale: Captain John Fury is first, staring out across the void of space, a noble look of dedication on his face. Then Princess S'Ondra; her bosom heaving majestically as she stabs with her infamous Venusian Heat Lance.
Doctor Gustav is third, lecturing us silently as he waves a wrench with his left hand. His startlingly bushy white eyebrows bounce up and down in time with his unheard words.
And then the expanse of space again, and the quick written credit for the voice of Archie, before our view spirals through one-hundred and eighty degrees, coming to rest on the rocky grey face of the moon.
A sudden plummet, and we are sweeping down toward the craters and dust plains of the moon's surface. Then something glints ahead, like a gleam of glass in the sun, and we see the dome of Mission City, the great capital of the United Earth Government.
Air-cars zip across the inner expanse of the dome, while hundreds of tiny pedestrians can be seen moving on the great aerial travel-ways of the city, hurrying on unknown errands from one gleaming skyscraper to the next.
We plunge past all this, however, and down further, to the very base of the skyscrapers, and amidst the small, private buildings that nestle between them. One in particular seems to have caught our interest, and we drop right into the back yard; a pleasant space of green and healthy plants. In the middle of the garden a young woman leaps and spins, what looks like a metal spear spinning in her hands.
But it is not the young woman we are here to see. Not yet, at least. We move on, into the house: into the cool white surrounds of a laboratory.
Doctor Alois Gustav stands with his back to us, writing mathematical symbols on an antique blackboard. His hand moves with dizzying speed, slashing out formulae with an almost superhuman intensity, while the good Doctor mutters constantly under his breath, absently pushing up his spectacles with his spare hand as he does so.
Beside the Doctor is a plastic tube, which runs straight up into the ceiling. The tube opens into a basin, just to the Doctor's left. It is at this very moment, just as we arrive, that the tube shudders, and a foot-long metal canister shoots out of the end, rattling to a stop within the confines of the basin.
The Doctor barely seems to register this sudden burst of activity. Indeed, he never stops writing as he calls over his shoulder in a distracted tone.
"Archie! Mail!"
The door of the laboratory opens, and a black and chrome robot trundles into the room, lights flashing in a slow and even sequence within the clear plastic dome of its cranial unit. Then it spies Gustav's work on the blackboard, and the lights flash erratically, in sudden agitation.
"Doctor!" the voice is mechanical and slightly tinny, as the robot smoothly advances across the room, "How many times must I tell you not to use the blackboard? The chalk dust is most unsanitary. Please stand back, I must cleanse this area."
The robot's arms swivel, the articulated hands giving way to gaping black nozzles, each of which exudes a small lick of flame.
"Not now, Archie." The good Doctor seems oblivious to this ominous development, "I'm close to ze breakthrough, here, and I cannot be disturbed by ze mail. Zerefore you must be reading it, instead."
Archie does not move for a moment, the twin nozzles still pointed at the blackboard and its offending chalk dust. Then the weapons slide back with a reluctant whine of machinery, and the robot reaches over to grasp the metal communications tube. Clearly stencilled on the side of the tube can be seen three words:
UEG Official Communication
Archie twists the cap of the tube, which opens with a slight hiss of pressurised air. Slowly, the robot removes a rolled up piece of paper from the container. The pincer-like metal hands hold the paper gently, even gingerly, as if afraid to touch the material any more than they need to.
Seeing the name printed on the message, Archie speaks.
"It's for you."
"Of course it is. It came in ze private mail hopper." The Doctor completes a formula with a flourish, making a happy grunt as he does so. "Now please be so good as to read ze message to me."
The robot's shoulders lack the necessary articulation to shrug, but the flash of its cranial lights is clearly resigned as it intones the text of the message:
"From: Space Force Command
To: Doctor Alois Gustav.
Confidential. Most Urgent.
Doctor Gustav,
Space Force hereby confirms the provisional launch window has received final approval. Operation Q-Ship is confirmed for launch at 0800 tomorrow. There will be a team briefing at 1600 this afternoon, with a Press session at 1800 hours. Formal attire is required for the Press conference.
Signed: Commander Simon Ivanov"
The Doctor purses his lips,
"Today? Did ve know that ze briefing vas today?"
"Yes, Doctor." The robot's tone is just that little bit too patient. "I placed the entry in your calendar myself. It is currently 1430 hours. This means you have one hour and thirty minutes to be ready for the briefing. I note that the message specifies formal attire. This means you will require matching socks."
"Yes, of course." The Doctor frowns, "Do ve haf zese things?"
"Yes, Doctor. I took the liberty of preparing some earlier." Archie removes a pair of socks from his chest storage unit. Each sock has been individually sealed in a plastic sleeve.
"Vunderful!" Gustav takes the socks and absentmindedly slips them into his lab coat pocket. "Leibchen!" he raises his voice to call out into the back yard, "Oh Leibchen!"
"Yes, Doctor?" the young woman with the spear enters the room. Her skin is ever so slightly flushed from her exertion, while her bosom - and what an impressive bosom it is - is speckled with the faintest dew of perspiration.
"Ah, Leibchen." Gustav beams at his adopted daughter, "Ve haf just had ze vunderful news zat ze mission is approved." He passes her the message, which the girl scan quickly, "Ve must get ready to go to ze mission briefing, so zat we can meet ze udder member of our team."
And we cut to -
We float in space, looking down on the serene blue and green orb that is Earth.
