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<blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 7513018" data-attributes="member: 57112"><p>Okay, let me try to organize my thoughts on <em>The Twisted Court</em> in the most efficient way possible. I think I'm going to accomplish that best by breaking it down to tackling my two biggest mistakes in the writing of it, before circling back to what I thought I did well.</p><p></p><p><strong>I Fit The Ingredients to the Adventure, Rather Than the Adventure to the Ingredients</strong></p><p></p><p>I mentioned in my pre-judgement analysis that this was an adaptation of an adaptation of the Forge of Fury. A pro-tip to everyone writing for Iron DM: never, NEVER do this! Even if you've already got an adventure planned that you think fits <em>most</em> of the ingredients, and just needs a few tweaks? Yeah, this was my biggest regret. You might notice that none of the ingredients figure prominently, if at all, in the Forge of Fury; how I've adapted it to my home Eberron campaign places the Ancient Culture (the Dhakaani) more front and center and includes a manipulative mind flayer (I usually just call him "Karl") and a version of the Incremental Malison, but if everything else felt tacked on? That's because it was.</p><p></p><p><strong>I Wrote for the Wrong Audience</strong></p><p></p><p>I'll hold that <em>A Twisted Court</em> is still, as it is currently written, a pretty good adventure for Eberron DMs. "Eberron DMs", however, were not my audience here: the judges were. Hence, all that early setting lore establishing the exact location of the adventure that made @<em><strong><u><a href="http://www.enworld.org/forum/member.php?u=53947" target="_blank">Iron</a></u></strong></em>Sky's eyes glaze over; none of that was particular relevant and I should have cut basically all of it.</p><p></p><p>Furthermore, several of the ingredients only work well as essential ingredients because of the specific setting lore of Eberron; primarily the Mindful Mind Flayer and the Hungry Hippogriff. I at least took the time to make a brief mention that the Daelkyr led armies of <em>aberrations,</em> hence why specifically a Mind Flayer (who in Eberron are created by and are often servants to the Daelkyr) would know about the curse in the first place, let alone have cause to study it. The Hippogriff is the more egregious example: as per setting canon the crest of House Vadalis is the Hippogriff; and of all the Dragonmarked Houses it probably maintains one of the closest ties to its heraldic beast. Vadalis claims to have created the first Hippogriff, and Vadalis' history of experimentation with <em>magebreeding</em> beasts (and the tendency of some its members to cross ethical and moral boundaries in doing so, Isle of Dr. Moreau-style) made it a perfect thematic match for all the business with Daelkyr flesh-warping and the lasting impacts of their curse on the ancient fortress. </p><p></p><p>Of course, it doesn't help that I got the description of the Hippogriff wrong ><</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, @<em><strong><u><a href="http://www.enworld.org/forum/member.php?u=67" target="_blank">Rune</a></u></strong></em> did pick up on the fact that <em>Fernii</em> was the true representation of the "Hungry Hippogriff" in the adventure. I got dinged on that anyway because, were this a setting of my own creation I could have picked any magical beast for the house crest; or even given Eberron (and thus the established House Crest) I could have had Fernii be a member of any Dragonmarked House. Except I couldn't, because again, the thematic ties between House Vadalis, her excoriate uncle/father, and the Daelkyr fleshwarping curse.</p><p></p><p>Incidentally, "excoriate" is the appropriate and canonical term used in Eberron for a Dragonmarked House exile.</p><p></p><p>This brings us to one of the biggest issues:</p><p></p><p><strong>To Use or Not To Use Established Settings in Iron DM</strong></p><p></p><p>This is the tricky one, because I don't think there's a proper answer to this, either as a contestant or as a judge. Ultimately, a judge should never have to do research on any deep lore of any particular established setting, and I'll admit I went pretty deep on some of the lore (although Dragonmarked Houses are a pretty core, central aspect to Eberron). One could make the argument that Eberron is fairly obscure, but I don't really buy that the currently second-most popular setting of the far-and-away most popular RPG of all time could be considered "obscure". But then, if then if the ingredient had been "Hungry Hobbit" and I had set the adventure on Dark Sun, would anyone have asked why the halflings were all cannibals? Would anyone have blinked if I had set the "Mindful Mind Flayer" at the helm of a Spelljammer? Have any of the many Shadowrun adventures submitted taken the time to explore the role megacorps play in the setting? Again, I can't actually answer that (it could be no, it could be yes; it really depends on the judge), nor can I argue that I didn't go truly overboard with my setting lore (I definitely did). </p><p></p><p>But yet, there are pitfalls to homebrewing settings as well. Last year I nearly lost in the first round because my generic fantasy adventure failed to account for how easy it is to cure poison in even low-level D&D. And the more non-standard the setting gets, the more discussions center around "usability" (and you really, <em>really</em> have to do a good job of justifying the essential-ness of your ingredients). </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure that the answer is "only stick to settings that you're pretty sure the judges know about" either. After all, one of my best adventures in this competition was my other Eberron-based aventure, it just so happened that the Eberron-ness of that adventure was not nearly as central or essential to the plot of that adventure as it was to <em>The Twisted Court</em> and the way the ingredients were used within it. Ultimately, I think, the answer is simply to be more mindful of the world I establish within the adventure, and to relay information as necessary (to understanding the adventure as an Iron DM entry, moreso than the geographic location of the adventure).