Hi guys. I'm a 33 year old dork who's played 5E for 7~8 years, a bit of 3.5 in high school, and a mix of other TT systems here and there (Shadowdark, Lancer, Kids on bikes, PF2, ect...). I know I'm too young to be a true grognard but I feel the label applies to me more and more every day haha. I wanted this thread to be a respectful attempt to ask a few questions and grumble a bit. Any engagement I get here I appreciate as I've been feeling a bit lost on the whole TTRPG scene for a while. I'll try to get back to everyone.
The big things I wanted to hit on why has the traditional adventure/game seemed to have been replaced? Why the weird weird mixed feelings on Thirdparty/homebrew content? Why is the current online recruiting spots (reddit, Startplaying) so... bad? Why are modern players so bad at the game and the seeming want to remove the G from RPG?
I grew up reading Dragonlance, Dragon riders of Pern and a bunch of fantasy. I grew up watching a bunch of shows like the DnD cartoon, Pirates of Blackwater, Masters of the Universe and more. Playing games like Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, and a ton of RPG's. The feeling and style of things I see people playing/running now feel so much different then those. I understand the idea of "oh it's the same you're just not in the hip stuff anymore" but I disagree. There have been modern shows like Goblin slayer, Dungeon Meshi, Frieren, and even Made in Abyss (a bit of a stretch) that still evoke those feelings...vibes...themes... I'm not sure the way to properly explain it. The best way I can describe it is that it has the DNA of the type of fantasy I grew up enjoying. So many games I see posted are more or less giving away the whole plot like reading the back of a book. The art of subtly is lost and seems very much like the DM has a story they want to tell, if your lucky your characters will have their backstory factor in. On that point so many of the written adventures still have a good start to all of them. "You all start in the city of {Blank} here's some info on it, have some backstory on why your there and it's that of an person willing to take on dangerous jobs", it's the start of Lost Mine and others. It's perfect. I'm not the biggest fan of how written adventures play, I do like some more then others, as they feel so... weird to me where there's little to no downtime and room to breath. In most of them at least. I've always heard that a good DM will take one of those modules and fully make it their own.
My two favorite games were both Lost Mine games. One fully reworked into a western and were were dealing with the railroad company and a blue dragon calling our paladin out to dual at high noon knowing that his oath wouldn't let him back out of a challenge. Also the first game of 5E I played. I played a dragonborn monk with the dragon subclass that just came out. I made a backstory where the master of my temple was a Brass dragon who hoarded people instead of gold, making a tight nit community. When we fought the green dragon in Thundertree it got in a good advantage against us because the DM played me like a fiddle using my backstory as a string the dragon lead me along with. The fight ended with me going down and it being a pretty big coinflip on if the Dragon would win vs the rest of the party or they would pull out a win. It grabbed me and flew off, stabilizing me mid air. The party did a full hard march after the dragon deep into the woods but it had a two hour advantage on them. The DM pulled me into a 1on1 call where the dragon interrogated me with the one cultist helping. I did my best to leave clues for the party to help them find us and close the gap. When we went back to the party I was muted and loving how hard they were trying, sadly coming up short on rolls due to exhaustion they got on the march. The DM then asked me to make a new character for our next session and I was hooked on this hobby. I've not had a moment that good in 8 years.
When the OGL situation started up I didn't know too much about a lot of the things outside of the base WotC releases. It opened my eyes to other designers like Kobold press, the DM's Guild site, Kickstarter books and many more. I was angry and thought I was doing good by supporting a bunch of creators making stuff. I have a folder on my computer that's over 20 GB of DnD books...AND I CAN'T USE ANY OF THEM! I don't understand why there seems to be such a hate for anything third-party of homebrew. It truly feels like if it isn't on DnDBeyond then it doesn't exist. I really steams me to see a book that's been out for 3~5 years get put on beyond and then it's suddenly an easier pill to swallow! To bring up a third party thing really feels like I'm flagging myself to a DM as a problem player...I've had DM's hold it against me before when I've push backed against them on anything "OH I let you have your weird dumb naughty word, I don't wanna hear anything from you!"... I don't Min-Max, I don't Multiclass. I feel it would be asking too much of a DM as the mechanic is opening the door for way to much stuff to break a game. I do like to make a strong character but that's more on using weapons/spells/stats that fit the theme and do work. Also I've heard forever that "flavor is free~" well... can I use this sub/class that feels better and flavor it as something that fits the setting? No? Cool... It makes me wonder why I even care... I think on this and the last point on maybe I just need to look at this OSR I hear about so much but have no solid idea what it is. Only to see old nerds yelling at each other about BRosr or OSR OSE and a bunch of stuff that is already difficult enough to understand without them making the whole thing seem like an internet turf war.
