Ok... here is the long promised update! Thanks goes to drag n fly (felonca's player) for proofreading and doing quite a bit of the writeup near the end!
Messengers from the South... and the Death of Love
Months later...
Nayu shivered, flakes of snow cascading from his cloak onto the stone of the wall below. He blinked and stopped momentarily on the battlements of the repaired Xianfung palace, the former black and gold flags of the governor replaced by the Emperor’s yellow and crimson.
Below, the thousands of citizens of Xianfung now mingled in the snowy streets, markets still running feverishly high from the tens of thousands of refugees from Liaoxiang swelled the tent cities outside the walls of Xianfung. Yet today, the main street, normally clogged with feet and carts, was quiet, all eyes upturned, looking towards the southern gate.
“They arrive,” Ling whispered next to Nayu, and the sorcerer nodded. Below, he could see now several armored horsemen, their mail brilliant silver and gold, slowly pushing through the crowd. Alongside and behind them trailed a series of litters, many porters clad in furs hauling each, forming a great gilded snake, trailing through the snowy streets.
“It’s taken a long time to get to this moment,” Nayu whispered thoughtfully, before turning towards Ling and the taller willow of a boy next to him. “Thankfully the ambassadors made it through the winter, Your Majesty.”
“Thank you, Councillor Wakabayashi, for helping to bring this together,” Emperor Yuandi replied, his voice high and confident as a young boy’s should be. He smiled and Nayu, and the sorcerer found himself smiling back.
It had been five long months since the siege of Liaoxiang, and Nayu and Felonca had been busy... Felonca arranging security for the Emperor, while Nayu sent ambassadors to the other provinces of the Empire, requesting support for Yuandi. The boy had grown, even in this short time. Armies had been raised, governors recruited, yet Nayu’s mind kept going back to something that no army could solve for him.
Felonca. These days, it was more a sigh than anything. It had been a hard, trying time. He still felt her gaze as he went about the palace... a gaze that shook him to the core. At first, he’d tried to muster the courage to tell her how he felt, or more appropriately, how he
didn’t feel. At one point, his hand had been poised to knock on her door one night, before phantom images in his mind of how broken hearted she would be chased him away.
So he threw himself into the work of being an advisor to the Emperor. For the time being, the sorcerer had set aside his claim... a united Empire fighting Hu was far better than a divided Empire under attack. He’d rushed about the palace, cajoling ambassadors, priests, arranging homes for all the refugees from Liaoxiang... all in an effort to avoid a confrontation he knew was inevitable.
And now, the last ambassadors, representing the two largest and most powerful of the provinces within the Celestial Empire, had finally arrived. Footmen had rushed word ahead that the ambassador from Bei had demands to place before the Emperor in return for his support... and that some strange, exotic woman came as a representative of Han...
Once we have their support... come spring, we’ll have an army that can match Hu on the field, now that he doesn’t have the Military Governor created soldiers of the dead and demons for him... Nayu thought, watching the litters weave through the streets, then onto the snowy plaza before the palace.
“Nayu!” Felonca dashed up, and hugged him fiercely.
Its been two weeks! she thought, taking in the smell of the court off of his robes. She quailed slightly, all too aware of the smell of boots, mud, and leather that came from her own body... the smells of two weeks of winter training. The Emperor had already commented on it, before promptly wishing he was the one in the winter training, instead of sitting on the throne.
She pulled back, and looked into his eyes. They were smiling, but still, she could see that there was something behind that easy look... something darker, that she couldn’t place. Within a moment, it was gone.
“How’s the general doing?” he asked with a teasing smile as the two walked into the converted reception hall of the Xianfung Palace.
“Don’t rub it in!” Felonca grinned as they entered the marbled hall, jade and granite columns rising all around them. “Besides, its only temporary, until Uncle Dian comes back from recruiting in Taisho!” She turned red slightly, then glanced down at the worn helm cradled under her arm... the twin red and white plumes of a Jiang (roughly major general) rising from the crest.
“Well... now that you’ve had your fun with soldiers,” the sorcerer teased a little more, “now you get to hear the boring realm of diplomacy. Han and Bei have finally arrived... and I apologize if this pulls you from the marshalling fields...”
“Oh, I don’t mind!” Felonca said a little too quickly, looking into his eyes a little too much, she was so eager to be beside him again.
Dammit... quick! Her mind jumbled a thought, and sputtered out, “I...um... know you’ve been working so hard at all of this! Putting all of this together, and I wouldn’t miss your crowning moment for the world!”
