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111 Reasons to Prefer Kirk
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<blockquote data-quote="Jack7" data-source="post: 5775757" data-attributes="member: 54707"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">These are not all mine. I swiped the rest.</span> </span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it's soul back in, and even got him laid along the way.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until he got over it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">3. When Picard went back in time he brought back Data's head. When Kirk went back in time he brought back a blonde.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">4. Picard's Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk's Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">5. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">6. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">7. When Sisko met Picard he told him he hated him. When Sisko met Kirk he got his autograph.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">8. Kirk does not play the flute.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">9. Picard is from France.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">10. When Picard has a problem he talks to Guinan about it. When Kirk has a problem he shoots it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">11. When Kirk screams it echoes across the entire planet.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">12. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">13. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matrioshka nesting dolls.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">15. Kirk sword fights someone on a regular basis.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">16. Kirk's Enterprise did not have a day care.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">17. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">18. Kirk has a violently deadly disease in his blood but he doesn't let it slow him down any.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">19. When it's time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">20. Picard's name is known and respected throughout Klingon space. Kirk's name is cursed and vilified.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk's bridge would be a dead one.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">22. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">23. Kirk would never allow an "acting ensign" to lock out his command codes.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare to intimidate his enemies.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">25. Kirk's jump kick projects 650 pounds of blunt force.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">26. Kirk once made a cannon that shot diamonds.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">28. When the evil aliens use a stun ray on the crew, Kirk always stays conscious for a minimum of 15 seconds longer than everyone else.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">30. Kirk once said: "You're the Captain's woman till he says your not."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">31. When Sarek mind melded with Picard, Picard cried a lot. When Sarek mind melded with Kirk, Kirk decided to hijack the Enterprise and bring Spock back from the dead.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">32. Kirk can shoulder roll at 127 miles per hour.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">33. Picard's engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk's engineer</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">wears a kilt and can drink you under the table.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">34. If Picard's engineer has a headache it's because he wore his Visor for too long. If Kirk's engineer has a headache it's because he has a hangover.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">35. Kirk looks good in sideburns. Really good.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">36. Picard drinks tea. Kirk drinks Saurian Brandy straight from the bottle.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">37. Kirk mocks Federation bureaucrats that he doesn't like and then proves that their aids are Klingon spies, just to make the point.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">38. Kirk once became an Indian god with the power to resurrect the dead.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">39. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">40. Kirk's love affairs extend not only across space but across time as well.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">41. Kirk's dress uniform does not actually look like a dress.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt, and he knows it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">43. Kirk repopulated the Earth's once extinct humpbacked whale species.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">44. When Picard wants the ship to go faster he calls down to engineering and asks to go faster. When Kirk wants the ship to go faster he sling-shots it around the sun.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">45. When Klingons invaded Picard's Enterprise he carefully neutralized them. When Klingons invaded Kirk's Enterprise he had a massive sword fight with them.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself on numerous occasions, always with screaming involved.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">47. Kirk's greatest nemesis was the genetically superior ruler of over a quarter of the Earth. Picard's greatest nemesis likes to dress like him and occasionally cause mischief and inconvenience.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">49. Kirk would never allow his first officer to get more tail than he does.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">50. No matter what world Picard goes to, Kirk was there first and probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on the planet.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">51. Everyone knows the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty!" The phrase, "Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge," doesn't exactly have the same notoriety.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">52. Picard's first officer is named after a bathroom code.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">53. Kirk once yelled, "No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!" and made it sound important.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">54. Kirk's hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard's hand phaser looks like a Hoover dirt devil.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">55. When Kirk wants to talk to the Enterprise he flips open his communicator dramatically. When Picard wants to talk to the Enterprise he has to tweak his own nipple.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">56. Kirk's youth was spent doing back breaking work on a farm in Iowa. Picard's youth was spent squishing grapes with his toes in France.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">57. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">58. The women on Picard's ship wear long pants. On Kirk's ship, miniskirts are mandatory.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">59. Kirk's middle name is Tiberius.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">60. It runs in the family: Picard's brother died trapped in a fire. Kirk's brother died fighting swarms of alien invaders.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">61. When Data hijacked the Enterprise, Picard was helpless to stop him. When Spock hijacked the Enterprise Kirk fought him to the death.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">62. Kirk's medical officer prescribes hard liquor as a cure all.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">63. Kirk has heavy calluses on his right index finger from pressing the trigger on his phaser so many times.