Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[Jeff Wilder]

I think Mistwell's position that one is obligated to accept an invitation is idiotic and outdated.

I think Mistwell is overstating things; pushing back unnecessarily in defense due to the misunderstandings of others. I think his basic premise -- "it's rude to refuse to enter a social environment because you don't trust the other attendees enough not to be buffoons, and you have no experience with these other attendees being buffoons in the past" -- is pretty much correct.

BTW, the reason I use "damned peculiar" instead of "rude" is that I'm a rude enough person -- speaking as objectively as I can -- that I don't tend to judge others' behavior as rude. I'm not exactly offended by Bumbles' stated behavior (though I intellectually understand why others are), but genuinely bemused and fascinated by it. As i said earlier, as I would be if I entered a house for a game and was told they played in the nude.

 

[Herschel]

I think my annual trip to Red Lobster is about it.

I find it offensive that there are people who think Red Lobster is acceptable as a seafood restaurant.

I really don't drink any more. In fact, I've gone through long stretches where I haven't really imbibed even when I was a club DJ and some of the staff would sit around after close, most with a drink or two, and we'd shoot the breeze for a couple of hours until the drunks had a chance to hit Perkins/Denny's/Embers and clear off the roads. If someone wants a beer or glass of wine, more power to 'em. Just don't get carried away.

 

[MichaelK]

I think his basic premise -- "it's rude to refuse to enter a social environment because you don't trust the other attendees enough not to be buffoons, and you have no experience with these other attendees being buffoons in the past" -- is pretty much correct.

I myself find it equally rude to exert social pressure in order to force someone into an environment that they do not wish to be in. Whether their reasons are justified or not.

 

[catsclaw227]

I'd rather live with people misjudging me than going along with things I didn't enjoy, but rather found highly distressing. I spent far too long being unhappy to want to go back to that way of behavior. And Annie's Mailbox seems to agree with me in principle, even regards to the approval of one's own mother. Standing up for myself was hard, but I learned to do it.

Dude, I have no idea what you are talking about right now.

Is this still about not gaming because there might be beer and therefore someone might drink and therefore someone might get drunk and therefore your night will be ruined?

EDIT: And this, my friends was post #3000. Whoo Hoo! And it only took me almost 6 years to do it!

 

[Desdichado]

My take on it is- Bumbles, decline the invitations to game with those-who-might-drink; you are certainly within your rights. Especially if it comes out why you are declining, though, don't be surprised if you aren't invited anymore. The people-that-might-drink probably won't like it very much once they realize how harshly and unfairly you are judging them.

Indeed. I don't think anyone is claiming that he's not within his rights to set these limits on those with whom he associates, even the more extreme posters here so far. Rather, the discussion is on whether or not doing so is rude or socially acceptable.

I think it's telling that even other non-drinkers and non-smokers (like myself) find that abberent, rude, and a very quick turn-off towards any type of future association is pretty telling, but Bumbles can do with that as he pleases, of course.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

I myself find it equally rude to exert social pressure in order to force someone into an environment that they do not wish to be in. Whether their reasons are justified or not.

Okay ... ?

What "social pressure" is being exerted? And by whom?

Are you positing that inviting someone to dinner is "exerting social pressure" and therefore "rude"? Really?

How interesting.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

...As a host, I would no more expect a vegetarian guest to eat meat than I would a kosher Jewish guest to eat lobster; <snip>

Similarly, no guest should have alcohol forced on them and it's reasonable for someone to leave my home if someone has become drunk and they're uncomfortable. I'd personally consider it somewhat extraordinary if a guest left just because someone in my home was having a glass of wine; in that case I'd consider it (as Bumbles has said, I think) their issue and not my failure as a host, and I'd shrug and carry on without them.

That is pretty much my position as well.

I host a lot of get-togethers, with dietary considerations ranging from the religious proscriptions (Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or Catholics during Lent), to the medical (allergies, sodium-dependent hypertension, diabetes, alcoholism), to preferences (non-religious vegetarianism, well-done meats, Atkins diet) and so forth.

I make a concerted effort to have something for anyone in attendance, assuming I know of their requirements. I don't want anyone to feel they have to compromise their beliefs or requirements merely to have fun in my presence.

However, unless we are talking serious medical conditions- a person whose lethal allergy to peanuts or seafood precludes them from eating anything made in the same kitchen as those foods (and they do exist)- I wouldn't expect anyone to leave a party based upon someone consuming something they wouldn't.

Nor would I be insulted by their refusal to sample something offered...for ANY reason.

If one or the other drives you away...well, that's your problem, not mine.

 

[Dodavehu]

Sorry to hijack this thread for a second, but this looks like the perfect time and place to share a story that I've been looking for an excuse to tell for a while.

I run a pretty serious game that my roommate (among other people) play. Said roommate occationally will drink what he has in the fridge during games. A few sessions ago he drank a few and at a rather tense moment put a bottle of High Life on his forehead and shouted, "I'm a beericorn! Clipity-clop! Clipity-clop!"

I just about died.

(Maybe you had to be there.)

We told him he should probably stop drinking for the night after that .
--

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

A few sessions ago he drank a few and at a rather tense moment put a bottle of High Life on his forehead and shouted, "I'm a beericorn! Clipity-clop! Clipity-clop!"

I'm currently DMing, but I'm yoinking that for the next time I'm a player.

 

[Bumbles]

Dude, I have no idea what you are talking about right now.

Basically, it's about the question of life and how to live it. Anymore clarification I'll forgo, as it would be going widely off-topic.