Where to find a nerdy girl?

[Dannyalcatraz]

We all have limitations to our tolerances for those who differ from ourselves. I remember as a teen hearing some older people use phrases like "Love me, love my cat." I would have problems with someone who couldn't tolerate my pets. Or my cooking.

I also won't even consider dating a smoker, alkie or drug abuser. Etc.

But being too similar can also a problem: I won't date someone with the same flaws as myself, but worse- my bad habits don't need reinforcement.

 

[Umbran]

Incorrect, good sir. Humor and, maybe more importantly, brash (read: confident) behavior do tend to work as attractants fairly often.

Talking about poo, not so much, though. That's not "brash", that's just being crude. There's a difference.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

...depending on time, place and audience, of course.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

Talking about poo, not so much, though. That's not "brash", that's just being crude. There's a difference.

What-evs, homie. I know my track record a lot better than you.

*sigh* I suppose I'll waste my time typing up an explanation you'll refuse to listen to cuz, well, I like to hear (see) myself talk. Anyhoo, it's like this: When you're with girls and you may have an interest and this interest may be being subtly broadcast via vague flirtation and you still decide to have the sort of conversation goldo and I were having anyway, well, it is brash. Cuz, well, the girls may not see it as something silly - they may see it as crude or whatever. The thing is, a conversation like that typically happens between friends. What you're doing in this situation is being yourself in spite of the company - demonstrating a high level of confidence. Sure, I know I'm sitting here flirting with you, but baby, I needs to haves me my fun, too. You know, that sort of thing. And if she is put off? Well, that's some valuable intel. She don't like your humor, she don't like your friends, she don't like unfiltered you? Forget her. She's not for you.

I have done this sort of thing more times than I can remember. It works because it isn't schtick. It's me. If some people are comfortable with the idea that they need to hide some part of themselves or the way they interact with friends that's cool. They just shouldn't expect other people to live a lie like they do.

 

[Herschel]

Aw man, that's very cliché. I'm seeing a co-worker, and we've been living together for 2 years now

And that's great, but it's still a heck of a risk far too often when you have other options. It's akin to getting someone's name on a tattoo. Yeah, it's great as long as you're together but with the failure rate of relationships it's a risk usually worth avoiding.

 

[Umbran]

...depending on time, place and audience, of course.

Yes. In some time, places, and audiences, it is neither crude, nor brash - it is getting work done. Your veterinarian discussing Fluffy's sample and whether a de-wormer is needed, for instance.

 

[Umbran]

*sigh* I suppose I'll waste my time typing up an explanation you'll refuse to listen to cuz, well, I like to hear (see) myself talk.

Ah, trying the old, "Dismiss me and my thoughts ahead of time, and make it look like it is my fault," trick.

Cliche, obvious, uninspired and unimaginative. Your execution was weak - way too blunt, and you didn't stick the landing. Only a 2.5 out of 5 for style, where the 0.5 comes from the self-deprecating humor bit, which is the only subtlety or art in the piece.

Really, if you are going to risk being rude to a mod's face like that, at least make it worth the effort. Have some self-esteem, some pride in your work, man!

I have done this sort of thing more times than I can remember.

Ah, now we see. Okay, so either you have a horrible memory, or this means you have to do this sort of thing a lot. Which means, these ladies are not sticking around much...

Consider that a moment. You bragged about your "track record" - what kind of record is it when none of them seem to stay around, so you have to do this over and over again? Anyone can acquire a petty, temporary dalliance. That's no big deal. Relationships that last, however, are a touch more difficult. And usually don't include so much poo-talk, at least until children are part of the picture.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

Ah, trying the old, "Dismiss me and my thoughts ahead of time, and make it look like it is my fault," trick.

Cliche, obvious, uninspired and unimaginative. Your execution was weak - way too blunt, and you didn't stick the landing. Only a 2.5 out of 5 for style, where the 0.5 comes from the self-deprecating humor bit, which is the only subtlety or art in the piece.

Really, if you are going to risk being rude to a mod's face like that, at least make it worth the effort. Have some self-esteem, some pride in your work, man!

My tone was a direct result of yours. Treat me better and you'll get the respect you seem to think a mod badge automatically earns you.

That said, I'll see you're calling my 'trick' with me calling you on yours - completely ignoring what I said because of faux righteous indignation. That respect thing? You're not doing so hawt, ace. Maybe that *sigh* was exactly as warranted as I said it was.

Ah, now we see. Okay, so either you have a horrible memory, or this means you have to do this sort of thing a lot. Which means, these ladies are not sticking around much...

Well, if I had to do it as often as you make baseless assumptions you'd have a point. I don't, though, so you'll need to try again. Protip: Don't make assumptions and then base your attack on them. Try asking questions - you know, engaging in conversation. I could, of course, simply correct you where you're wrong here but, well, you don't deserve that courtesy right now.

Consider that a moment. You bragged about your "track record" - what kind of record is it when none of them seem to stay around, so you have to do this over and over again? Anyone can acquire a petty, temporary dalliance. That's no big deal. Relationships that last, however, are a touch more difficult. And usually don't include so much poo-talk, at least until children are part of the picture.

And you consider this a moment: Your entire response was based in assumptions you made about me without even attempting to see whether or not they were correct. In a lot of cases doing something like that often leads to not only a smug sense of self-superiority but also, unfortunately, being completely wrong. And you are. I'll accept your apology when you're ready. Until then, I'll answer any questions about the situation that you choose to ask. I will not, however, give you any information without a request. You've decided what way you want to play this game already and I refuse to play along.

 

[Majoru Oakheart]

I agree. In fact, I think most aren't, really. Most girls I've ever met or established a relationship were obviously into aspects of me they found attractive (or worthy of friendship). None of them changed their minds when they learned I gamed or whatever, and if they did it'd be a quick ticket to (metaphorical) bootsville

I've got a long term girlfriend right now. However, I can say that these judgmental people exist.

I once went out on a date with someone I met on OKCupid and we got along really well. It was our second or third date that I opened up a little more to her about some of my gaming activities and told her about the fact that some friends and I traveled to a park on the border of Canada and the US(the International Peace Garden) for a weekend of camping and playing D&D once a year as a way of getting around the rules in Living Greyhawk. The rules being that you needed to be physically located in a region to play adventures set in that region. So we played both Ket adventures and Shieldlands adventures since we could easily cross between North Dakota and Manitoba.

We went on one more date after that and then she instant messaged me telling me that she had been thinking about that ever since I said it and that she couldn't imagine anyone who was dedicated enough to games that they'd go camping just to play games as mature enough to date. She played Settlers of Catan all the time. But she felt that since she only played games during her spare time and didn't go out of her way to plan a game a year in advance and travel 3 hours to get there that at least she was normal and not obsessed.

 

[Kramodlog]

Some people really discriminate like that. Like some will say that because you do not really do anythign at work, you lack ambition and do not deserve her, even if you make four times her salary.