Stay or Go

[Drasche]

A tattered, lined page stabbed through the top, written with pained letters:

Beautiful,

The timelessness lingers without you
Endless days and sleepless nights
My focus crushed by countless distractions
My Father watching on with grief
A fetid life surrounded by decay
I had to leave my only Eden
-to walk away from the one person that
-makes me feel
All these tears I cannot cry are stored
-in a bottle marked "Human"
Ever waiting for the morning to come
-and the mourning to end.

~Drasche Borgannah

 

[Drasche]

Plaintiff of a Fallen Angel

Another tattered page stabbed through the top over the previous one, written with pained letters:

The words are caught in my throat
I don't have anything to say
I'm just a muted voice, alone in your world
You don't know what it's like to feel as I do
-just as I don't know what you feel every day

There isn't any way to go back and change what's done
All that is left of this is the wilderness we wonder in
This desert chokes me
Nothing is the same anymore
-although nothing has changed

Raped of all joy
Scarred mind and body
Broken heart
What else is left for me
-except the struggle day after day?

Do you even know I'm here?
I thought you knew who I am
Only this incident has transpired
I'm still me
-at least I think I am

Now I'm just another fallen angel
Now I'm your broken doll
Forgotten in your lies
You don't want to remember what happened
-leaving me the pain to endure alone.

 

[Drasche]

Knight Falls

A fresh page stabbed over the last, written with pained letters:

The bridge is crumbling away
My feet leave me
-following my sense and reason
Why am I still here?
Why haven't I turned and walked away from this mess?
It's not even mine to deal with
You created your own world, but I shouldn't have to be trapped in it

We both know that neither of us can sever the cord
For years we have failed to break the spell cast on us
You and I keep ending up in this same circle
Bound by an unbreakable chain
Caught up by an unexplainable force
Was it Fate? Was it Kismet? Was it Love?
-Or is it just another fool's dream?

You're always in my mind now
I can't leave it alone
I was your knight, I tried to protect you
-but it all fell away
Now you don't want my shield
-or my protective wings to guard you from harm

All I have is a broken crest
-an emblem that has long since lost its meaning
No one in the Kingdom can help me
-none of them have a listening ear
I choke on the thoughts that cloud my mind
My stomach turns as my vision blurs
It's harder to see through the haze
I'm dying

The last thing I hear are your words
The last thing I feel is my heart breaking.

 

[Drasche]

Burning Flesh

A new sheet of parchment stabbed over the previous ones, with penmanship indicating hard-drawn characters.

Why? Why have you become my bitterness?
Was any of this necessary?
Now I live in constant duress,
-but you seem quite contrary
The only luxury afforded me now is rage
-bottled up in a vial of clay
Tomorrow I shall again take the stage
-as the lead in your empty passion play

Like a firebomb going off in my mind
As a tower imploding
So is my soul in your world
As is everything that I am whenever you are near

You are another land away
-but you torment me where I sit, staring out the window
I wish that I could cut you out of my mind
I long for the day that you cut the strings off of me

Stop playing with my heart like I'm a marionette.

~Dras

 

[Drasche]

Break the Cycle

Can you feel it?
We're approaching the beginning of this vicious cycle
Friend, Love, Lost, Bitterness, Jealousy, Forgiveness
Now what?
I can't live this way anymore
Draw me close, or cut me loose
Break the cycle

Here it comes again
We run in this same rut that we created so many years ago
I'm getting old
-and so is this
I can predict every moment, every action
Let me just love you now, and skip the pain of later
Break the cycle

Nothing will surprise me now
Not even the introduction of another suitor
But you should know that it seems an insult to me
Another sling and arrow of this same misfortune
What am I to you?
I refuse to be just one
I want to be the only one, and for that I would
-break the cycle

Perhaps I should just go
I should move on
This is all too familiar, I don't want to leave it
It's not just the emotions evoked or the physicality between us
It's because it is you
There has always been something about you
That magic drew me in
-but now I think I should disenchant our love and
-break the cycle.