So I'm an online only Dnd player as I live in a small town where the two times I tried to drum up interest at my local hobby shop no one was interested. I've had very little success with any post for a game. On the DnD discord, Reddit, Startplaying... they all have let me down so much. Starting with startplaying... I'm going to shoot straight from the hip on this one. I hate paid DM's, I don't think this should be a thing that exists and the idea that some of these people make a living off it is angering. I have no problem with tipping my DM every now and then as a way to recreate the "I'm bringing the pizza's tonight guys" feeling. But when it's every session it does things that makes the relationship with them different. I've played with guys who were so full of themselves that they'll be the next "Matt Mercer", guys who sucked, guys who felt so corporate they were soulless. The times I've had fun longer then a few session in a pay game has to be less then 90%. When I've tried posting that I'm looking for a game and alright with paid games but have a budget the amount of DM's that message me with games x2-3 the price I'm ok with is the majority. I've learned not to play a paid game ever again, I just wish it was a lesson I learned without giving DM's and startplaying $2,000+ over years of games that stop and start... Reddit is a bit better but the games that seem like something I'd like are snapped up real quick, it's almost like you have to be on it 24/7 just to watch for the good games to get in the first 10 people going "pick me pick me".... The majority of games I see on there and discord are a split of something close to a traditional dnd game or it's some One Piece/Pokemon/JJK game... Also the Ghosting is crazy. If I don't make the cut for the game just say so. A "Thank you for your time but I went with some other players" doesn't hurt my feelings and frees me up to get back to looking.
I'm likely going to ruffle some feathers on this one. Why are so many games just posting the alphabet spellcasting all over them? I know the way I said that was a bit rude, but I don't understand it. We're here to play as elves, paladins, dragonborn ect. Who you wanna have sex with and what you are is the last thing on my mind. I've tried running a game few times (I burned out... I just can't DM) every time I look for players I'm blown away with some of the people I get! I have three questions I put upfront before just chatting with the potential players to see if they're a good fit. It used to be two but I had to start asking "Hey I want my table to be a safe place for everyone, are you able to remove modern politics and hang-ups at the door when you sit down at my virtual table?" The amount of times I've had people have a crash out on that stating anyone who disagrees with them or is even remotely right wing isn't a human being and worthy of death is over 10. I've never seen it the other way. I've played with gay guys and they're some of my favorite to play with, dudes are funny. This posting the alphabet on a game causes me to hesitate on even looking at a game because to me it should be something that is a default and not even asked. "Be cool to everyone". Having it on the post makes me think of the people who screamed at me for just asking "IF" they could play nice with everyone...
Last point I really wanna know... Why are so many players unable to read or think! I've played games with lovely people who have to learn their character every single week, taking anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes a turn. The worst instance I had was one that took 47 minutes... I left that game after that. It feels like people who don't know fantasy, don't know games, don't know how to read are everywhere. There's such a lacking of table etiquette and respect for everyone else at the table it's crazy! It's not just on the players, the dnd content creators are just as bad! I've seen guys say to "Not uses any books and just fully improv". I've seen guys talk about Ben Huffman's 5.5 Pugilist class saying "It's the hardest class in the game, I'd have trouble playing this!" while spellcasters exist. Warning: This next two sentences contains a lethal level of smug and condescension. I'm sorry that video games and other TT games have taught me how to have more then one brain cell firing at a time, but I feel you saying that should remove you from being able to drive a car or have offspring. DnD is NOT a hard game there is not a lot to track you have an action, bonus action, movement and reaction. It's not hard and yet the DM's pull the punches all the time because they either are afraid to kill a player or didn't think on the balance on an encounter and pull back out of fear. The latter is so wild to me where there are a bunch of sites like Kobold fight club and others where you can plug in the party's # and level to get an encounter of the difficulty you want. Its easier then ever both on the DM and the players yet feels watered down more and more.
I'll end it here. I've got 7 years worth of stories where It just is a mess with moments of fun. I keep coming back to thinking on my first 5E game and trying to find anything like that. It keeps me coming back. Out of the mountain of trainwrecks I've seen, I have to be honest in that I caused a few of them. I'm not a perfect guy. I just want to know where I should look for something more traditional, exp, downtime, all that good stuff. Because I know 5.5E support it, I just can't find it. The closest is in a West March server and while that's nice... I'm looking for just 3-4 other peeps to meet up regular instead of the drop in and out nature of a West March.