“Well...” Nayu started, before the sounds of a distant gong signaled the arrival of the ambassadors. Quickly the two found their places... as a chief advisor to the Emperor, Nayu received a place on the raised Imperial dais, to the right of the Emperor on his throne. Felonca, as one of many generals, was content to sit on the floor... though her close friendship with Yuandi ensured her seat was in the front row.
“Ambassador Qi Dafeng, of the Province of Bei!” the chamberlain announced, and with a cascading creak, the doors to the reception hall opened. A huge man, easily as tall as Nayu yet three times as wide, lumbered into the chambers, his huge and billowing robes thankfully covering the rolls of fat that fell from his body.
Bei... that’s a southern province, with the mouth of the Yaling River... in his last letter, Nayu said they wanted to triple the price of shipping down the river to forty silver taels for... something... she didn’t quite remember the details, and forced herself not to look up at Nayu sitting on the dais, the bright yellow and black robes of an Imperial adviser hanging smartly from his frame.
Han is further upriver, and wants no increase on the taxes on shipping... Felonca distracted herself from staring.
It also has the largest amount of cavalry in the Empire... if Nayu can get them to join us. She thought of her Uncle Dian, wildly giggling while leading a charge on horseback, and she smiled.
As the gigantic chunk of lard that called himself the ambassador from Bei sat on the mat provided, Nayu turned his eyes back towards the door. He wrinkled his nose, a new smell sifting in place of the incense.
Is that... rose and saffron? His nostrils were nowhere as sensitive as Felonca’s, yet the smell grew... roses, saffron, and flowers all enveloping around his nose, catching his attention. Somewhere in the distance, a gentle chime sounded, and Nayu’s eyes went wide.
She came in silently, gracefully, blue and green silk flowing from her figure as water gently cascades in a peaceful brook. Nayu found his eyes admiring first her figure, seemingly the work of an immaculate artist, sculpted to perfection. His gaze drifted to her face, only the slightest of wrinkles beginning to form on her exotically pale face. Then, under the strange, golden cascades of her hair, he caught her eyes... a fiery blue that stared defiantly, challengingly into his own, tiny flecks of red dancing in their bold sea.
I... Nayu started, before his mind briefly broke from coherent thought, the jewelry framing the woman’s face tinkling gently as she walked to the center of the room, then bowed to the Emperor, then to Ling, and finally, towards Nayu. For the moment, the sorcerer forgot himself, and stared at the perfect view down the strange beauty’s shirt.
“Your Majesty, Princess Royukgan Vintressa, wife of Prince Royukgan Liuye, Governor of the Province of Han!” the chamberlain called, and finally Nayu’s mind pushed past the fog, barely recognizing the name.
I know they said she was the daughter of the great Emperor over the mountains... and that she was beautiful despite her age... but this... Nayu squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, trying to focus his mind... yet with every breath, the smell of the perfume wafting from her made his mind bring back that face.
“May His Majesty reign in health!” she said, her voice sounding to Nayu like the gentle call of a morning breeze. “And may his councillors continue their sage advice,” she added, those blue eyes looking into Nayu’s again, still challenging, arousing his interest. All thoughts of his friends, the world around him even, seemed to vanish in those sky blue eyes. For several moments, silence hung in the room, until Nayu belatedly realized all eyes were staring at him.
“And may the ancestors protect you and your people,” Nayu hurriedly replied.
Dammit! You’re daydreaming! You can’t do that! You’re a councillor to the Emperor! Nayu yelled at himself,
And you want to impress her! Was that suave! No... it wasn’t! You looked like a complete goof!
“Thank you, Councillor,” she smiled at him and bowed again. “I bring condolences from my husband. He regrets that his horse threw him before he received your summons, Majesty, and that he is unable to travel,” she smiled smoothly at the Emperor, before her eyes momentarily darted back to Nayu.
The sorcerer felt his heart turning into butter.
What’s wrong with Nayu? Felonca thought, looking at her friend and love. In all the meetings she’d even seen him participate in, he’d always been focused, attentive, ready to solve problems and give advice. Yet today, his eyes seemed unfocused, and he shook his head constantly, as if he needed to break a daydream.
Then her eyes followed his gaze... and she found her own rooted in the canyon of cleavage that was the chest of the Han ambassador.
And she felt her heart turning to stone.