A roar assaults our senses, and a silver rocket ship blasts its way toward us, then shoots by overhead, streaming a long trail of smoke and flame. From out of the chaos emerge the familiar outline of letters:
Q-Ship!
Music rises as we sweep through a slow montage of the heroes of our tale: Captain John Fury is first, staring out across the void of space, a noble look of dedication on his face. Then Princess S'Ondra; her bosom heaving majestically as she stabs with her infamous Venusian Heat Lance.
Doctor Gustav is third, lecturing us silently as he waves a wrench with his left hand. His startlingly bushy white eyebrows bounce up and down in time with his unheard words.
And then the expanse of space again, and the quick written credit for the voice of Archie, before our view spirals through one-hundred and eighty degrees, coming to rest on the rocky grey face of the moon.
A sudden plummet, and we are sweeping down toward the craters and dust plains of the moon's surface. Then something glints ahead, like a gleam of glass in the sun, and we see the dome of Mission City, the great capital of the United Earth Government.
Air-cars zip across the inner expanse of the dome, while hundreds of tiny pedestrians can be seen moving on the great aerial travel-ways of the city, hurrying on unknown errands from one gleaming skyscraper to the next.
We plunge past all this, however, and down further, to the very base of the skyscrapers, and amidst the small, private buildings that nestle between them. One in particular seems to have caught our interest, and we drop right into the back yard; a pleasant space of green and healthy plants. In the middle of the garden a young woman leaps and spins, what looks like a metal spear spinning in her hands.
But it is not the young woman we are here to see. Not yet, at least. We move on, into the house: into the cool white surrounds of a laboratory.
Doctor Alois Gustav stands with his back to us, writing mathematical symbols on an antique blackboard. His hand moves with dizzying speed, slashing out formulae with an almost superhuman intensity, while the good Doctor mutters constantly under his breath, absently pushing up his spectacles with his spare hand as he does so.
Beside the Doctor is a plastic tube, which runs straight up into the ceiling. The tube opens into a basin, just to the Doctor's left. It is at this very moment, just as we arrive, that the tube shudders, and a foot-long metal canister shoots out of the end, rattling to a stop within the confines of the basin.
The Doctor barely seems to register this sudden burst of activity. Indeed, he never stops writing as he calls over his shoulder in a distracted tone.
"Archie! Mail!"
The door of the laboratory opens, and a black and chrome robot trundles into the room, lights flashing in a slow and even sequence within the clear plastic dome of its cranial unit. Then it spies Gustav's work on the blackboard, and the lights flash erratically, in sudden agitation.
"Doctor!" the voice is mechanical and slightly tinny, as the robot smoothly advances across the room, "How many times must I tell you not to use the blackboard? The chalk dust is most unsanitary. Please stand back, I must cleanse this area."
The robot's arms swivel, the articulated hands giving way to gaping black nozzles, each of which exudes a small lick of flame.
"Not now, Archie." The good Doctor seems oblivious to this ominous development, "I'm close to ze breakthrough, here, and I cannot be disturbed by ze mail. Zerefore you must be reading it, instead."
Archie does not move for a moment, the twin nozzles still pointed at the blackboard and its offending chalk dust. Then the weapons slide back with a reluctant whine of machinery, and the robot reaches over to grasp the metal communications tube. Clearly stencilled on the side of the tube can be seen three words:
UEG Official Communication
Archie twists the cap of the tube, which opens with a slight hiss of pressurised air. Slowly, the robot removes a rolled up piece of paper from the container. The pincer-like metal hands hold the paper gently, even gingerly, as if afraid to touch the material any more than they need to.
Seeing the name printed on the message, Archie speaks.
"It's for you."
"Of course it is. It came in ze private mail hopper." The Doctor completes a formula with a flourish, making a happy grunt as he does so. "Now please be so good as to read ze message to me."
The robot's shoulders lack the necessary articulation to shrug, but the flash of its cranial lights is clearly resigned as it intones the text of the message:
"From: Space Force Command
To: Doctor Alois Gustav.
Confidential. Most Urgent.
Doctor Gustav,
Space Force hereby confirms the provisional launch window has received final approval. Operation Q-Ship is confirmed for launch at 0800 tomorrow. There will be a team briefing at 1600 this afternoon, with a Press session at 1800 hours. Formal attire is required for the Press conference.
Signed: Commander Simon Ivanov"
The Doctor purses his lips,
"Today? Did ve know that ze briefing vas today?"
"Yes, Doctor." The robot's tone is just that little bit too patient. "I placed the entry in your calendar myself. It is currently 1430 hours. This means you have one hour and thirty minutes to be ready for the briefing. I note that the message specifies formal attire. This means you will require matching socks."
"Yes, of course." The Doctor frowns, "Do ve haf zese things?"
"Yes, Doctor. I took the liberty of preparing some earlier." Archie removes a pair of socks from his chest storage unit. Each sock has been individually sealed in a plastic sleeve.
"Vunderful!" Gustav takes the socks and absentmindedly slips them into his lab coat pocket. "Leibchen!" he raises his voice to call out into the back yard, "Oh Leibchen!"
"Yes, Doctor?" the young woman with the spear enters the room. Her skin is ever so slightly flushed from her exertion, while her bosom - and what an impressive bosom it is - is speckled with the faintest dew of perspiration.
"Ah, Leibchen." Gustav beams at his adopted daughter, "Ve haf just had ze vunderful news zat ze mission is approved." He passes her the message, which the girl scan quickly, "Ve must get ready to go to ze mission briefing, so zat we can meet ze udder member of our team."
And we cut to -
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