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<blockquote data-quote="MortalPlague" data-source="post: 7515786" data-attributes="member: 62721"><p>[sblock]</p><p>Thanks for the write-up, Iron Sky. You guys have been doing a lot of work going through the entries and I really appreciate the critique. Over the years the feedback has made me a much better writer.</p><p></p><p>Specifically; I used way less commas this time around. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>I considered that line to be part of the title, similar to my 'A sci-fi adventure' from last round. But fair enough.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Organizing the information in an entry like this is always a challenge. As you noted in your write-up, the adventure has a lot of backstory. I decided to write a short version of what's going on in the backstory section and a longer, more detailed write-up in the appropriate sections. This was probably the biggest thing I went back and forth on while writing the entry.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I think hags have enough ties to vile magic for necromancy to feel appropriate. They aren't <em>specifically</em> known for it, but if a human can learn it, why not a hag? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>Recall that in the days of the Empire, this location was a secured, manned fortress. When the Empire fell, Shugo remained.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is just funny. And pretty accurate to how it would go at the table, I suspect. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>True enough. Their rat-minions are really supposed to drive action if the DM wants to bring them more to the forefront. Having one of those steal a character's coin purse and scurry down into the lower levels of the ruins would be a great way to bring them more into the adventure...</p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm glad you enjoyed Shugo so much. I had a lot of fun writing him. He went through a few iterations; at one point he was a scheming creature himself who would pervert what was written as much as he could to his own agenda while feigning total obedience. That version sought freedom from his bonds at all costs. But in the end, he became more interesting in the adventure as a directed, merciless, unstoppable tool of assassination.</p><p>[/sblock]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MortalPlague, post: 7515786, member: 62721"] [sblock] Thanks for the write-up, Iron Sky. You guys have been doing a lot of work going through the entries and I really appreciate the critique. Over the years the feedback has made me a much better writer. Specifically; I used way less commas this time around. ;) I considered that line to be part of the title, similar to my 'A sci-fi adventure' from last round. But fair enough. Organizing the information in an entry like this is always a challenge. As you noted in your write-up, the adventure has a lot of backstory. I decided to write a short version of what's going on in the backstory section and a longer, more detailed write-up in the appropriate sections. This was probably the biggest thing I went back and forth on while writing the entry. I think hags have enough ties to vile magic for necromancy to feel appropriate. They aren't [I]specifically[/I] known for it, but if a human can learn it, why not a hag? :) Recall that in the days of the Empire, this location was a secured, manned fortress. When the Empire fell, Shugo remained. This is just funny. And pretty accurate to how it would go at the table, I suspect. :p True enough. Their rat-minions are really supposed to drive action if the DM wants to bring them more to the forefront. Having one of those steal a character's coin purse and scurry down into the lower levels of the ruins would be a great way to bring them more into the adventure... I'm glad you enjoyed Shugo so much. I had a lot of fun writing him. He went through a few iterations; at one point he was a scheming creature himself who would pervert what was written as much as he could to his own agenda while feigning total obedience. That version sought freedom from his bonds at all costs. But in the end, he became more interesting in the adventure as a directed, merciless, unstoppable tool of assassination. [/sblock] [/QUOTE]
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