“Your Majesty, the province of Han is full of your loyal children, who only seek to see that your enlightened rule survive these troubles, and that your reign may continue in peace and prosperity,” the beautiful Vintressa bowed, yet when she looked up, Nayu saw the slightest, faintest bit of steel in her blues eyes. “However, we do have a request for Masters Won Wei and Wakabayashi, that must be met so your children will rejoice in your safety.”
“Please,” the Emperor nodded, as Nayu stared wide-eyed between the ambassador and the Emperor... mostly at the ambassador.
What could she want from me? Even as his intellectual mind tried to rationalize what he could give her... or more likely, Han province... the small part of his mind that was still 18 years old shouted out its own conclusion, one that filled him with dreadful hopefulness.
“We insist that His Majesty appoint as his sole advisors Masters Won Wei, and Wakabayashi, as well as remove the Empress Dowager from all decision making,” the Princess said, and Nayu could’ve sworn she was staring at him the entire time. “While the Empress Dowager has yet to be found, we want assurances that her advice which so badly led us all will never again arise as a specter to haunt us once again.”
“Granted,” Nayu said aloud, exactly at the same time as the Emperor himself. The boy flashed Nayu a smile, as the sorcerer flashed the ambassador a far different smile. “We promise that our guidance, along with the wise words of Governor Ling, will keep his Majesty well-informed.”
“I... as well as my people... are in your debt, Masters,” the Princess replied, her eyes once again boring into Nayu.
As the conversation moved towards the dispute between Han and Bei regarding river rights, Nayu tried his best to listen attentively, but even when his ears weren’t lulled by the Princess’ voice, or his eyes bewitched by her body, his mind found itself trapped by her wit. For every dull or crass comment from the ambassador from Bei, she launched a witty and acerbic response. For every claim, a counter, for every attack, as smug reply, and as the conversation went on, Nayu realized with sudden alacrity that even as the ambassador from Bei thumped his chest and postured, that not only had Vintressa changed his position to the side of Han, she’d made him think it was Bei’s idea.
A mind to match her body... Nayu mentally stuttered. Felonca was occasionally witty, but nothing as close to what the wife of the Prince of Han seemed to casually dish to her opponents. Part of the sorcerer’s mind realized that she should be that witty... she’d been the wife of a governor for over twenty years, she’d been raised as a Princess Imperial. Yet as she continued to speak, more and more his own reasoning mind gave way to baser instinct.
And his heart beat faster.
He’s gawking at her! Felonca fumed, all the while remaining quiet despite her urge to reach up and throttle the other woman.
He’s not honestly thinking that... part of her claimed...
He’s thinking politically... alliances and the like. Yet the woman in her saw something in Nayu’s eyes that she hadn’t seen anywhere else... something deep, rumbling...
The look he’s never given you, she thought morosely, even as she hoped against hope. Finally, the conference broke apart, and Felonca watched the ambassador from Bei rise ponderously to his feet, thank the Emperor, then shuffle out. She hoped that the Princess would leave quickly as well... and perhaps trip over something on the way out.
Yet when she turned, she saw Nayu approaching the older beauty, a look of determination, even smugness in his eyes, a look Felonca immediately realized was the face of a hunter, stalking his prey. Instantly, the hengeyokai focused her acute hearing, eavesdropping on their conversation. She knew it was wrong, she knew she shouldn’t do it, but she desperately needed to know.
At first there was idle chitchat, even a compliment from the Princess on Nayu’s success despite his youth, yet Felonca could hear the rushing current underneath the words, and a torrent of emotions ran through the hengeyokai’s mind.
No... he surely can’t be thinking...
Then she heard seven words that broke her heart.
Hours later, Felonca was alternately stalking around her room and curling up in a painful ball on her bed. It was too much to think about, too much to deal with. The panther side of her wanted to run and scream and kill something. The woman side of her wanted to die.
It had been easy, these past few months. She had hardly seen any of Nayu, they were both so busy all of the time. The emotions that had grown to the breaking point in Liaoxiang were pushed aside. She had been so close to telling Nayu how she felt multiple times since then. But each time something had come up. A new group of soldiers to train, a short journey to take, and Nayu never seemed to have time to be alone with her anymore. At times, Felonca missed their travels across the countryside. It may have been hard and wearying, but at least they had been together.
But now…
A soft knock at the door drew her attention away from herself, but then the scent of who it was struck like a dagger in her belly.
“Go away!” her voice was somewhat muffled by the pillow she was hugging with all of her might, but she didn’t care. The warm, somewhat spicy scent filled her nostrils, and she heard, echoing in her mind, those seven words that tore things apart.