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">64. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he took them off a dead Klingon.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">66. Kirk chops his own firewood.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">67. Kirk once led a Mafia take over.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">69. In the episode "The Trouble With Tribbles" the tribbles bred at such a fast rate not because of instinct but because they were in the presence of Kirk.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">70. When Deanna Troi talks about what she's feeling, Picard listens carefully and thanks her for her input. Kirk would have called it "pillow talk."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">71. The emotional content level of Kirk's speeches is an average of 782 times higher than the level of Picard's speeches. If he's talking about revolution, exploration, or diversity it is 1,089 times higher.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale and somebody is gonna get murdered.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">73. Kirk is familiar with 20th century slang.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">74. The main computer on Kirk's Enterprise once hit on him.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">75. Kirk faced off against Wyatt Earp at the O.K. Corral and won.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">77. Kirk only requires thirty-two minutes of sleep a day.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he's too busy fighting stuff to eat a normal meal.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise's first five</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">year mission.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">81. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated. When Kirk fought the Borg he blew up their planet.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe he hadn't bathed or changed his clothes in days and was wearing animal carcasses for warmth but Iman still threw herself at him the moment he arrived.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn't even blink.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">84. Kirk can break out of any jail cell that is located anywhere in time or space within one hour. Within one half hour if Spock is with him.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">85. When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">86. Denny Crane.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">87. 87% of all Klingon opera is about the singer's desire to kill Kirk.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">88. The other 13% of all Klingon opera is about the singer's desire to be killed by Kirk in glorious battle.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">90. Kirk's evil twin womanized and swilled brandy. Picard's evil twin liked to have his scalp massaged by Ron Perlman.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">91. Even though they haven't existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still sort of drive a stick shift.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">93. Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">94. Kirk went to the center of the universe, met a god and wasn't impressed.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">95. When Kirk says "boldly go," he actually means it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">96. "KHHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">97. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who's really minding the store.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">98. Starfleet estimates that the average Klingon has a 36% chance of being killed by Kirk at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their age, profession, location, or social status.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">99. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">101. Kirk is the only human to have ever destroyed a Planet Killer by ramming another Starship right down it's throat and blowing it up. Even the Planet Killer was impressed.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">102. The Romulan's pet name for Picard is Pee-kard. The Romulan's pet name for Kirk is "<em>Sorcerer</em>."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">103. Federation base stations and outposts don't survive plasma torpedoes and Romulan ambushes. Kirk does.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">104. Kirk has been beaten up on numerous times by much stronger Vulcans, and has even been killed by one, and yet lived to tell the tale every time.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">105. Kirk made Admiral and then said, "to hell with this crap, give me back my ship!"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">106. Kirk and his entire crew survived "Spock's Brain."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">107. Even creatures that eat their way through solid rock absolutely love Kirk. Their kids do too.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">108. Nobody ever says, "What would Picard do in this situation?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">109. The "Picard Maneuver" is a quick side-step, the "Kirk Maneuver" is a lightning fast step-inside followed by a disabling Karate chop to the neck.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">110. When Picard fires weapons he does so judiciously. When Kirk fires he says, "Light em up boys! I want them to see this in the Gamma Quadrant!"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">111. Picard prefers to follow the Prime Directive on all occasions. Kirk's Prime Directive is "whatever works."</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jack7, post: 5775757, member: 54707"] [B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana]These are not all mine. I swiped the rest.[/FONT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana]1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it's soul back in, and even got him laid along the way. 2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until he got over it. 3. When Picard went back in time he brought back Data's head. When Kirk went back in time he brought back a blonde. 4. Picard's Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk's Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead. 5. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions. 6. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time. 7. When Sisko met Picard he told him he hated him. When Sisko met Kirk he got his autograph. 8. Kirk does not play the flute. 9. Picard is from France. 10. When Picard has a problem he talks to Guinan about it. When Kirk has a problem he shoots it. 11. When Kirk screams it echoes across the entire planet. 12. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home. 13. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matrioshka nesting dolls. 14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women. 15. Kirk sword fights someone on a regular basis. 16. Kirk's Enterprise did not have a day care. 17. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting. 18. Kirk has a violently deadly disease in his blood but he doesn't let it slow him down any. 19. When it's time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool. 20. Picard's name is known and respected throughout Klingon space. Kirk's name is cursed and vilified. 21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk's bridge would be a dead one. 22. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish. 23. Kirk would never allow an "acting ensign" to lock out his command codes. 24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare to intimidate his enemies. 25. Kirk's jump kick projects 650 pounds of blunt force. 26. Kirk once made a cannon that shot diamonds. 