Online Harassment through Emails and Private Message: You're killing your hobby

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Jabborwacky

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Yesterday, I came to the forums after having played a wonderful AL game with a father and his daughter to seek some help working through a few confusingly jumbled issues. I was a bit confused on how to present that information, as there were several subtle nuances to the subject that I didn't hammer out until long after the fact, but by then I was even more confused by the thread's hijackers. Unfortunately, it turned into a rare situation where the window of opportunity to clarify what I was asking had closed.

Today, I have decided to cancel my plan to introduce my two young nieces to the hobby. I simply cannot, in good conscience, subject any child to the potential threat of being harassed online in the way I was last night. I cannot be certain of whether it was by pure coincidence or not, but the timing of the harassing email in respect to the private message and thread explosion were too close together for me to remove the possibility of them being connected.

I had originally thought of posting a video to allow those on the forums to see the kind of damage you have done emotionally and mentally to me. I decided against it simply because it is probably giving you what you want. It is not the private message, the email, or the sometimes terrible things people were calling me in the thread. It is what you have done to my hobby. I firmly believed that roleplaying games are a window for personal growth as much as a fun way to spend time with other people. By stepping into a character in another universe, we are presented with a unique opportunity for personal growth.

Again, I am angry because you have now morally restrained me from ever introducing a new generation of people to the hobby. You undermined the countless hours of work the people designing 5e spent to create a fun, collective experience by moving the D&D one step closer to extinction. Moreover, you are symptomatic of a problem that has ruined the lives of countless young people.

What a waste...
 

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Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
[MENTION=98608]Jabborwacky[/MENTION], are you saying that an EN World member has been harassing you via the private messaging system? If so, please, please message me with the details so that I can deal with it. Harassment is not tolerated here.
 

Celebrim

Legend
Wait... what?

You are saying some EnWorlders sent you abusive messages? Every so often I get a profanity laden rant by someone too cowardly to do it in public, but it's never happened here despite all the occasionally bruised egos and short tempers.

Abusive in what way? I mean, I generally laugh and round file it when someone vents at me like that, but was this threatening or something?

It seems a bit much and perhaps a bit of an overreaction to say that you are now going to not introduce your nieces to the hobby because of this. Perhaps think about that after you've had a chance too cool off. Any person (see the teasing of the new WoTC CEO in his thread), and particularly any young woman, is going to need asbestos armor to get through life. It's not a problem exclusive to our hobby, or IMO even particular to our hobby. The solution IMO is not to avoid introducing them to the hobby, but to equip them with the armor and strength to face those sorts of cowards and bullies.
 

xanstin

Explorer
Seeing this kind of stuff is unfortunate for everyone in the community as it stifles growth of the hobby. Hopefully this gets resolved.


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cmad1977

Hero
Stunned that people here on this website would behave in such a way towards women and children. Stunned I say.

Another day where the gaming community disappoints me.


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Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
[MENTION=98608]Jabborwacky[/MENTION], I've just looked through all the threads you've posted in recently. I can't find anybody calling you anything anywhere, especially anything terrible. Would you please contact me and fill me in on the details? Whoever this is who is harassing you, we need to deal with them.
 

kalani

First Post
@Jabborwacky
I am sorry to hear that someone has been harassing you in private. While you were misinformed as to how organized play functions (esp. in regard to the use of house rules as part of a character concept), I did not think that you were out of line in anything you had posted in that thread. I just simply wanted to clarify that character concepts do not overshadow the rules of an OP program. There is never an excuse for harassing or threatening posts or emails.

Yes, many people (myself included) misunderstood your posts (at least until after you responded to my post), but still - please try not to assume that the actions of one individual speak for everyone. While your posts came across as an attempt to force a DM to use a house-rule that you had built your character around (which you later clarified was simply a misunderstanding on your part), that in and of itself is no excuse for harassment.

While Morrus is more than capable of handling things on his end, I think I speak for all the AL campaign staff when I extend my sincere apologies for how you were mistreated. You are right that the timing of the harassment implies it is somehow linked to the aforementioned thread. I strongly recommend you forward a copy of the harassing email, along with a cover letter to Robert Adducci @ community@dndadventurersleague.org.

This is despicable, and there is no excuse for such bad behavior on anyone's part. I am sorry this has happened to you.
 
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Pauper

That guy, who does that thing.
Allow me to echo Kalani's concern and apology -- harassment is a clear violation of the AL Code of Conduct, and someone who would violate that Code online would likely also violate it at a game table. I hope this is resolved effectively.

I'll also say that your concern for your daughters in a public gaming space is legitimate -- I live in the Twin Cities, which is known for being pretty progressive, and even here I can think of places I'd be loath to bring a young woman to introduce her to public D&D play. Not every store has a poisonous environment -- I'd heartily recommend The Source in St. Paul, where both the store organizer and our Regional Coordinator have helped create an environment that is open to women, transfolk, and other gendered and racial minorities. Not everyone has that option, but I encourage those who do have supportive local game stores to support them in return.

The good news is that I don't have to take someone to a game store to introduce them to D&D -- I can do so right in the privacy of my own apartment. There's a group I've been gaming with for over 25 years that's been mixed-gender from the beginning, and they've been extremely welcoming and helpful to my fiancee who is just starting out in gaming.

I honestly believe that the 'bad apples' in gaming are a significant minority; it would be disappointing if you left the hobby, and your daughters never got the chance to really experience it, due to these vociferous jerks. In the end, though, it's your call -- do what you think is best.

--
Pauper
 

kalani

First Post
I have since brought this issue up to the AL admins and regional coordinators, but I still encourage you to email Robert Adducci directly with your concerns.
 

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