I really don’t care what the description of Wisdom says it represents. I only care what Wisdom actually does. Actions speak louder than words and all that.
And there are no D&D mechanics representing a propensity to hide in furnaces or light things on fire.
Except there is no mechanical effect of Wisdom that reinforces this “crazy” description. Lack of focus and willpower? Sure, that’s something that actually clashes with Wisdom. I would argue not more so than their lack of social ability and knowledge clash more with Charisma and Intelligence, and I’m working under the assumption that PC races will have one of their fixed bonuses in a mental ability.
What the Wisdom description says that it represents guides how monsters are used, foes are built, and many of the underlying uses in spells and magic. If what it represents didn't matter then mapping mechanics to the stats would not be necessary. There may not be a D&D mechanic representing a propensity to hide in furnaces or light things on fire, but there are mechanics that say the lower your wisdom the less capable you are of rational thought, with a 0 Wisdom rendering you both irrational and unconscious. You are correct that "actions speak louder than words," and although you claim that you don't care what Wisdom represents, but, rather, what it does, your actions throughout many of your arguments are indicative that you do care about what Wisdom, Charisma, and Intelligence represents.
Ok, so bard might not be a terrible fit for goblins. I still say “magic that is granted by an external source” is a better fit for them than “inherent magic.”
Not a terrible fit? How would you expect an anti-writing culture to preserve its traditions, history, and heritage? Orally. Yeah, it turns out that bards are a big deals in goblin culture in Golarion. (As are Sorcerers for the record; they are Wizards that don't have to use nasty writing.)
So what I’m seeing here is that rangers, druids, and clerics (of Lamashtu), are all good fits for goblins.
You have made it abundantly clear that you are deadset on seeing what you want to see regardless of other evidence. I still have not seen a compelling argument from you as to why they should receive a bonus to Wisdom. What you want them to be good at does not mean that both stats should be oriented towards those things. Dwarves should make great fighters, but they do not receive an inherent Strength bonus, but they do receive a bonus to Constitution. Elves should be good rangers and druids too, but they only receive a bonus to Dexterity and not Wisdom. Dexterity is appropriate enough for goblin druids and rangers.
And? Alchemists aren’t casters and don’t necessarily need to learn their craft through study. An Alchemist could as easily learn through unguided experimentation, which is very Goblin like, especially if that experimentation is likely to result in explosions.
The point being is that you are ruling out a bonus to Intelligence on the basis of the wizard as caster alone, which is short-sighted. I am not saying that they should be good wizards. I am saying that your rationale is poor.
Personally, I don’t care about them. Maybe I’ll worry about them when we see them actually in PF2. Are they intelligence based casters? Do their gain their magic through intensive study and focus? Then they don’t seem like a good fit for goblins to me.
Witches are Intelligence-based casters. They gain their powers through "communion with the unknown" and powerful mysterious patrons rather than study.
So why not extend that submissive service to powerful entities like the gods?
They are, but generally not generally as clerics, but as other servants and slaves.
I don’t know, probably? Where do oracles get their magic from?
You say "probably" before even asking where they get their magic from? Okay. That approach seems backwards to me, but whatever. Oracles are basically spontaneously casting clerics that use Charisma. They do not draw from "a god," but instead from potentially multiple gods who share their beliefs. They tap into mysteries representing broader ideals (e.g., flame, ancestors, shadow, wood, etc.) rather than a deity.
Isn’t Handle Animal Charisma based in PF? Yeah, I see them being bad at that.
Now this just shows immense ignorance of goblins in D&D. Goblins in D&D have close associations with worgs, wolves, other mounts, and a number of other pets, at least apart from dogs and horses in Golarion.
I’m sorry, is every Ancestry portrayed as easily distracted by shiny things?
No, but your rationale was "gotta know where the shinies are," which could easily apply to numerous other ancestries; it's like writing an astrology description for ancestries. Easily distracted does correlate to low wisdom and Perception. Even then, being good at Perception does not mean that the ancestry in question warrants a bonus to Wisdom. See Elves, who receive a bonus to Perception checks without receiving a Wisdom bonus.
The fact that they live in caves indicates that they are at least baseline capable of surviving in hostile conditions, which is what the Survival skill does. That a race survives in the wilderness does not necessarily mean that it must have a Wisdom bonus, but is one point in favor of them having it, since being better at survival is an effect of higher Wisdom. If another mental Ability is still more appropriate, the race should get it instead. I don’t find Intelligence or Charisma to be more appropriate for goblins than Wisdom, based on what those abilities do.
Weak sauce argument.
Worship the spooky thing and it gives you power seems to me like the most quintessentially goblin-y expression of magic.
And funnily enough, this does not describe the spiritual approaches of either the Cleric or Druid, but it does fit much closer with the approaches of the Oracle and Witch.
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