Unearthed Arcana has Bob Vila-ed my This Old House Rules

As I was reading Unearthed Arcana today, I got this image of Bob Vila wandering around in my campaigns mechanics...

Bob: Ok, over here we are taking out the old 1980's vintage style hit point system and installing a 21st century Vitality and Wound point system... Now a customisation that is almost needed with the VP/WP system is the installation of a knockout mechanic... Tommy's fixing this up and it should be done in a few minutes... Hows that going Tommy?

Tommy: Just great, we are basing the knockout mechanic on Flat Fotted characters and a fort save, that way the fighters can have some fun too in those tavern brawls.

Bob: Great, now lets go over here and take a look at the magic system... Here Susan is adding a little to the Metamagic system of the rules. Susan what are you you doing here?

Susan: Well Bob, As you know the metamagic feat system allows players and GMs alike to customise the spells a little. Well, we are here add Metamagic Componenets.

Bob: Metamagic Components? So like better more expensive spell components?

Susan: Exactly, now players (and DMs) can have thier characters use these and not have to use higher level spell slots. While it does sort of cost more, it allows for much more versatility in the game.

Bob: Thats just great Susan. You keep working on that, and when we come back we are going to take a look at how you can better improve your game witha a really powerful tool called incantations...

Anyways, you guys get the picture... feel free to add...

Aaron.

This thread has inspired me to do a little Photoshopping...

Martha Stewart-esque:

Martha: "Hi there. Welcome back. Today we're going to be making variant class features, to serve with the new classes we served last week. Here, we have your typical druid, just like you can find out in your local forest or jungle, anywhere that green plants and animals can be found. Now, your normal druid has Wild Shape, which can be a great asset to any party arrangement, but some poeople prefer a more primal druid, in touch with nature's energies instead of the natural beasts. If you take out your druid's Wild Shape, and insert a little bit of Aspects of Nature, you can have a druid who is excellent at representing natural energies. I have a finished version here, who also uses druid domains as garnish, and I've taken out the animal companion, to allow it to stand on it's own as the centerpeice of a naturalistic composition to my party. Mmm, that's nice."

Or as in the Fab Five/Trading Spaces/etc.:

Interior Desginer: "Okay, we've got some great energy going through this magic system here, the whole preperation/expending thing really screams *you,* you know? It's classic, it's great, we all know it and love it. But you said you wanted to shake things up a little, be less traditional, so what I've done here is opened it all up with something called Spell Points. Now, this is a little extreme, not everyone is into this, but I thought, here you are, an edgy, city-going spellcaster, we can open this baby right up."

Mook: "Wow, yeah! It looks great! I'm a little intimidated..."

Designer: "Well, that's to be expected, but don't worry, it's quite balanced. It'll look especially good with these new bloodlines Thom got you, really giving you a feeling that your power is coming from what you are, not something templated onto your character. Now let's take you over to one of Richard's favorite spots, a little place called Fatigue Spellcasting, I think you'll be really psyched about it..."


Hahahahahahaaha, I love it!

Crap! Is the book out yet? When did it hit the streets?

This is a great thread. Very funny.

I love the Photoshopped stuff, Dark Jezter.

Great work!