Have you read the 1e rules? Gygax contradicts himself all over the place. DMs should do X! And in another spot DMs should never do X! Where X is the same thing.
Yes...
And what I'm saying is, when the text does that, it is not that you are suddenly furnished with infinite possibilities.
It is that you are now in a
hole you have to
dig yourself out of, because not only have the rules
not helped you in any way, they've actually
held you back. You have to first extricate yourself from them, and then invent something
from whole cloth to replace it.
That's not sudden freedom. That's being dropped on a desert island with palm trees, and told to figure out your own way. You're going to have to figure out how to construct a boat
without tools before you can even attempt to go anywhere else.
Because your description in that post was itself a False Equivalence, because that's not how the term "Leader" was being used. You were trying to change what "Leader" meant, so I ignored that attempt and actually responded to "Leader" as it was being used in the discussion.
Person 1: "It's horrible to be left behind by the party."
Person 2: "Being left behind isn't that bad, because you can just track the party and rejoin it later."
Person 1: " Being left behind is abandonment and that doesn't feel good."
You: "Maybe the party just went left at the intersection. Why is that bad?"
Me: "It's bad because being abandoned is emotionally harmful."
You: "False Equivalence! That's not what I said."
In 4e leaders direct others, pushing and pulling them, as well as giving other bonuses that represent the other PC doing as the leader directs.
Commander's Strike: "With a should, you command an ally to attack."
Furious Smash: "You slam your shield into your enemy, bash him with your weapon’s haft, or drive your shoulder into his gut. Your attack doesn’t do much damage—but your anger inspires your ally to match your ferocity."
Wolf Pack Tactics: "Step by step, you and your friends surround the enemy."
And on and on.
These are all examples of the leader directing the play of others. In some cases it can be ignored. In others the other PC has no choice but to do as the leader wishes.
And
you yourself are also trying to control what "leader" means.
You are inserting your own control. So was Lanefan. You aren't somehow correcting for that.
And I'm sorry, if you think someone else getting a feature that helps you do something is, in any way, them
taking your character away from you, then yes, I 110% believe you are antagonistic to the very concept of teamwork. Never ever even having the tiniest bit of "someone else was involved in doing it" is frankly so silly, I would have thought it a caricature if you had not just done that yourself. You are, quite literally, saying that if anyone EVER helps you achieve things, they're taking your character away from you. Do you not see how utterly ridiculous that sounds?