So when you state that "creatures inside a darkness spell know each other's exact locations", I disagree. The rules don't state that anywhere. If you walk into an area of darkness with an iron golem and it hasn't been activated yet, I would rule that you have no way of knowing it's there (barring other magic). It doesn't breath, it isn't moving, it is literally making no sound.
The only way to detect the golem is to stumble into it since the only way to perceive it would be to see it, which you cannot do.
If the golem activates because you enter the area and it starts moving, you can hear it and now you may know something is out there. You may even have a pretty good idea of it's location depending on the situation, but it's not automatic. The way I run it, you may not know exactly where it is until it attacks. At that point you can target it with disadvantage (because you are effectively blind).
I agree that this does leave a lot up to the DM and different DMs are going to rule it differently. That may bother rules lawyers (not saying you are one or that it's even a bad thing) but it's just part of the structure of 5E.