27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis. 28. When the evil aliens use a stun ray on the crew, Kirk always stays conscious for a minimum of 15 seconds longer than everyone else. 29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet. 30. Kirk once said: "You're the Captain's woman till he says your not." 31. When Sarek mind melded with Picard, Picard cried a lot. When Sarek mind melded with Kirk, Kirk decided to hijack the Enterprise and bring Spock back from the dead. 32. Kirk can shoulder roll at 127 miles per hour. 33. Picard's engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk's engineer wears a kilt and can drink you under the table. 34. If Picard's engineer has a headache it's because he wore his Visor for too long. If Kirk's engineer has a headache it's because he has a hangover. 35. Kirk looks good in sideburns. Really good. 36. Picard drinks tea. Kirk drinks Saurian Brandy straight from the bottle. 37. Kirk mocks Federation bureaucrats that he doesn't like and then proves that their aids are Klingon spies, just to make the point. 38. Kirk once became an Indian god with the power to resurrect the dead. 39. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess. 40. Kirk's love affairs extend not only across space but across time as well. 41. Kirk's dress uniform does not actually look like a dress. 42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt, and he knows it. 43. Kirk repopulated the Earth's once extinct humpbacked whale species. 44. When Picard wants the ship to go faster he calls down to engineering and asks to go faster. When Kirk wants the ship to go faster he sling-shots it around the sun. 45. When Klingons invaded Picard's Enterprise he carefully neutralized them. When Klingons invaded Kirk's Enterprise he had a massive sword fight with them. 46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself on numerous occasions, always with screaming involved. 47. Kirk's greatest nemesis was the genetically superior ruler of over a quarter of the Earth. Picard's greatest nemesis likes to dress like him and occasionally cause mischief and inconvenience. 48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races. 49. Kirk would never allow his first officer to get more tail than he does. 50. No matter what world Picard goes to, Kirk was there first and probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on the planet. 51. Everyone knows the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty!" The phrase, "Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge," doesn't exactly have the same notoriety. 52. Picard's first officer is named after a bathroom code. 53. Kirk once yelled, "No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!" and made it sound important. 54. Kirk's hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard's hand phaser looks like a Hoover dirt devil. 55. When Kirk wants to talk to the Enterprise he flips open his communicator dramatically. When Picard wants to talk to the Enterprise he has to tweak his own nipple. 56. Kirk's youth was spent doing back breaking work on a farm in Iowa. Picard's youth was spent squishing grapes with his toes in France. 57. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won. 58. The women on Picard's ship wear long pants. On Kirk's ship, miniskirts are mandatory. 59. Kirk's middle name is Tiberius. 60. It runs in the family: Picard's brother died trapped in a fire. Kirk's brother died fighting swarms of alien invaders. 61. When Data hijacked the Enterprise, Picard was helpless to stop him. When Spock hijacked the Enterprise Kirk fought him to the death. 62. Kirk's medical officer prescribes hard liquor as a cure all. 63. Kirk has heavy calluses on his right index finger from pressing the trigger on his phaser so many times. 64. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk. 65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he took them off a dead Klingon. 66. Kirk chops his own firewood. 67. Kirk once led a Mafia take over. 68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two. 69. In the episode "The Trouble With Tribbles" the tribbles bred at such a fast rate not because of instinct but because they were in the presence of Kirk. 70. When Deanna Troi talks about what she's feeling, Picard listens carefully and thanks her for her input. Kirk would have called it "pillow talk." 71. The emotional content level of Kirk's speeches is an average of 782 times higher than the level of Picard's speeches. If he's talking about revolution, exploration, or diversity it is 1,089 times higher. 72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale and somebody is gonna get murdered. 73. Kirk is familiar with 20th century slang. 74. The main computer on Kirk's Enterprise once hit on him. 75. Kirk faced off against Wyatt Earp at the O.K. Corral and won. 76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent. 77. Kirk only requires thirty-two minutes of sleep a day. 78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he's too busy fighting stuff to eat a normal meal. 79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise's first five year mission. 80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women. 81. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated. When Kirk fought the Borg he blew up their planet. 82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe he hadn't bathed or changed his clothes in days and was wearing animal carcasses for warmth but Iman still threw herself at him the moment he arrived. 83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn't even blink. 84. Kirk can break out of any jail cell that is located anywhere in time or space within one hour. Within one half hour if Spock is with him. 85. When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured. 86. Denny Crane. 87. 87% of all Klingon opera is about the singer's desire to kill Kirk. 88. The other 13% of all Klingon opera is about the singer's desire to be killed by Kirk in glorious battle. 89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her. 90. Kirk's evil twin womanized and swilled brandy. Picard's evil twin liked to have his scalp massaged by Ron Perlman. 91. Even though they haven't existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still sort of drive a stick shift. 92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it. 93. Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him. 94. Kirk went to the center of the universe, met a god and wasn't impressed. 95. When Kirk says "boldly go," he actually means it. 96. "KHHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!" 97. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who's really minding the store. 98. Starfleet estimates that the average Klingon has a 36% chance of being killed by Kirk at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their age, profession, location, or social status. 99. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet. 100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm. 101. Kirk is the only human to have ever destroyed a Planet Killer by ramming another Starship right down it's throat and blowing it up. Even the Planet Killer was impressed. 102. The Romulan's pet name for Picard is Pee-kard. The Romulan's pet name for Kirk is "[I]Sorcerer[/I]." 103. Federation base stations and outposts don't survive plasma torpedoes and Romulan ambushes. Kirk does. 104. Kirk has been beaten up on numerous times by much stronger Vulcans, and has even been killed by one, and yet lived to tell the tale every time. 105. Kirk made Admiral and then said, "to hell with this crap, give me back my ship!" 106. Kirk and his entire crew survived "Spock's Brain." 107. Even creatures that eat their way through solid rock absolutely love Kirk. Their kids do too. 108. Nobody ever says, "What would Picard do in this situation?" 109. The "Picard Maneuver" is a quick side-step, the "Kirk Maneuver" is a lightning fast step-inside followed by a disabling Karate chop to the neck. 110. When Picard fires weapons he does so judiciously. When Kirk fires he says, "Light em up boys! I want them to see this in the Gamma Quadrant!" 111. Picard prefers to follow the Prime Directive on all occasions. Kirk's Prime Directive is "whatever works."[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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