I don't play a tactical skirmish game either. If you're interested, I say something about this in posts 262 and 278 on the "Is D&D about combat?" thread.I have noticed that we approach the game differently so we often don't agree on things. We have different styles of play.
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I play DnD for the role playing aspect. I don't want to play a tactical miniatures wargame. I like the aspect of having a character and seeing the characters develop and as a DM I like seeing my players develop their characters.
What that means to me is not just seeing it mechanically though that is part of it but seeing their personalities develop.
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I play with a guy who always has his character carry pepper because once he had found some in a treasure room and it saved his life with a dragon. But I secretly roll my eyes now on it because it is boring and predictable. Yes it can be a good tactic but why would every character from halfling rogue, barbarian orc fighter to dwarven scout have it.
Metagaming encourages this kind of play imo. The more you play the more it seems to be a trap of falling into certain standard operating procedures.
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I do like a little realism in my game so in real life a marine with 20 years in the field is going to be able to handle combat better then a new fresh out of bootcamp marine. But neither should be able to handle a fall better
I don't think metagaming is at odds with roleplaying per se - the discussion of character building and setting/situation design in Burning Wheel (esp the new Adventure Burning) is close to the general sort of approach I like. The pepper thing I agree would be lame - happily, 4e's mechanics deal with this sort of issue fairly well.
As for the falling issue - doesn't a higher level PC have the benefit of more luck and divine grace? Which is why s/he can survive the fall?