Handsome Jack- A no-good scallywag. A dishonest, lying dog lacking in sense, morality or common decency. A swindler, rogue, and villain. A sometimes blackguard, sometimes heel, and often crook. A ne'er-do-well no matter how many chances you give him. A charlatan of heart. A scalawag of sense. A rapscallion who lacks the brains to understand when his presence is neither sought nor welcome. A trickster who must never be trusted. A scoundrel of the lowest sort. A reprobate without shame or equal. An arrogant deviant who isn't at all the athletically, physically becoming sight he and many easily fooled women think he is. Captain Crawford also hates his stupidly perfect teeth and his stupidly perfect smile