The Laws of the Dungeon
Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
Murphy was a DM!
The Thayan Menace
First Post
The Law of Forbidden Knowledge (Religion)
-Samir
At least not until you work out an elaborate sacrifice ritual (see the BoVD, pp. 26-28).Aeson said:
-Samir
Photocopied from Dargon I think when it came out and put on my DM screen...my groups contribution at the bottom of the list. Several of these actually came up over the course of the years...
The Last Word or Adventurers say the darndest things before you squash them
January 1988, #129 (Gregg Sharp)
"Well, I think that's the last of them."
"Hey, what do you suppose this lever does?"
"I couldn't find any traps." "I disarmed the trap."
"That's not really poison gas."
"Come on in! The water's fine."
"What? No, I wasn't reading your module. I was just looking at the pictures."
"Okay, wishing well--make me a [insert name of a nonliving or inanimate object]."
"I hope the bridge holds up."
"What landshark?"
"Death before dishonor! Attack!
"Things couldn't possibly get any worse."
"Of course I trust the thief. He's in our party."
"What does that mark on the door mean?"
"We really didn't need a cleric anyway."
"I'll drink it."
"I think I can make it."
"Oops."
"This is a wimp dungeon."
"Why did our torch flames turn blue?"
"Sure glad that's over with. I'm taking off my armor."
"I go up to the lich and try to pick its pocket."
"Geez, what an ugly [insert character class name]."
"That door wasn't trapped the last time we were here."
"The minotaur's got me in a bearhug? Great! I cast my flame strike on it."
"What luck: a demon prince! If we kill him, we get a horde of treasure and experience
points."
"A wizard, huh? I throw my drink at him."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
"It's a troll. So what?"
"This looks like a good place to set up camp."
"I open the door and rush forward with my spear set in a charge."
"I don't care. I won't retreat no matter how big or powerful an opponent is."
"They'll never find me here."
"Does a 3 save?"
"What do you suppose that rushing noise is?"
"Oh no, not again."
"Nothing ever happens on the first level.
"Shh! There it is again."
"Naw, the DM won't hit us with anything till we get to the dungeon."
"If the merchant doesn't like it, I'll just run him through. I'll kill his guards, too."
"I don't need any help."
"I've never seen a ballista before. What's it do?"
"Hey, in there! Come on out and fight!"
"Giants: The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
"I'm a cleric. I can turn all undead."
"Brak? That's a stupid name for a barbarian."
"Oh, we won't die. The DM won't let us."
"It looks like some kind of mold."
"I've got a bad feeling about this."
"They're just kobolds."
"Push the reb button first, then the blue one. No, wait--"
"We'll go in. We can handle anything!"
June 1988, #134 (Cliff Frazier)
"I ain't afraid of no giants."
"What's that? "Aw, it was nothin'."
"Are those drums I hear?"
"We don't need to post guards at night. We're too powerful."
"Hey, fellas!" "Shut up, Ernie!" "But guys--"
October 1988, #138 (Daniel Watson)
"It's probably just another gas spore."
"Who's the chick with the spiders?"
"No, you go on without me."
"Without Mjolnir, I'll bet you're a real wimp."
"What's that up ahead?"
"C'mon guys, let's show him who's boss."
"Why is it so dark in here?"
"He's probably only first level."
"I'll try to talk to it."
"It's just another illusion."
"I think it's dead."
"Let's split up."
"I'll walk up to the dragon invisibly."
"Why is that man performing sign language?"
"Don't be so paranoid."
October 1988, #138 (Darrell Anderson)
"The dragon's asleep!"
"How much damage do I take?"
"They won't kill us if we surrender."
"I'm opening the chest."
"Those stairs sure look slippery."
"What does green slime taste like?"
"Hey, look--archers!"
"Spikes in the bottom of a chest--how weird!"
"I'll dive in with full plate on."
"How many are there?"
"I'll snap the staff!"
"That's no mage!"
"Did you ever see so many teeth?"
"It says 'healing' on the label."
"I'll turn the 43 vampires!"
"Neat! A cave entrance that looks like a mouth!"
"I'm going to open the door, push the third book tot he left on the bottom shelf, enter the secret room, open the chest, take out the 3,142 gold pieces, put on the ring of animal control in the false bottom, and control the snake I find under the box. Pretty good guess, huh?"
