Women venting about men

[reveal]

Men are not allowed to tell the truth to women. I know, I want to. But when I'm sitting there lost in thought and you say, "Whatcha thinking about?" I just about guarantee that you will not be happy if I tell the truth. You want to know what I've really been thinking about for the last ten minutes? Kung fu.

I'm picturing the scene in the Simpsons where Homer learns that Troy McClure doesn't really want to marry Selma. During the ceremony, it's asked if anyone has any objections. The camera pans the crowd and focuses in on Homer, who's singing the Garry Glitter song "Da da da da da HEY da da da da" to himself.

 

[Abstraction]

Another guy thing. We think things through rationally. We don't analyze further than we rationally have to. So, if you ask me which dress you should wear, but I know you well enough that whatever I pick you'll pick something different, I'll say, "whatever you want, dear". Same with which movie to see, which restaurant to eat at, whether we should have kids. Or, put another way, when I know that I care about my own opinion less than you care about yours. Sure, I would prefer to go eat at X, but I am just as happy going where you want to, so I simply say, "whatever you decide is fine".

Men also look at what they are doing right now. Women tend to worry about many things which may or may not happen constantly. A man's attitude is that, yes I know we are short on money for the month, but the thing I am doing right now is rewiring the stereo. I will take care of the money when that is what I am doing right now.

By the way, cuteasaurus, a gripe of guys is that young, pretty women only want to date successful guys. The stereotypes cut both ways.

 

[Seonaid]

Are gay men allowed to comment here?

 

[reveal]

Are gay men allowed to comment here?

I didn't start the thread, but I welcome any comments here.

 

[Hijinks]

Yeah it doesn't help when I hear women rappers on the radio rapping about "bling bling" and "get your hands on his cash" and all that. Pfft. Those women definitely give men the wrong idea.

Sadly, one thing I've learned about men from past relationships is to never live together until marriage. I was left financially destitute by a man who decided on the entire spur of the moment that he wasn't happy in the relationship. Of course, when another woman that you just met is saying "hey, dump her and go out with me," then men seem to evaluate their relationship anew, whereas if there isn't another woman there to tempt them, they don't consider leaving.

Of course, now I would never let myself be left financially destitute by a man, because no matter what I'd always make sure I had 3 months of living expenses in the bank. But at the time, I trusted him when he said he would honor our lease, even if we broke up (he didn't) and would help me find a new place if we did break up (he didn't do that either). But I will never ever live with a man again without the financial security of a ring on my finger. And I would never recommend to another woman to move in with a man without being married, because, in my own past experience, men find it much easier to throw away a relationship if there's no marriage involved.

I realize that men internalize feelings, and if a relationship breaks up, it's probably because the man's been thinking he's unhappy for a while but didn't want to speak up until he had another place (or another woman) to go to. But to us women, many times when the relationship sours, it's out of the blue, and we have no idea what we did wrong.

It's a vicious cycle. Frequently, women get baggage and emotional issues because men they were previously with dump them for no reason that they can see. Then in their next relationship, the women become clingy and desperately want to keep ahold of their man, which drives him away even quicker. It's just a vast difference between men and women.

 

[freebfrost]

Um, yeah, actually I DO want a list of pros and cons about what HE thinks about the topic, and what HE feels would be the right solution. I'll say what I think, and I'll listen to what he thinks. I don't want him to just smile and nod and say "whatever you think is right, honey." If it's a serious relationship issue, I want his input, not just his ear.

I never said we'd tell you what we feel at this point, just that we'd likely have a list of logical ideas on the subject. Your statement is a perfect example of women not understanding or listening to men. You projected your own ideas of us discussing our "feelings" into the discussion when I never said that.

And that's my point.

It takes far longer for us to process how we feel on a subject. We have to analyze it to death and then make "the right decision," which is a fancy way of saying what we think is most likely to cause us the least amount of trouble amongst the choices provided.

 

[Seonaid]

Well, I'm not gay and I'm not a man, but I was curious.

Personally, I would much rather discuss pros and cons than feelings and rationalize instead of go on how I feel. I am deathly afraid of commitment and don't like to even talk about it or use the "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" and "significant other" terms. I've never been on a "date," nor have I had a "boyfriend" or "significant other." I don't empathize well (though I'm told I listen well, so maybe I do empathize). I don't stress about things over which I have no control. I'd rather watch football (or do anything, really) than shop. I am completely color-uncoordinated (it's pretty much luck and listening to what others tell me that gets me dressed appropriately in the mornings). All in all, I don't really understand women.

 

[freebfrost]

Yeah it doesn't help when I hear women rappers on the radio rapping about "bling bling" and "get your hands on his cash" and all that. Pfft. Those women definitely give men the wrong idea.

Sadly, one thing I've learned about men from past relationships is to never live together until marriage. I was left financially destitute by a man who decided on the entire spur of the moment that he wasn't happy in the relationship.

We call these "jerks."

But I will never ever live with a man again without the financial security of a ring on my finger. And I would never recommend to another woman to move in with a man without being married, because, in my own past experience, men find it much easier to throw away a relationship if there's no marriage involved.

If you marry one of the jerks, it won't matter whether you are married or not.

And its most certainly not fair to lump all men into this mindset because of your experiences on the subject. If I ever faced having to remarry, I would be on the other end of the spectrum, and wouldn't consider any woman who didn't want to move in together first. In my experience the lessons learned tell you if you are ready for a life together or not. But I'm not going to lump all women together because of my viewpoint.

I realize that men internalize feelings, and if a relationship breaks up, it's probably because the man's been thinking he's unhappy for a while but didn't want to speak up until he had another place (or another woman) to go to. But to us women, many times when the relationship sours, it's out of the blue, and we have no idea what we did wrong.

So you have no idea why the above-mentioned jerk left you? I find that hard to believe.

Was it sex, money, nagging, or not paying him enough attention? Because it is one of those reasons.

Men are *not* complex beings. :\

 

[sniffles]

Despite my call for women to rant about men, I have nothing to rant about. My fiancee and my male friends are all atypical examples of masculinity. They do not like sports. They are not afraid to cry. They watch "chick" movies with their wives and don't complain about it afterward.

The only thing I can think of to complain about at the moment is why they are all so much better at video games than I am.

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

Hmmm. Not to be difficult, but how do you *know* they are women?

Ahh cause I've seen Lady Shatterstone naked?