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2019 IRON DM Tournament
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<blockquote data-quote="Iron Sky" data-source="post: 7846275" data-attributes="member: 60965"><p>This was not obviously not my strongest entry and, aside from my usual final few editing passes being cut away by family time constraints, I think my weakest points had to do with trying to be too subtle about some ingredients and going with the "if you can't make one bulletproof ingredient, make three or four decent ones."</p><p></p><p>My biggest disappointment was that none of the judges seemed to get my attempt at laconicism: the sphinx eats part of the PCs if they get a riddle wrong so aside from the initial exposition, he would speak as little as possible. I think it might have been clearer if I'd written less riddles as in saying "he doesn't talk much" after writing 300 words of his riddles, I totally undermined myself.</p><p></p><p>As for the Crystal Seals, I had that as the Crystal Meth locking Eros in the Astral as they key bit from the get go, but rather than making it more focal, I threw in the other ideas for seals I'd brainstormed in the hopes that the better mystery would make up for each ingredient being weakened.</p><p></p><p>I'd originally had Jotunn's internet trolling being more central, but cut it due to word constraints. I hoped having him be a wealthy troll who trolled living in newly-luxurious Troll, AQ would cover my bases somehow. Stronger is definitely better than more.</p><p></p><p>Phix was a fun character to make up and write for, but in retrospect, it would have been much stronger if one of the characters had to carry the crown due to some thread of divine blood in their veins while others tried to steal it... I (weakly) used the sphinx coming along to make the PCs the caravan as a last resort as I couldn't figure out how else to tie that one in.</p><p></p><p>I also was fortunate that some plot-holes I picked up in rereading after submitting passed most of the judges eye; in trying for breadth of adventure space, the tightness of the weave definitely slackened. It might have been what bumped me, teetering over the edge with two of the judges, but having one or two stronger ingredients would probably have been the better choice.</p><p></p><p>Add it all to a weak hook and lack of conclusion (or stakes) makes this... not my strongest entry.</p><p></p><p>[USER=6954514]@Wisdom Seeker[/USER] , for your first time competing, I'm definitely blown away. I've done this half-a-dozen times and I've never seen a match as close as this one with both entries essentially tied on score and thrown to the judges' gut to resolve. </p><p></p><p>Your adventure was solid - the scene with the drunken troll king and his merry band being my favorite, drifting me into nostalgic memories of <em>The Last Unicorn</em> from when I was a kid. My only advice if you compete again in the future (do!) was that your statting things out seemed to weaken a couple ingredients (Troll is a re-skinned Giant, Sphinx is a re-skinned Griffin) that may have consciously or not tweaked some of the judges too as well as costing you the precious words it took to enumerate.</p><p></p><p>Feel free to ignore me, come a hair's breadth from winning as you did. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks judges for the critiques. Having worn your shoes a couple times now I know just how hard (and time consuming) it can be. Looking forward to the final round!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Iron Sky, post: 7846275, member: 60965"] This was not obviously not my strongest entry and, aside from my usual final few editing passes being cut away by family time constraints, I think my weakest points had to do with trying to be too subtle about some ingredients and going with the "if you can't make one bulletproof ingredient, make three or four decent ones." My biggest disappointment was that none of the judges seemed to get my attempt at laconicism: the sphinx eats part of the PCs if they get a riddle wrong so aside from the initial exposition, he would speak as little as possible. I think it might have been clearer if I'd written less riddles as in saying "he doesn't talk much" after writing 300 words of his riddles, I totally undermined myself. As for the Crystal Seals, I had that as the Crystal Meth locking Eros in the Astral as they key bit from the get go, but rather than making it more focal, I threw in the other ideas for seals I'd brainstormed in the hopes that the better mystery would make up for each ingredient being weakened. I'd originally had Jotunn's internet trolling being more central, but cut it due to word constraints. I hoped having him be a wealthy troll who trolled living in newly-luxurious Troll, AQ would cover my bases somehow. Stronger is definitely better than more. Phix was a fun character to make up and write for, but in retrospect, it would have been much stronger if one of the characters had to carry the crown due to some thread of divine blood in their veins while others tried to steal it... I (weakly) used the sphinx coming along to make the PCs the caravan as a last resort as I couldn't figure out how else to tie that one in. I also was fortunate that some plot-holes I picked up in rereading after submitting passed most of the judges eye; in trying for breadth of adventure space, the tightness of the weave definitely slackened. It might have been what bumped me, teetering over the edge with two of the judges, but having one or two stronger ingredients would probably have been the better choice. Add it all to a weak hook and lack of conclusion (or stakes) makes this... not my strongest entry. [USER=6954514]@Wisdom Seeker[/USER] , for your first time competing, I'm definitely blown away. I've done this half-a-dozen times and I've never seen a match as close as this one with both entries essentially tied on score and thrown to the judges' gut to resolve. Your adventure was solid - the scene with the drunken troll king and his merry band being my favorite, drifting me into nostalgic memories of [I]The Last Unicorn[/I] from when I was a kid. My only advice if you compete again in the future (do!) was that your statting things out seemed to weaken a couple ingredients (Troll is a re-skinned Giant, Sphinx is a re-skinned Griffin) that may have consciously or not tweaked some of the judges too as well as costing you the precious words it took to enumerate. Feel free to ignore me, come a hair's breadth from winning as you did. :P Thanks judges for the critiques. Having worn your shoes a couple times now I know just how hard (and time consuming) it can be. Looking forward to the final round! [/QUOTE]
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