</p><p></p><p><strong>Other Thoughts</strong> </p><p>I wish I had organized the adventure much better. A though I'm having currently is to just stick with the site-based adventure: here is the site, here are the major NPCs and their motivations. Waste less energy on establishing multiple hooks and let those hooks be implied. This is a weird place with weird stuff coming out of it and weirder and weirder things happening in nearby villages; the multitude of reasons why an adventuring party would be drawn to it ought to be self-evident. I'm not certain all of the judges would have appreciated that lack of a specific tie-in (tie-ins) for the PCs to get involved or not, but if nothing else it would have made the adventure less confusing to read.</p><p></p><p>I definitely got a little too cute by half in some of my naming conventions. The specific Daelkyr who cursed this specific fortress did not need to be named. The Mind Flayer did, but I there's probably a middle ground between Iacthatkarlosh and Karl.</p><p></p><p>One of these days I'll learn never to equivocate on ingredients. The bit about "He might very well have been the heir for all he knew" was intended to be a clever turn of phrase to establish that Tel'Daar was the Con Artist, but it also unnecessary and weakened the ingredient (not that it was particularly strong in the first place). I feel like this is something I've done before, too, though I can't say I can name a specific instance off of the top of my head.</p><p></p><p>I'm a huge fan of aberrations, and even though I got the base anatomy of the Hippogriff wrong, I'm really happy with how Hephaestus turned out. I wanted it to be suitably unsettling as well as a decent challenge for the PCs (were I wasting space on combat stats, Bragi probably would be a pushover comparatively). I'm also happy with how Karl worked out, for the most part, though I wish I had given myself more space to talk about the resolution, because I feel like he could have played a more interesting role in the finale. That said, social combats (an under-utilized concept that I love to use) are great fun, and giving the players a chance to outsmart a semi-hostile illithid should be a great moment for them.</p><p></p><p>I also enjoy how open-ended it became; I liked that there were multiple ways for different parties to get involved, and while the PCs ultimately attempting to destroy the mint was an assumption, it also wasn't a given.</p><p></p><p>Overall, I'm quite happy with <em>The Twisted Court</em> as an adventure, if not as an Iron DM entry.</p><p></p><p>Here's to looking forward to getting those both right next round.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gradine, post: 7513018, member: 57112"] Okay, let me try to organize my thoughts on [I]The Twisted Court[/I] in the most efficient way possible. I think I'm going to accomplish that best by breaking it down to tackling my two biggest mistakes in the writing of it, before circling back to what I thought I did well. [B]I Fit The Ingredients to the Adventure, Rather Than the Adventure to the Ingredients[/B] I mentioned in my pre-judgement analysis that this was an adaptation of an adaptation of the Forge of Fury. A pro-tip to everyone writing for Iron DM: never, NEVER do this! Even if you've already got an adventure planned that you think fits [I]most[/I] of the ingredients, and just needs a few tweaks? Yeah, this was my biggest regret. You might notice that none of the ingredients figure prominently, if at all, in the Forge of Fury; how I've adapted it to my home Eberron campaign places the Ancient Culture (the Dhakaani) more front and center and includes a manipulative mind flayer (I usually just call him "Karl") and a version of the Incremental Malison, but if everything else felt tacked on? That's because it was. [B]I Wrote for the Wrong Audience[/B] I'll hold that [I]A Twisted Court[/I] is still, as it is currently written, a pretty good adventure for Eberron DMs. "Eberron DMs", however, were not my audience here: the judges were. Hence, all that early setting lore establishing the exact location of the adventure that made @[I][B][U][URL="http://www.enworld.org/forum/member.php?u=53947"]Iron[/URL][/U][/B][/I]Sky's eyes glaze over; none of that was particular relevant and I should have cut basically all of it. Furthermore, several of the ingredients only work well as essential ingredients because of the specific setting lore of Eberron; primarily the Mindful Mind Flayer and the Hungry Hippogriff. I at least took the time to make a brief mention that the Daelkyr led armies of [I]aberrations,[/I] hence why specifically a Mind Flayer (who in Eberron are created by and are often servants to the Daelkyr) would know about the curse in the first place, let alone have cause to study it. The Hippogriff is the more egregious example: as per setting canon the crest of House Vadalis is the Hippogriff; and of all the Dragonmarked Houses it probably maintains one of the closest ties to its heraldic beast. Vadalis claims to have created the first Hippogriff, and Vadalis' history of experimentation with [I]magebreeding[/I] beasts (and the tendency of some its members to cross ethical and moral boundaries in doing so, Isle of Dr. Moreau-style) made it a perfect thematic match for all the business with Daelkyr