Like to I say "oh your such a good player!" randomly? Or say "Wow, you sure did roll that d20 great!" randomly? Then no.
What about acknowledging when an idea or the execution of an idea was good, or particularly good? For players to continue to engage they need to recognize that their ideas (and which ideas) are resonating with the DM. It's not always obvious and letting them actually know works wonders.
The way I see it, it should be much more the player doing a bit of self reflection to figure out what THEY are doing wrong. And then change.
How do the players know to change if they get no feedback on what they are doing well or poorly?
You make it sound like the only feedback they get is that if they survived then they're doing alright.
And you expect the players to self reflect and change "to be better ...." But are completely unwilling to reflect and possibly change to meet them? That's a tough sell.
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