I will say that if rule zero is stated as part of a game in the rules...you are implicitely agreeing to it if you join a session of that game. Now I do think it is fair and within your rights to understand what things that DM will use rule zero for as well as making it clear what application of it is a non-starter for you. To me that is a session zero discussion if it's a concern, but for most groups I've played with it isn't.
Implicit agreement is not agreement at all. Period.
Especially when it involves signing over nigh-absolute power. I completely agree that it should be a session zero discussion--a very big one, given its importance. I just find that a lot of people don't actually DO that.
I don't necessarily agree that the DM choosing to implement a change you don't like is grounds for your faith being shaken, again he is concerned with the most beneficial choice for the entire table vs. your personal preference. As an example if everyone at the table wants to play with feats in 5e except you and the DM decides to allow feats...is your faith shaken at that point. Putting it a different way...would you feel the same way if a decision you didn't agree with was enacted because the majority of the group wanted something you didn't... would your faith in the group be shaken at that point?
You're missing the forest for the trees.
The point isn't that, necessarily, any
single specific thing instantly and inherently does it. It's that, at the point where you-as-DM are
invoking Rule Zero to tell someone why they
need to agree with you...you've already lost their trust. That's literally
why you'd be invoking Rule Zero to them. You'd have no other reason to do so--because if they're going along with it (even if they're grumbling), it's because the trust is still there.
Until the trust is lost, there's no need to invoke Rule Zero. Once it
is lost, invoking it is useless--you must rebuild that trust. At which point, you no longer need to invoke Rule Zero! So...what exactly is Rule Zero doing?
See above. Also, I think that if you don't believe a DM is making majority (because no one is perfect) of their choices around rule zero in order to benefit the group as a whole (as opposed to your personal preferences) you shouldn't play games run by them. Of course if everyone else is having a good time and you are the only one who isn't... it may not be that their choices were bad.
What if it's only a few choices? What if it's a single choice that will keep coming up repeatedly? What if I believe the DM is doing it because
they think it's for the benefit of the group, but I think that thing is detrimental to the group? Fudging is a great example here. I don't want to launch into a huge discussion about it so
please for the love of God don't, but I bring it up because it is, at the very least,
intensely controversial with some players....and something that many DMs will straight-up lie to their players about whether they do it. Even otherwise excellent DMs, like Matt Colville do this. He literally put out a video about fudging wherein he explicitly says that he has
pre-rolled dice so that, if his players question him, he can lift the DM screen and show players that he "really did" roll whatever he says he rolled. Etc.
I can like and agree with someone on 95% of the choices they make, but if the 5% of choices I disagree with are really really REALLY important choices, it can easily be a serious problem. "Majority" is not enough in this context.
No it's not. Rule zero is not a gag order that silences all discussion and opposition. Rule zero says the final determination is in the hands of this particular individual. That's all.
Sure it is. That's why there's this obsession with having a single, central, Hobbesian authority--so that one person can tell everyone else what they're going to do, and if they don't like that, they can leave. As you yourself just said! Rule Zero straight-up says, "The rules are the DM's plaything." Can't say that that puts me in a trusting mood any more than someone saying, "You trust me to make all of the food for you while you're at my house, right? You won't try to make anything yourself?"
And again if you truly believe their decisions are not benefiting the group... why would you continue to play under them. Much more commonly I see a player whose personal preferences aren't catered to and they then assume that the group shares those preferences.
Many reasons. E.g. fudging, as noted above. Or the DM actually playing favorites (seen that one, it's a
hoot.) Or the DM failing to understand how probability works and thus screwing over players. Could be any number of things. Could be, as I said, I
almost always DO agree with them--that the majority of their decisions
are for the benefit of the group--but in that slim minority, they make such significant, important, impactful changes that I must dissent.
Of course, I usually avoid this by not playing with DMs who are so stridently insistent on being the one absolute authority and demanding deference via Rule Zero. That helps quite a bit in earning my trust in the first place.
well I've said it before... I'm not sure the way I run my games I am 100% traditional, I use what I want to create what I think will make a better game... so I may have a skewed perception of things like rule zero thought I doubt the majority of actual DM's are tyrants wielding an iron fist over their game and players.
I had a more...antagonistic response here originally. Having thought better of it, all I will say is, an insistence on Rule Zero is, in fact, one of the things that
weakens my trust in someone's use of authority. Being circumspect,
not declaring absolute authority,
not emphasizing that the rules are just suggestions, etc.--that's what earns my trust, if I don't know the DM personally.
My only mussing on this is... is it possible that in trying to compromise for everyone... no one really gets what they want but instead everyone kind of gets a secondary consolation prize for all.
"Compromise" implies at least one person is giving things up. That's why I didn't use that word. I look for consensus-building. Helping
everyone walk away happy. That's the whole point.
It's great that you listen and try to work towards what your players want... but my understanding as we've discussed this is that you are still the final authority of your game at the end of the day. Now maybe you follow certain best practices but it still sounds like you're a singular, but benevolent, authority figure.
And to me, this says that you've already presumed absolutely every game MUST, always, have one single central authority, and thus you'll find one, no matter how much twisting it requires.
There isn't a central authority at my games. I serve at my players' pleasure. My players listen to my requests and respond with their own. No single voice is dominant. Edit: If there is any central authority, it's the DW rules. Because I follow them.