And here's another bit on Cedric. Same caveats as before, of course
Through the eyes of others, pt.3
Shikuna asked, "So the messages have all been sent out?"
"Yes, Father," said Magnus. "I doubt, however, that any of them will be delivered - and answered - before tomorrow at the earliest."
The old priest sighed and said, "That, alas, we cannot do anything about. But you have done well. Go and rest now."
The younger man turned towards the door, and then hesitated, as Shikuna had known he would. Magnus turned back and said, a little diffidently, "Pardon me, Father, but if you would allow it - I have a question..."
"About Cedric," completed Shikuna.
Magnus reddened, but continued. "Yes, Father."
"Sit down," said the old man, thinking inwardly,
This will take a while, but better now than later. Once Magnus had taken a seat, Shikuna leaned forward and said, "Something bothers you. Tell me what it is."
Magnus cast about for a way to begin and then burst out, "Everything! You sent me to deliver a message to someone who I'd always been told was a hero, an icon of the Order! And I find a ... a ..."
"...foul-mouthed drunkard and lecher?" finished Shikuna.
"YES!!" Magnus was almost shouting in his confusion. "How ... I mean ... why does the Order allow this...
blasphemy?!" Realizing a little too late how loud he was, Magnus came to a halt.
Shikuna waited while the excited youth took a deep breath to calm himself, and then said quietly, "You think we should strip Cedric of his paladinhood? Even though the choosing is done by the High Lord himself?"
Magnus stared for moment, before saying, a little lamely, "No, I did not mean ... well ... but he is breaking every tenet of the Order. Isn't he?"
You were right, Cedric, thought Shikuna.
You will only show them, but I will have to do the teaching. "Well, let's see now," he said. "What do the Tenets say about alcohol?"
Magnus recited like a schoolboy, "Thou shalt not allow alcohol to impair thy judgement."
"Good. Did Cedric seem like his judgement and capability was impaired?"
"Well, no. But what about..."
"And what do the Tenets say about visiting prostitutes?"
"Huh?" There was a pause, and then Magnus said a little more slowly, "Well, they do not mention it...."
"And what about swearing? Remember a Tenet about it?" pushed Shikuna.
"No-oo," said Magnus, even more slowly than before. He paused for a moment, evidently thinking very quickly. "But no priest of the Order that I have met actually does..."
"...any of that. True. Perhaps later you can take time to think about why that is so. But for now, you think that it is wrong for a paladin to do so?"
"Yes!"
"Very well. Tell me, warrior of the Order, what is a paladin?"
Again, as if repeating a catechism, Magnus recited, "A paladin is the greatest servant of the High Lord. The compassion to pursue good, the will to uphold law, and the power to defeat evil - these are the weapons of the paladin. The paladin is the upholder of the Code. The paladin stands on the edge, between the light and the darkness, and he does not yield. The paladin sees with the eyes of the spirit, not of the flesh."
"Good," said Shikuna, picking his moment to interrupt. "With what eyes did you see Cedric, Magnus?"
"Huh?" said Magnus, caught off-guard.
"That's all right," said Shikuna, waving a hand. "Now let me tell you a little about paladins. As they say in the tales, once upon a time..."
And Shikuna told Magnus the stories...
... about a young man, full of righteousness and zeal just as Magnus was, who served in the ranks of the Order and rose to the rank of paladin, vowing his life to the service of the High Lord.
... about the man who singlehandedly led a force of peasants to victory over a superior army of monsters, and returned to their village to find it gutted, with everyone in it killed, raped, and eaten.
... about the man who sat alone in a room for three days, without food or water, and who emerged to say that now that he had "had words with the High Lord",
now he understood, to cast aside his shining armor and gleaming trappings, to embrace what he said was "the soul and center" of paladinhood and the Order.
... about the high priest of the Order, who commanded that the Tenets of the High Lord be modified so as to be able to cast out an "inappropriate influence" from the Order, and who awoke the next morning stripped of his clerical powers.
... about the man who singlehandedly slew three blackguards, gave them the last rites, buried them, and wept over their graves, because that is what he might have been.
... about the man who walked and laughed and drank among the hungry and outnumbered soldiers of the Third Army, while the generals slept in their silk tents, before helping them to victory at the Battle of Atin.
... about the man who, when asked what was the most important thing that a paladin should remember, said, "That he is a human being."
... about the man who alternately walked and crawled on a broken leg for three days, carrying a wounded comrade, because he was "too pissed off to meet the High Lord right now."
It was over an hour later when Shikuna paused, more due to hoarseness than anything else. Magnus looked perhaps even more tired than the old man.
"And that was Cedric?" said the young man, hesitantly.
"Yes," said Shikuna. "There is much more I could tell you about him, but I will end with one tale."
And Shikuna told Magnus a tale which had nothing to do with heroism and war, with glory and purity. He told a tale* of Cedric sitting up all night in a peasant hovel with a dying old man, taking away such pain as he could, soothing away his terror, seeing him safely on his way ... and then cleaning him up, laying him out, making him neat for the funeral, helping the weeping widow to strip the bed and wash the sheets, staying with her the whole day and up the next night to watch over the coffin and officiating at the funeral ... and then going home and sitting down for five minutes, before some shouting man comes banging on the door, angry because he doesn't open the door quick enough, complaining that his wife's giving birth to his first child and the midwife's having trouble ... and Cedric smiling at the man and accompanying him without a word.
"That," said Shikuna, "Is the root and heart and soul and center of paladinhood. The soul and the center."
"So," said Magnus quietly, "You think I should do as he does?"
"Hah!" laughed Shikuna explosively. "No," he said, with a smile. "I do not think there is one among us - or among the paladins of the world, whether of our Order or any other - who could do what he does and fail to slip over. Not even you, young Magnus."
Magnus blushed at the comment, but Shikuna went on, almost as if talking to himself. "You were right. The paladin does stand on the edge between light and darkness, but every paladin besides Cedric faces into the light. He looks over the edge into the darkness. Every moment of every day, he watches the dark, and he watches the dark watch him, and he walks the edge between the two. He is one of the few - the very few - whom the High Lord blesses with true sight and understanding, and that is as much of a curse as a gift." The old man's voice was thick with mingled fascination and pity as he finished.
Shikuna shook himself and then leaned over to pat Magnus on the shoulder. "But that is enough for now. You need to go and rest, and so do I. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you some more."
"I would like that," said Magnus as he rose to his feet and made a formal bow to the priest. "Thank you, father - for everything."
"You are always welcome," said Shikuna, and watched as the young man slowly walked out of the room.
Hopefully, there goes someone who will never trust only his eyes again.
As he rose slowly to his own feet, he thought,
You are right, Cedric - you exist as a lesson to us all. And only the High Lord knows exactly what the lesson is.
* If you think you recognize that section from Terry Pratchett's
A Hat Full of Sky, you're right. My little homage to the master.