1990-1996? Vandenberg AFB California
"If we set it free, maybe it will reward us"
"I'll take the gold"
The Last Word or Adventurers say the darndest things before you squash them
January 1988, #129 (Gregg Sharp)
"Well, I think that's the last of them."
"Hey, what do you suppose this lever does?"
"I couldn't find any traps." "I disarmed the trap."
"That's not really poison gas."
"Come on in! The water's fine."
"What? No, I wasn't reading your module. I was just looking at the pictures."
"Okay, wishing well--make me a [insert name of a nonliving or inanimate object]."
"I hope the bridge holds up."
"What landshark?"
"Death before dishonor! Attack!
"Things couldn't possibly get any worse."
"Of course I trust the thief. He's in our party."
"What does that mark on the door mean?"
"We really didn't need a cleric anyway."
"I'll drink it."
"I think I can make it."
"Oops."
"This is a wimp dungeon."
"Why did our torch flames turn blue?"
"Sure glad that's over with. I'm taking off my armor."
"I go up to the lich and try to pick its pocket."
"Geez, what an ugly [insert character class name]."
"That door wasn't trapped the last time we were here."
"The minotaur's got me in a bearhug? Great! I cast my flame strike on it."
"What luck: a demon prince! If we kill him, we get a horde of treasure and experience
points."
"A wizard, huh? I throw my drink at him."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
"It's a troll. So what?"
"This looks like a good place to set up camp."
"I open the door and rush forward with my spear set in a charge."
"I don't care. I won't retreat no matter how big or powerful an opponent is."
"They'll never find me here."
"Does a 3 save?"
"What do you suppose that rushing noise is?"
"Oh no, not again."
"Nothing ever happens on the first level.
"Shh! There it is again."
"Naw, the DM won't hit us with anything till we get to the dungeon."
"If the merchant doesn't like it, I'll just run him through. I'll kill his guards, too."
"I don't need any help."
"I've never seen a ballista before. What's it do?"
"Hey, in there! Come on out and fight!"
"Giants: The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
"I'm a cleric. I can turn all undead."
"Brak? That's a stupid name for a barbarian."
"Oh, we won't die. The DM won't let us."
"It looks like some kind of mold."
"I've got a bad feeling about this."
"They're just kobolds."
"Push the reb button first, then the blue one. No, wait--"
"We'll go in. We can handle anything!"
June 1988, #134 (Cliff Frazier)
"I ain't afraid of no giants."
"What's that? "Aw, it was nothin'."
"Are those drums I hear?"
"We don't need to post guards at night. We're too powerful."
"Hey, fellas!" "Shut up, Ernie!" "But guys--"
October 1988, #138 (Daniel Watson)
"It's probably just another gas spore."
"Who's the chick with the spiders?"
"No, you go on without me."
"Without Mjolnir, I'll bet you're a real wimp."
"What's that up ahead?"
"C'mon guys, let's show him who's boss."
"Why is it so dark in here?"
"He's probably only first level."
"I'll try to talk to it."
"It's just another illusion."
"I think it's dead."
"Let's split up."
"I'll walk up to the dragon invisibly."
"Why is that man performing sign language?"
"Don't be so paranoid."
October 1988, #138 (Darrell Anderson)
"The dragon's asleep!"
"How much damage do I take?"
"They won't kill us if we surrender."
"I'm opening the chest."
"Those stairs sure look slippery."
"What does green slime taste like?"
"Hey, look--archers!"
"Spikes in the bottom of a chest--how weird!"
"I'll dive in with full plate on."
"How many are there?"
"I'll snap the staff!"
"That's no mage!"
"Did you ever see so many teeth?"
"It says 'healing' on the label."
"I'll turn the 43 vampires!"
"Neat! A cave entrance that looks like a mouth!"
"I'm going to open the door, push the third book tot he left on the bottom shelf, enter the secret room, open the chest, take out the 3,142 gold pieces, put on the ring of animal control in the false bottom, and control the snake I find under the box. Pretty good guess, huh?"
1990-1996? Vandenberg AFB California
"If we set it free, maybe it will reward us"
"I'll take the gold"
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