 

[Drasche]

Dreams of Departure

A ragged, tear-stained piece of parchment hangs on the Tree, reading as thus:

I dreamed I was able to walk away last night
'Twas a dream, and nothing more
I awoke in tears, I awoke in pain
-because I know that I am not strong enough to do such a thing

In my study I drink of this cup
Its poison reaches my lips and burns
It brings the memories of when you treated me kind
A memory, and nothing more

Where will I be when your world crumbles again?
Not in your chambers
Not in your bed
I'll be amongst the stars
-or amongst the dead
Cry yourself to sleep again,
-and weep for the misery you've wrought
Let this same curse of loneliness befall you
Let your works be all for naught
May you have to endure the suffering of such cruelty
The same torture I am subjected to
Perhaps this will even the score
-making me no less than you

Feel the backlash!
Feel the blistering agony of disgrace!

I dreamed last night that I walked away
I awoke this morning still cursed to stay.

~Drasche Borgannah

 

[Drasche]

For E___, to know of my pain

Confliction of interests
You're the only one that I let cause such pain
Only a madman would have stayed this long
Perhaps that is the answer to my own masochism

I'm holding a key to these chains,
-but I can't bring myself to undo the bonds
I have loved you too much too long
I'm unable to cross over this massive chasm

Still tending the fire that warms others?
Nothing has changed, but not everyone stays comfortable
I have endured this for so long
What's another few more years of jealous spasm?

Can you feel me?
Do I still infect your heart?
Are your thoughts still warm from my memory?
What is it like without me?

The tempest swirls and pelts me in its natural way
Chaos dictates how I suffer
Yet still I stand in the rain, screaming your name
The only response is the echo of my cries

The ramblings of a fool, a coward, and a broken man
All that's left of me is what I gave you years ago
This isn't the life I had devised
-but the one I've come to despise.

~Drasche Borgannah

 

[Drasche]

The Conclusion of the Matter

One final note is placed upon this thorn, written in calm, eloquent characters.

I finally made up my mind
I am leaving you behind
This soul is nothing more than dross
-now that I am giving up this cause

I would apologise, but I don't see why I should
I know if you were in my shoes you would
I'm saving myself, can't you see?
I cannot stand this cruelty

If I thought I could, I would go farther
I'm afraid that it would still end up this way
I cannot live my only life as a martyr
-for the sake of a possible happier day

Regarding the singular event revealed to me on your bed
Thoughts have been plaguing me all this while
I stand by most of what I said
In the end, however, I simply cannot walk that mile

There's nothing for me to say, I suppose
I've said enough to last both of our lifetimes
You should move on
I am again alone

I have to walk away now
I cannot say "goodbye", because it's never quite held up
I'm no longer your White Knight in Shining Armor
That was only the delusion to two children
-who thought they knew what love was
Do not call me your Tragic Poet,
-for I do not wish to be attached to tragedy anymore
Do not call my name, I will not be there

In the cold maelstrom do not wish for my shelter or my wings
In the springtime of your life refuse to find my standard
In the burning desert search not for my oasis
In the fall of your perfect construct seek not my guidance

I will follow my path as it winds
The ivy is coiled around my past
Roses line the trail
Jasmine fills my nostrils with the peace of an eternity

You are still here
Are you waiting for me to say something else?
There is nothing, my dear
Our relationship has no pulse

In answer to the question "Stay or Go?"
I've found this to be the end of the road
You were merely an interlude
-in the midst of my lingering solitude.

~Drasche Borgannah~

 

[WizO_Nashira]

Passing by the Tree

**Passing by the Tree, Nashira notices quite a few pieces of parchment with the same handwritihg, so she begins to read....and after reading through them she sits to write a small reply**

For one who lays their heart bare for all to see,

I know not the person who did this to you, but I can see your torment. Know that there are others who have had difficulties and that even in not knowing them, you are not alone.

Nashira Tremont

 

[Lace]

stay then go

One of her daily walks, was to pass by the tree. Her gaze ever searching for that now familiar script. A smile suddenly alit her face as she saw the new posting. Her brows lifted slightly and then she nodded with a soft smile and penned her own note, and added it off to the side.

To Stay or Go,
Seasons come, seasons go

Sad events, do bring low
Emotions tide, no longer glow

Character building, aye please believe
Strength, virtue, it will concieve

Emotions wrought, a storm did roar
Happiness, love, eventually will soar

Please take, this unfavourable event
New foundation build, in time well spent

Never met, though hearts akin
True love, don't worry, you'll find again

Please don't stop, the words that flow
If asked, I'd say stay, then go.

~Lace Letharia