Women venting about men

[freebfrost]

Hmmm. Not to be difficult, but how do you *know* they are women? On the internet, the only thing we know about people is what they choose to tell us. And because we don't know the people in the first place, we have no real reason to believe what they tell us.

For example, am I a woman? Or a man? White? Black? Asian? Young? Old? You really have no way of knowing.

Just a thought.

I'd say you were a thirty-something Canadian male who thinks too much about Aquaman.

But that could be your secret enWorld cover story too. Drat!

 

[GlassJaw]

Why do men endanger their relationships by not talking about things that are bothering their women?

- Huh huh huh, feelings.
- Yeah, yeah. Uhh, feelings like suck and stuff.
- Oh yeah, huh huh huh.



That's a gross over simplification but you get my point.

 

[cuteasaurus]

Hmmm. Not to be difficult, but how do you *know* they are women? On the internet, the only thing we know about people is what they choose to tell us. And because we don't know the people in the first place, we have no real reason to believe what they tell us.

For example, am I a woman? Or a man? White? Black? Asian? Young? Old? You really have no way of knowing.

Just a thought.

I wouldn't lie... *insert angelic face here*

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I don't have any specific gripes I guess, though that perhaps is due to the fact that my SO is also "on the boards..."

Chicken! *Bok! Bok!*

 

[reveal]

Here's my experience:

When my wife and I want to talk, we listen to each other. No matter what we say, we listen. My wife might care less what I'm babbling about, but she still listens and vice versa. If a guy "shuts down" when his wife starts talking to him about what she thinks is important, that's bad because, to me, it shows a lack of respect. It the girl doesn't listen to his "war stories" simply because she finds them uninteresting, that also shows a lack of respect.

For example, my wife is really getting into exercise and is talking about training for a "sprint" triathalon happening in August 2006. I love her and will support her. But when she tells me about the little details, I honestly could care less. But it's important to her, ergo, it's important to me and I listen.

OTOH, I am participating in Ceramic DM right now. My wife may not care about why I wrote the stories the way I did but she still takes the time to listen to me and reads my stuff not because she "loves my stories and can't get enough" but because it's important to me, ergo, it's important to her.

 

[Hijinks]

You aren't really asking us to *talk* about having another baby - you want us to empathize with your current feelings on the topic, whereas we go off and think about it, then will give you our list of pro's and con's for the whole thing. But you really didn't want that, did you?

Um, yeah, actually I DO want a list of pros and cons about what HE thinks about the topic, and what HE feels would be the right solution. I'll say what I think, and I'll listen to what he thinks. I don't want him to just smile and nod and say "whatever you think is right, honey." If it's a serious relationship issue, I want his input, not just his ear.

 

[cuteasaurus]

Chicken! *Bok! Bok!*

I guess he is half-way across the country...let the complaining begin! J/K...I actually don't really have that many gripes, though the more "universal" problem I have with guys is actually the "laid-back attitude." Ok, let me explain... I'm a pretty high strung person (I can hear ppl who know me laughing ) because I tend to worry about a lot of things. I like to plan ahead and know where things are going. My SO is always telling me to "not worry so much." Ok, that's fine, perhaps even good advice. But, it seems that the alternative these boys are advocating is actually not worrying about anything. They'll just say "things will work out." Yes, I'm sure they will, but I'd rather not be caught unprepared and sometimes that little bit of worry will get you going and help you get things done...yknow? I'm not being ridiculous for worrying and planning and while I could probably worry a little less, to say that worrying isn't useful seems silly.

A general boy gripe (not one for my SO)- that "successful" guys only want to date younger, less intelligent women. For example, I go to a somewhat prominent med school and there were numerous sketches over orientation weekend about how saying you go there will help you get chicks if you're a guy. However, if you're a woman, then saying you go there actually can help drive away guys. I don't get it. Wouldn't you (if you were a guy) WANT to date someone who understands what you're saying?

 

[cuteasaurus]

Um, yeah, actually I DO want a list of pros and cons about what HE thinks about the topic, and what HE feels would be the right solution. I'll say what I think, and I'll listen to what he thinks. I don't want him to just smile and nod and say "whatever you think is right, honey." If it's a serious relationship issue, I want his input, not just his ear.

ditto...well-said.

 

[reveal]

Um, yeah, actually I DO want a list of pros and cons about what HE thinks about the topic, and what HE feels would be the right solution. I'll say what I think, and I'll listen to what he thinks. I don't want him to just smile and nod and say "whatever you think is right, honey." If it's a serious relationship issue, I want his input, not just his ear.

When my wife wanted to talk about having a baby, I kept saying "Not now. Let's talk about it later." I was scared witless to have a kid, much less talk about it. I finally broke through my fears, however, and we discussed it. We now have a 3 year old son whom I adore.

The point is, just because he's not talking it doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk. It may just be that he's scared and doesn't feel he's ready. But us men have a lot harder time verbalizing our feelings than women seem to.

 

[Abstraction]

Men are not allowed to tell the truth to women. I know, I want to. But when I'm sitting there lost in thought and you say, "Whatcha thinking about?" I just about guarantee that you will not be happy if I tell the truth. You want to know what I've really been thinking about for the last ten minutes? Kung fu.