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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 7862507" data-attributes="member: 57112">Gradine's Judgment, Championship MatchAlright, so here's my second go at writing this; hopefully the power holds. As such, this might be a bit more direct than usual. Also, as these are two long-time veterans, former champions, and former judges, I will not be pulling any punches in my judgment. These are both great adventures, overall, but that does not mean each does not have significant flaws. Rules and ReadabilityBoth entries are well-formatted and edited, and easy to read. "The 9th Pace" (hereafter "Pace") and "Valley of Redemption" (hereafter "Redemption") are both well under the word count as well. There are a few very minor errors in "Pace": the entry does not list the ingredients at the top, as requested, and the conclusion points to Luagal's Victory despite there being no such condition listed in Luagal's entry (it should instead point to Elves eliminated); but these are both fairly minor quibbles. Adventure Flow & PotentialThis is my subjective "what did I generally like/dislike about the adventures" section of the judgment. I'll start with "Pace", which is such a classic Iron Sky entry I feel I could have pegged it as yours even were this a blind judgment. It has all the hallmarks of some of your best entries, for good or ill: an interesting and complex backstory that takes up over half the word count, which is then countered by a complex yet very tight and well-organized scenario that could end up going any number of ways. Seperated from the ingredients, this is a very, very good adventure, if not for two major issues that I have with it. First, as a final puzzle, "how do I stop this thing" is, in my opinion, a much stronger and more effective motivation to "how do I find this thing", which in this instance actually ends up being pretty obvious (maybe the weird glowing ruins the violent angry elves are guarding?) Yet the former is solved from the get-go: telling players "take this thing and stab the big bad with it" takes all of the tension out of the climax. Gratefully, there is still plenty of other problems for the PCs to figure out how to solve... unless they can talk the sad NPC out of his stupor and into blasting all their problems away for them. This adventure has all the potential to be an epic and tense two-part struggle for the soul of a town and then the world; if only the tools weren't present to also entirely trivialize the affair."Redemption", on the other hand, has a much a more obvious and direct critical path with little wiggle room, which in some ways suits the black-and-white, good vs evil nature of the proceedings. But as a result it lacks a good deal of the moral ambiguity that makes "Pace" so compelling. In addition, a savvy group of players could easily find a path of least resistance to make the whole endeavor quite a bit shorter and easier. All in all, this feels like a much safer, less ambitious entry than "Pace", meaning that it ultimately lacks both its high points and its shortcomings.There's not much more to say about Hooks; I've already discussed why "Pace's" hook weakens the adventure considerably for me, and "Redemption" features nameless adventures strolling into a town with problems, which while very simple is boilerplate as far as these types of western stories goes, so it isn't too bad. Meanwhile, the Stakes are much stronger and present throughout in "Pace", while the Steaks in "Redemption" feels somewhat confused and ambiguous and the whole adventure feels smaller as a result.†In case you were wondering, the puns are always intentional.The IngredientsSo let's take a look at the ingredients.Underwater WaterfallBoth adventures have waterfalls, and they're both technically underwater, but in both cases is a bit of a stretch, and even the waterfall is a bit of a stretch in "Pace". That said, the ingredient ties well in both main stories; while the underground cave feels like an arbitrary location in "Redemption" for the climax, the fact that the waterfall itself is part of the solution to stopping the big bad helps redeem it, so it's not bad at all.Wandslinger's DisgraceWhile it's important to recognize that every word in an ingredient is important to include, there are times when the order of those ingredients is also pretty important. Were this ingredient Disgraced Wandslinger, both entries would have this covered quite well. The object here, however, is the "disgrace". Yes, both wandslingers are disgraced, but both due to events that happened in the backstory, and are never particularly relevant to the proceedings. This is done a little a bit better but also a lot worse in "Pace"; the disgrace is relevant in-so-much that the PCs will probably need to understand it well in order to redeem Pearson. The greater problem is... Pearson himself is fairly irrelevant to the adventure overall. He's not necessary to resolve either the A Plot (demon awakening) or the B Plot (gang war), and I would make the argument that "Pace" would be considerably improved if Pearson were removed altogether (although it would be better to make him actually relevant, if not necessary, as anything other than muscle).Doctor's OrdersAgain, if "Doctor" were the key word here, these would be fairly well-balanced between both entries. But "Doctor's" is just an adjective; the "Orders" are what's key, and in "Redemption" they relate mostly to a minor storyline involving the preacher's forced addiction. Meanwhile, in "Pace", they relate to both the A Plot and the B Plot and in fact serve as probably the strongest thread tying the two together. Quite possibly the best ingredient usage in either entry as a result.Wicked ValleyThis one, however, is a wash.**(see above†)Herald of StormsThe Preacher reading from the Good Book in "Redemption" starts the literal storm and ensuing flood that kicks off the push to the climax. This is a little stronger than the Elven leader, "Duququm" who for some reason spends all of his time in the town ranting about the end of the days. Again, this gives us a little better tie-in from the B-Plot to the A-Plot, but it's quite a bit heavier-handed.Amphibious LurkerThis was a bit disappointing in both cases. The cone snail being at least related to the Big Bad in "Pace" is okay, but it muddies the waters* regarding who the actual big bad is and accounting for all of the things that actually need to be stopped, as technically there are two kidnappers at this point. The frog-behemoth in "Redemption" is okay, with the flood forcing the Big Bad to find a suitable body to possess, but it ultimately seems a bit of a let down as far as a final climactic battle goes.Glowing BasementBoth have basements that glows due to forces that the PCs need to investigate to solve each town's respective issues. "Pace's" basement is a little more central to main plot, and the mechanics of it a bit more clever and well-thought out than the doctor's lab in "Redemption".BeefThis was a fun ingredient to include because I didn't know how either of you was going to interpret it. I should have realized between the Wandslinger, the Doctor, and probably the Valley too, this was going to lend both adventures a bit of a western feel. In any case, both adventures have beef being a sign of the corruption of their respective local demonic influences as well as resulting in the corruption of individuals, quite possibly the PCs as well. I think one use is a little bit more clever than the other, however.In ConclusionI've been harsh, because while these are two great adventures and solid, if not excellent, Iron DM entries, there were definite flaws in both. I went back and forth on the winning entry as wrote this all up the first time, then again as I pondered it overnight, and again as I write this again this morning. I had hoped writing two separate judgments would give me some clarity, but this has been the toughest decision I've had to make a judge in this year's contest. We would, of course, hope for nothing less in a championship match.Ultimately, however, reflecting back I think one adventure does stand out above the other, and re-reading my responses to the ingredients only solidified that for me:[SPOILER="The Judgment"]Ultimately, in spite of its pretty severe flaws, on balance "The 9th Pace" is a better adventure and has a slight edge on the clever use of ingredients as well. The thing is, both serious flaws are so easily fixable that it simply holds higher potential, overall, than "Valley of Redemption".And, it appears that in this case I was the deciding vote! Thus, by a vote of 2-1, Iron Sky wins the championship and is 2019's Iron DM! Congratulations!Rune, I obviously have zero business giving you advice here; you're the closest thing I have to an Iron DM mentor, after all. More than anyone else in this competition, you've delivered on tone and voice in a way that lends greater strength to your adventures. That said, I hope you get more opportunities to compete in the future! [/SPOILER]Congratulations to our new champion!</blockquote>

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