D&D General I’m Trying to Love D&D Again—and I’ve Got Some Complaints. Young Grognard posting.

Clint_L said:

I can't imagine wanting to play the game alone; interacting with other people and all of their wonderful ideas is what makes it fun for me, precisely because they are different from my own. So your post reads as very sad to me. If playing the game in that way brings you joy, then bless, but it is hard for me to understand.

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To each their own.

Solo tabletop RPGs are big right now. Well, not as big as playing with others, but take a look at the Top 20 products on DriveThruRPG and DMsGuild. Lots of solo RPG products.

As a kid in the 80s who was so introverted that he couldn't find the confidence to ask his equally nerdy and introverted friends to play D&D with him . . . I loved the D&D solo modules that TSR put out back in the day. Some of my fondest memories.

Nowadays . . . I'm considering giving some solo RPGs a shot, to supplement my in-person game. I need more D&D!

Not everybody has a group they want to, or can, play with. Solo RPGs are a more sedate experience that booting up a computer game, and scratch the itch for some. It's not sad.

Clint_L said:

I've had Lanefan and some of his group to my house for a game of Dread. Lovely people, tremendous fun to game with. I recommend! Definitely no issues with my spouse's pronoun's (they/them), and I definitely think you are misreading Lanefan if you think he is expressing intolerance. In any way. That seems like the opposite of who he is.

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You're allowed to meet with ENWorlders offline? I didn't know that! Seems dangerous . . .

Mannahnin said:

As was already discussed earlier in the thread, if I think being asked for basic courtesies like using someone's correct name or pronouns is an imposition on my game time, I'm the problem.

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That's outside the game.

Mannahnin said:

If I have no issue with including tropes like political marriages or captured princesses in my game but balk at a couple of gay NPCs being portrayed/featured in plot in the exact same way as straight ones, I'm the person bringing real life problems (prejudice) into the game.

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Agreed, and that's bad.

Alzrius said:

While I wouldn't go so far as to characterize them as a "political revolution," I have met people who explicitly bring commentary on contemporary social issues into a pastime that's understood as being escapist fantasy, which seems to be the crux of the issue. For some people, the "escapist" part means that those issues simply aren't present in the first place, whereas other seems to define it to mean that those issues are framed/handled in the way that they wished instead of the way they all too often are.

Both of those are understandable, but don't have much overlap.

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I agree with this, but I also think it's worth pointing out that one of the reasons why people who are inclusive and have a no-politics preference may still hear pushback from minority communities is because their experiences can make them suspicious that it's a lie.

To be clear, not that such statements are always lies nor that those here are lying. But it can be used as a cover for one's prejudice. When someone says they accept and respect you, but then every single thing you do, no matter how slight or unrelated to politics, gets interpreted as if it crosses that no politics line, creating tension at the table. When someone encounters that enough, they will understandably get suspicious when hearing it again.

Which really just means that for people who are not lying, it may take time before that suspicion subsides, and both parties will probably weigh the chances of if it's worth it or not. Some might consider it enough to bounce out, not worth the risk.

bedir than said:

I assure you that you find out something about that person through how they play.
Even "So long as everyone is courteous" requires knowing something - usually a label about them (pronoun and name).

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Ast a con game or similar, other than the DM I don't need to know anyone's real name. As long as I know their characters' names, I'll just use those.

Mannahnin said:

For my part I've played with a bunch of queer and progressive folk, and I've never encountered anyone trying to "make every game into a political revolution of their chosen variety".

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My experience is more with people trying to use the game to push a religious agenda. Even though I by and large agree with said agenda, I still don't want it in the game.

Clint_L said:

I've had Lanefan and some of his group to my house for a game of Dread. Lovely people, tremendous fun to game with. I recommend! Definitely no issues with my spouse's pronoun's (they/them), and I definitely think you are misreading Lanefan if you think he is expressing intolerance. In any way. That seems like the opposite of who he is.

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Thanks for that.

Lanefan said:

My experience is more with people trying to use the game to push a religious agenda. Even though I by and large agree with said agenda, I still don't want it in the game.

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Guess you won't approve of me playing a cleric of the Gaint Flying Spegehetti Monster in your game...

MichaelSomething said:

Guess you won't approve of me playing a cleric of the Gaint Flying Spegehetti Monster in your game...

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Given that "Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster" is just long words for "Cthulhu", you're welcome to play a Cleric to it but be advised that every other adventuring character you meet - including the other PCs - will almost certainly try to kill you on sight...

Lanefan said:

Given that "Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster" is just long words for "Cthulhu", you're welcome to play a Cleric to it but be advised that every other adventuring character you meet - including the other PCs - will almost certainly try to kill you on sight...

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His Noodliness is a very different deity from Cthulhu!

Cthulhu doesn't know anything about pasta