flesh-warping and the lasting impacts of their curse on the ancient fortress. Of course, it doesn't help that I got the description of the Hippogriff wrong >< On the other hand, @[I][B][U][URL="http://www.enworld.org/forum/member.php?u=67"]Rune[/URL][/U][/B][/I] did pick up on the fact that [I]Fernii[/I] was the true representation of the "Hungry Hippogriff" in the adventure. I got dinged on that anyway because, were this a setting of my own creation I could have picked any magical beast for the house crest; or even given Eberron (and thus the established House Crest) I could have had Fernii be a member of any Dragonmarked House. Except I couldn't, because again, the thematic ties between House Vadalis, her excoriate uncle/father, and the Daelkyr fleshwarping curse. Incidentally, "excoriate" is the appropriate and canonical term used in Eberron for a Dragonmarked House exile. This brings us to one of the biggest issues: [B]To Use or Not To Use Established Settings in Iron DM[/B] This is the tricky one, because I don't think there's a proper answer to this, either as a contestant or as a judge. Ultimately, a judge should never have to do research on any deep lore of any particular established setting, and I'll admit I went pretty deep on some of the lore (although Dragonmarked Houses are a pretty core, central aspect to Eberron). One could make the argument that Eberron is fairly obscure, but I don't really buy that the currently second-most popular setting of the far-and-away most popular RPG of all time could be considered "obscure". But then, if then if the ingredient had been "Hungry Hobbit" and I had set the adventure on Dark Sun, would anyone have asked why the halflings were all cannibals? Would anyone have blinked if I had set the "Mindful Mind Flayer" at the helm of a Spelljammer? Have any of the many Shadowrun adventures submitted taken the time to explore the role megacorps play in the setting? Again, I can't actually answer that (it could be no, it could be yes; it really depends on the judge), nor can I argue that I didn't go truly overboard with my setting lore (I definitely did). But yet, there are pitfalls to homebrewing settings as well. Last year I nearly lost in the first round because my generic fantasy adventure failed to account for how easy it is to cure poison in even low-level D&D. And the more non-standard the setting gets, the more discussions center around "usability" (and you really, [I]really[/I] have to do a good job of justifying the essential-ness of your ingredients). I'm not sure that the answer is "only stick to settings that you're pretty sure the judges know about" either. After all, one of my best adventures in this competition was my other Eberron-based aventure, it just so happened that the Eberron-ness of that adventure was not nearly as central or essential to the plot of that adventure as it was to [I]The Twisted Court[/I] and the way the ingredients were used within it. Ultimately, I think, the answer is simply to be more mindful of the world I establish within the adventure, and to relay information as necessary (to understanding the adventure as an Iron DM entry, moreso than the geographic location of the adventure). [B]Other Thoughts[/B] I wish I had organized the adventure much better. A though I'm having currently is to just stick with the site-based adventure: here is the site, here are the major NPCs and their motivations. Waste less energy on establishing multiple hooks and let those hooks be implied. This is a weird place with weird stuff coming out of it and weirder and weirder things happening in nearby villages; the multitude of reasons why an adventuring party would be drawn to it ought to be self-evident. I'm not certain all of the judges would have appreciated that lack of a specific tie-in (tie-ins) for the PCs to get involved or not, but if nothing else it would have made the adventure less confusing to read. I definitely got a little too cute by half in some of my naming conventions. The specific Daelkyr who cursed this specific fortress did not need to be named. The Mind Flayer did, but I there's probably a middle ground between Iacthatkarlosh and Karl. One of these days I'll learn never to equivocate on ingredients. The bit about "He might very well have been the heir for all he knew" was intended to be a clever turn of phrase to establish that Tel'Daar was the Con Artist, but it also unnecessary and weakened the ingredient (not that it was particularly strong in the first place). I feel like this is something I've done before, too, though I can't say I can name a specific instance off of the top of my head. I'm a huge fan of aberrations, and even though I got the base anatomy of the Hippogriff wrong, I'm really happy with how Hephaestus turned out. I wanted it to be suitably unsettling as well as a decent challenge for the PCs (were I wasting space on combat stats, Bragi probably would be a pushover comparatively). I'm also happy with how Karl worked out, for the most part, though I wish I had given myself more space to talk about the resolution, because I feel like he could have played a more interesting role in the finale. That said, social combats (an under-utilized concept that I love to use) are great fun, and giving the players a chance to outsmart a semi-hostile illithid should be a great moment for them. I also enjoy how open-ended it became; I liked that there were multiple ways for different parties to get involved, and while the PCs ultimately attempting to destroy the mint was an assumption, it also wasn't a given. Overall, I'm quite happy with [I]The Twisted Court[/I] as an adventure, if not as an Iron DM entry. Here's to looking forward to getting those both right next round. [/QUOTE]
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