Ovinomancer
No flips for you!
First, thanks for this post. It's a great example of trying to engage the concepts fairly but finding out that you just prefer a different set.That's a sturdy analysis.
I think there are some players (I'm one) who would experience hard, permanent, mechanical limitations on what their characters feel as dissonant (please don't bring charm spells and the like into this), to the point of feeling as though they had less agency--no matter what other kinds of agency they were gaining elsewhere in the game's mechanics. I think it's reasonable that my feelings about that ... shape my approach to GMing.
I'll agree that there aren't mechanical means for a DM in 5E to make characters feel things (outside the usual charm-spell exceptions), but I've found that a skilled DM can get the players to feel things--and I've found that works just as well, without the dissonance I mentioned above.
I have played games where players could do those sorts of things, and I've run them. I have found that I ended up not liking them as much as a player--mainly because they came with mechanics that imposed emotional/mental states on my character, leading to that dissonance; and some or the victories I achieved by rewriting the world felt ... cheap--or as a GM--my reluctance to generate the dissonance in my players' minds that I find so unpleasant makes me not the right person to GM those games, and I find it easier to keep the world consistent when I only have to remember what I've figured out, not what others have added.
Second, and this is by no means an encouragement to try again -- just an observation, the way you describe these things really says to me that you had a poor experience with them. By that, I mean that they were run or presented poorly. There's absolutely no reason that a game that features more narrative play and that puts at risk things about the character should feel like you're being forced to feel things. That's poor approach by the GM if it was happening. Perhaps the specific game was at fault, although I'm not sure.
Third, yes, absolutely, traditional GM-centered games can definitely engage the feels for the players. I've had those experiences myself. However, when I look at the times that's happened to me in good GM'd games (and it really only happens in very well GM'd games) I see that it's because that GM engaged the things I've indicated I care about already, or want to care about. This is the exact same way that other systems are supposed to work, and if you had a different experience -- ie, you were just told that your character cares about this now -- then you had a bad experience and I'm sorry (in general, for all poor RPG experiences for all systems).
Finally, and again, this isn't an encouragement to try again with a better GM. It's perfectly fine to have gotten a bad taste and not want to spend time or effort to risk just getting that same taste. I can't eat cherries because of an incident in kindergarten. It's entirely psychosomatic -- I enjoy cherries, but only when I don't know they're cherries. Knowing it's a cherry triggers an involuntary gag reflex. It's weird, but I totally get how a bad experience -- however that experience came about -- can throw you off trying a thing ever again.
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