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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 7846192" data-attributes="member: 57112">Gradine's Judgment, Round 2 Match 1Rules and ReadabilityBoth entries are well-formatted and edited, and easy to read. Pendragon: Love Eternal (hereafter "Pendragon") was sadly late by under an hour, and is therefore limited to a 1350 word count. This means that I have not read anything after the heading "Conclusion".Adventure Flow & PotentialThis is my subjective "what did I generally like/dislike about the adventures" section of the judgment. I'll start with "Arrow, by Versace" (hereafter "Arrow"). This is an interesting adventure of intrigue and mystery that seems to me to be modelled almost directly after the Alexandrian's Node-Based Scenario structure and Three-Clue Rule. This works out as an overall strength of the adventure, but it has the potential to cause some of the ingredients to suffer due to the necessary clue redundancies. The modern-day setting mixed with the mythological trappings are a perfectly great fit, and the adventure seems like it will be great fun throughout.  "Pendragon", on the other hand, is a much more linear and traditional affair, though with plenty enough wrinkles and twists on the formula to make it stand out. The lack of a proper conclusion (that exists, I just can't read/consider it) hurts it ultimately, but it avoids many of the pitfalls that normally befall linear adventures, in that in features numerous choice points for the players and even a particularly notable sacrifice (that is ultimatley reversed, but the players don't know this at the time). All of these trappings perfectly suit the setting in both tone and style as well.Both adventures have fairly boilerplate hooks: they're hired to do a job, and things get more complicated (and notably weirder) from there. "Pendragon", though, does a better job of ramping up the stakes throughout the adventure through the space-time wibbly wobbly hijinks (which do sadly leave behind the more grounded and personal stakes of the knight and his charge/son and the assassin hired to kill him), whereas in "Arrow" I never really get a sense of what the consequences are of Eros' jailing or the PCs' failure to free him. Heck, I don't even get really a sense of what the consequences are, immediate or long-term, if the PCs succeed. The IngredientsOnce again, this is looking like it will come down to ingredients.Laconic Sphynx"Arrow" has Phix and "Pendragon" has Derull. The Sphynx fits better, mythologically speaking, in "Arrow", whereas the creature has much less direct tie to Arthurian legend, and "Pendragon" just declares that you talk to Sphynxs about timey wimey wibbly wobbly because... that's what the adventure says. That said, "Laconic" fits much better with Derull. I think I get where "Arrow" was going with this interpretation in having Phix leave off a word at the end of each riddle, but that's not really laconic. In fact, Phix seems quite a bit more talkative and demanding than Derull in general.Thieving CaravanIn "Pendragon" these are the bandits that take the crown, and as an inciting incident it works fine, but their relevance to the adventure ends fairly early on. In "Arrow" this ends up being the PCs, which is generally a much stronger use of an ingredient, even if the "caravan" aspect comes off as forced and unnecessary (why does a Sphynx need an RV? Can it not fly?). And do they have to take a barge to Antarctica? Can the RV even handle the terrain there? Does Phix even join for that leg of the journey? There's a lot of questions here, obviously, but I still lean towards giving this to "Arrow".Astral JauntBoth entries feature the Astral Plane in some manner. In "Arrow" it is really more of a "jaunt", but there's a big chance that the PCs will never actually interact with it themselves, whereas it's central to the resolution of "Pendragon" and thus a stronger overall use.Last CrownbearerThis is probably "Arrow's" weakest ingredient; Phix is off-handedly mentioned as carrying Zeus's olive wreath, and that it serves as a beacon, but that's it. Meanwhile, the crown and its story is again more central to "Pendragon's" story, especially as it attaches itself to a PC. As we've mentioned earlier, turning one or more of the PCs into an ingredient is an inherently strong usage.Affluent TrollBoth entries give us a troll, but neither give us much reason for the troll being a troll. I think it's more strongly justified in "Arrow" and the character of Jotunn himself is more significant than "Pendragon's" Uberon, so I give this to Arrow.Crystal SealI think I wanted this to be stronger in both entries than it ultimately turned out being. "Arrow" mixes in some some good puns but I don't get the sense for why the statue is a fur seal (or why Euryale can now turn things to crystal) or why the letter sealed with the intaglio flies straight to Eros; these are ultimately interchangible mcguffins. Furthermore, which solid enough detective work they're entirely missable, the Kappa path leading the PCs directly to Antarctica. "Pendragon's" seal is much stronger, but it's not even technically crystal, it's sapphire, which are not the same thing (sapphire crystal is a thing but it's synthetic and would be anachronistic here). Still, the ingredient's function as a "Seal" is stronger here in "Pendragon", so it gets the slight edge.Fountain of LoveBoth entries have a fountain, and both are quite strongly tied to "love" (or some fascilime thereof). I absolutely adore the detail that Jotunn is essentially selling bottled bathwater, and it functions as a fairly extreme obstacle for the PCs in some scenarios. Meanwhile, "Pendragon's" fountain ties directly to its settings' themes of romance, honor, and sacrifice. This is possibly the strongest ingredient in both entries.In ConclusionThese are two great adventures and great Iron DM entries. Again, however, I am forced with a decision: do I choose the adventure that is, overall, slightly stronger than the other, or do I choose the adventure that, on balance, utilized the ingredients a little bit better?[SPOILER="The Judgment"]Ultimately, I have to go with the ingredients, and in this case "Pendragon" has the edge on "Arrow". Had "Arrow" had fewer macguffins and otherwise weakly tied ingredients, I would likely have given it the edge. But especially at this stage, it's not enough to have built a vey strong and compelling adventure; the ingredients need to be tightly weaved throughout, and not just incidental.However, it appears that I am in the minority in this judgment, with the other two judges narrowly siding with "Arrow". Thus, by a vote of 2-1, Iron Sky advances to the finals! Congratulations!Wisdom Seeker, you came pretty close to knocking off a seasoned veteran here and former champion here, which is no small feat for your first time competing. If I have any advice for you, it would be to ensure that the disparate elements of your adventures flow better together, in terms of both theme and pacing. All told, though, I'm very excited to see what you have to offer us in future competitions. I believe you'll be a force to be reckoned with!As it is, congratulations again to Iron Sky, and we will see you in our finale![/SPOILER]Bring on Match 2!</blockquote>

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