“Will you share my chambers tonight, Princess?”
They had been said with all the suaveness and skill Nayu could muster... Felonca had seen that. If Nayu had known or cared to look up at that moment, he would have seen the heart of his best friend dying. But all he had eyes for was Vintressa, who, with just as much suave and skill, turned him down with a smile that only cemented his desire for her.
The knock came again, louder this time. Felonca rolled over on the bed and curled up around the pillow, pulling it into her chest and shaking as though it was a dagger that could end her pain.
Her sensitive ears heard the soft *click*, and she realized with a mix of shock and joy that she had forgotten to lock the door, the twin opposite emotions rushing through her soul.
For a long moment, there was silence. Felonca could feel him standing there, his eyes burning into her back from the open doorway. She resisted the urge to jump up and flee, and her body trembled with the effort of holding still, hoping he’d say something, praying that he wouldn’t...
Nice going, Nayu. The sorcerer rubbed his eyes for a moment.
You’ve just destroyed one of the best things you ever had. She was always there for you, she’s saved your life a couple of times now. You, Mr. cool and smooth…too cowardly to tell her how you felt, so you told her you didn’t love her by propositioning another woman. A MARRIED woman.
Ass.
Nayu’s conscience still grated him for what he’d done... and grated him because part of him hoped that the Princess would change her mind, that later that night he’d hear the door to his chamber creak open slowly...
And another, cowardly part, was almost glad.
Now Felonca knows how I feel, she won’t keep giving me those looks, or berating me for taking risks. It’s easier this way.
At least she knows now...
On the bed, Felonca could almost hear his thoughts, and a small whimper escaped from her tightly clenched teeth.
I will not cry... I will not cry... she repeated to herself. She didn’t want to give him that satisfaction... him. A scar had risen over her soul... and for a moment, Nayu ceased to have a name.
Nayu heard it, and sighed, his thoughts evaporating.
She’s still my friend, his conscience yelled at him.
No one deserves to be shot down that way.
Why didn’t you just tell her? Ass! his conscience shouted.
Because I didn’t want to see her cry! I didn’t want to see her hurt!
Well, good job of avoiding that, ass! The look on Felonca’s face when the Princess had left the chambers stayed in Nayu’s mind. Pain, even anguish in her blue eyes, her body shifting involuntarily between human and hybrid, before she stormed out of the chambers.
He grated his teeth together, trying to think of something to say, something that could fix everything that’d happened.
I’m sorry, Felonca. I didn’t want to tell you like this…
He sighed, and reached out to gently touch her shoulder.
The touch jumped across her heart as if he had zapped her with a lightning bolt, and she was up and away from him in a moment, her hand pressed to her shoulder as if to wipe off his touch, or to clutch it to her forever.
For a moment, they faced each other over an empty bed, the silence between them filled with accusations, fear and betrayed trust, and a love that could never be reconciled.
“Nayu... why?” Felonca asked as her friend, her confidante, everything she’d hoped for except for one very important final thing, looked down. Felonca sniffled slightly, anger starting to come into her voice. “Why is
she okay, but not me?”
“Felonca, it’s...”
“...because she’s exotic?” Felonca snapped, her voice much higher than she wanted. It was almost as if she was a mere spectator, as she heard her own voice tremble between a squeak and a scream. “Because she’s not a mere run-of-the-mill panther hengeyokai?” she snarled in irony, gesturing with her hand to take in her dark skin and hair, wiry muscles, and comparatively flat chest. “Or is it because you can stare down the canyon that’s her fricking cleavage?!”
Nayu’s blush was answer enough, and Felonca’s anger dissolved into tears.
“This is why we’ve barely seen each other these past few months, isn’t it. You’ve been avoiding me! Because you couldn’t tell me how you felt!” It all made sense... and it hurt even more. He’d known how she felt, and he’d run away from her because of it! She watched with fear and anger as Nayu’s now tear-blurred face looked at her.
“Felonca, I’m sorry…”
That’s what I expected to hear, she thought darkly.
