D&D General I’m Trying to Love D&D Again—and I’ve Got Some Complaints. Young Grognard posting.

Alzrius said:

Considering that's the equivalent of calling people by their username when interacting with them on a messageboard, I'd find that acceptably polite.

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When in the thick of a game, as the DM, I often refer to the other players by their character names. My players do also.

However . . . we also learn and use each others names and pronouns, seems disrespectful (and wierd) otherwise. As we gather in the game room, take a break, wrap up for the session, continuing to use character names would be wierd.

Dire Bare said:

As we gather in the game room, take a break, wrap up for the session, continuing to use character names would be wierd.

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It sounds like you're not making a distinction between established groups and con games, the latter being the context that was put forward. Having run my fair share of games at conventions, people don't take breaks or engage in post-game wrap-ups; usually they arrive at the last minute, are eager to get going, and then have to duck out to make the next item on their schedule.

Alzrius said:

Considering that's the equivalent of calling people by their username when interacting with them on a messageboard, I'd find that acceptably polite.

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Nicknames, character names, PC game names and real names are pretty much interchangeable at our table.

Quick question though... do player characters have pronouns?

Generally speaking I prefer for a GM to try to learn the players names at a con game. But it's more for signaling reasons. The GMs who don't ask are often still great. But when I get a GM who is not very attentive to the players, they also don't ask for names.

Gradine said:

Quick question though... do player characters have pronouns?

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Well, everybody has pronouns! If you mean preferred pronouns that differ from their biological gender . . . if the player wants them to, then yes.

Dire Bare said:

Well, everybody has pronouns! If you mean preferred pronouns that differ from their biological gender . . . if the player wants them to, then yes.

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Well, yes, of course. That was kind of my point.

Alzrius said:

It sounds like you're not making a distinction between established groups and con games, the latter being the context that was put forward. Having run my fair share of games at conventions, people don't take breaks or engage in post-game wrap-ups; usually they arrive at the last minute, are eager to get going, and then have to duck out to make the next item on their schedule.

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Nope, I'm not. Most games aren't at cons, traditional home games have been the focus of the conversation.

I don't play at a lot of cons, and I think I'd forgive a DM for not remembering my actual name (or preferred pronoun) during the rapid-fire nature of the event. But it would be respectful for the DM to go around the table and have everybody introduce their character, and themselves, briefly. And then do their best to respect names and pronoun preferences, both for characters and players.

Of course, at cons . . . most folks have convention badges with their real names on them. Should help.

Dire Bare said:

Nope, I'm not. Most games aren't at cons, traditional home games have been the focus of the conversation.

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Yes, you are, since you initially responded to my post, which was itself a response to another post which was explicitly presented in the context of "if they're otherwise strangers, say at a con game or something."

Dire Bare said:

I don't play at a lot of cons, and I think I'd forgive a DM for not remembering my actual name (or preferred pronoun) during the rapid-fire nature of the event.

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Glad you agree with me.

Dire Bare said:

But it would be respectful for the DM to go around the table and have everybody introduce their character, and themselves, briefly. And then do their best to respect names and pronoun preferences, both for characters and players.

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In every convention game that I've ever run or been a part of, there's no expectation that the players are going to go around and introduce their characters, let alone themselves. That's because their characters are virtually always pregens, and quite often time is at a premium; expecting people to familiarize themselves with a character's backstory, to the point of introducing themselves, is very much atypical. No one expects those games to function as a meet-and-greet.

Dire Bare said:

Of course, at cons . . . most folks have convention badges with their real names on them. Should help.

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You'd be surprised how often those are turned over, hanging off of a belt that's below your line of sight when they sit down at a table, or otherwise not easily visible. More than that, I've seen people be visibly put off if they were asked to show their badge (unless you were marked as convention security, and sometimes even then), seeming to take it as a sign that you didn't think they were supposed to be there...making that exactly the opposite of respectful.

Alzrius said:

In every convention game that I've ever run or been a part of, there's no expectation that the players are going to go around and introduce their characters, let alone themselves. That's because their characters are virtually always pregens, and quite often time is at a premium; expecting people to familiarize themselves with a character's backstory, to the point of introducing themselves, is very much atypical. No one expects those games to function as a meet-and-greet.

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Wow. We must not go to the same conventions because some degree of character introduction is very common in the convention games I go to - both organized play and with pre-gens.