“You’re sorry!” Felonca threw up her hands, even as part of her felt guilty at the consternation in his voice, but she couldn’t stop herself. She was still seeing the situation as an outsider, and deep inside, she feverently hoped this was a dream, that it wasn’t real. That she could keep loving her friend forever without his ever knowing…
“You’re sorry!” she repeated, harsher this time. “Of course, you’re sorry! You’re always sorry. But sorry doesn’t change what you did!” Suddenly, all she cared about was hurting him, tearing him so deeply and making him feel the way that she did. “Well you know what, I’m sorry! Sorry that I ever trusted you enough to protect you, to care for you, to keep your secret,
Emperor Nayu! You’re no Emperor, you’re a betrayer! You’ve betrayed me, you’ve betrayed the people by not being the leader that they need, and you’ve betrayed your father…”
She realized immediately she shouldn’t have touched on that subject, when Nayu’s eyes flashed, and his nostrils flared wide.
“Enough!” Nayu’s voice shook the room. His eyes were flashing with a dark intense color as the faintest wisps of magic began to encircle his clenched hands. Felonca quailed, suddenly realizing that she was facing one of the most powerful magic-users in the kingdom, but part of her filled with glee at the thought that he might strike her down. Then at least, she wouldn’t feel her heart exploding at the sight of him…
Her thoughts showed in her eyes, and for a moment, she stood before him, proud and defiant, beautiful in her pain, a panther warrior to the very end. She watched as the anger in his eyes stuttered, then seemed to dim... his eyes looking deep into her soul. The sorrow, the loneliness, the fear that gripped her flashed out through her eyes, and to her surprise, Felonca saw an echo in his face. Memories of her helping him during his own loss so long ago. For a moment, Nayu looked much older than his mere 18 years, like he bore the wearied countenance of an old man.
Of his father.
“Enough,” he repeated, but his voice was quiet, and his eyes were his own again. “Felonca, I’m sorry that I hurt you so badly. I know that what I did can never be undone, and I only hope that it is still in the stars that we can be comrades, if not friends.” He closed his eyes and swallowed, his own voice trembling as for the first time in a very long time, he had let down his walls, and stammered out his heart. “I still need you, Felonca. I need to you to be advisor, and my general. I…I can’t do this alone. I need you by my side to help me lead this empire…but not as a lover. I’m sorry that I don’t feel about you in that way, I truly am. You’ve been there for me through…everything, and…”
As he was talking, Felonca noticed the change in him, and she too, remembered a time when they could sit and laugh, and he could scratch that place behind her ear without any worries.
He does need me… She realized with a shock.
He needs a friend when the pressures of his destiny get to be too much. He’s still just a scared young man…and I’m just a scared young woman.
“Shhh,” Felonca interrupted Nayu by stepping forward and taking him in her arms. For a moment he was stiff, and then he softened in her embrace and held her back. She buried her face in his shoulder and inhaled the scent of him, filling her nostrils and her memory with this one moment when, for an instant, she could love him without reservation, and she was sure, he loved her back.
“I’m sorry too, Nayu. I didn’t mean what I said earlier.” She said softly into his shirt.
“I know.” She didn’t see his mouth twist into a rueful smile.
For a moment, there was silence, then she shifted her form in his arms and pressed the side of her head against his, and Nayu felt a deep thrumming against his cheek. In surprise he realized that Felonca was purring.
“I’ll always be there for you Nayu. I want you to know that.” Her voice was soft and husky. She pulled back and for a moment she looked him full in the face as his arms surrounded her. Then she smiled. “After all, what would you do without your clever kitty.”
He smiled back, and she saw in his eyes the memories of the comment from seemingly a lifetime ago.
At that moment, Felonca realized that they were just too different to ever be together. She loved an Emperor…who could not love her back. She felt the steel bands surrounding her heart as she forced herself to pull away from him. Never again would she be held in his arms. Never again would she be able to view him as more than a friend.
In his heart too, Nayu knew this was it. Their relationship had changed, significantly. He knew that things would be tense for a while between them. He only hoped that, some day, she would be able to forgive him.
********************************************
As for the 'love story' between the two, its a literary invention of mine to try to explain what happened here, at the end of the 12th session. Felonca's player had made allusions in earlier sessions that her character had a thing for Nayu, but Nayu's player didn't really respond.
Since Felonca's player in a previous campaign played the mother of this Vintressa woman (see the end of
Into the Icy Darkness), I thought it'd be a fun way to end the session. Since in the previous story she'd ended up married to a local of Ak Konylu, it wasn't hard to introduce her in. I hadn't expected, however, Nayu's player wanting to roll a diplomacy check to try to sleep with her (He failed, but barely). This was not popular with Felonca's player, and I promptly put the mini-bruhaha in my notes. Yet both Felonca and Nayu are reasonably intelligent characters, so the fight wouldn't have sprung up overnight... so I built it up a bit to make it make sense within the story.
