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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Jeremy" data-source="post: 5404649" data-attributes="member: 4036">Uthal vs Food Fight!Uthal vs Food Fight!Uthal am working with Danon at Martial Hall when fancy pants am come get him.  Him and silly dress want get back work.  Knife ear still am off somewhere buying pretty ribbons and shoes with her share and haven't seen metal man since him go across street from Sune temple to  Red House.Uthal am know how nice ladies be there.  Hope metal man am have lots of shinies.But Uthal am no have money and want try out new lance so go with fancy pants and silly dress outside town to old grave barrows.  Find one Tormites upset about with door burned into side burial mound.  Uthal am walk in but it am dark and Uthal no see much until fancy pants scream like little girl.  Then Uthal see bone man with breaky sharp bones stabbing him pieces into fancy pants.  Oops.  Uthal more good hurt things than protect things.<img src="http://dndd.yolasite.com/resources/monstermanual.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="" />Even though him hurting from hurty bone pieces bard still trick bone man into run in Uthal lance.  Har har!  Him look funny squirming around on Uthal stick like that.  But then ugly dead thing come out of darkness and claw Uthal across back, Uthal am hurt worse before but this make Uthal much more tired it should.  No am have time complain though because more bone men now stabbing and slicing silly dress and fancy pants, them both not look good though silly dress making big flashy lights with him little knife.  Still think him need bigger piece of steel, and maybe wear some too, then maybe him not bleed and smoke so much.  How little man think him fight with knife and dress?Uthal rip lance out one bone man and smash other with haft while trying find place where me can hit both like Danon teach.  But even when fancy pants work out bone splinter digging at him, bone men just work another in, now all three of tribe hurting from hurty little bits.  The fast dead thing also keep am coming in and making Uthal more and more tired.  Fancy pants doing him best, but not going well, need rest of tribe.  Silly dress had enough then and make big burny explosion and follow up with another blasty light that really blow lots of bits off him bone man.Problem be him blow so many parts off that Uthal and fancy pants get shredded by all the hurty bits, and the bone man STILL fighting back even though him missing chunks of him body.  Uthal am just about get real mad and smash boney thing when everything get real dark and floor jump up and hit Uthal in face.  Maybe Uthal more tired than am think, maybe sleep for little while.So nasty dead thing like how Uthal taste and skitter off to am find more friends to eat Uthal, Uthal so tired find it hard care at time.  But silly dress and fancy pants still fighting for them lives, and fancy pants shout at Uthal pretty words about Uthal destiny and strength.  But them him start squealing as more bone men step past Uthal on ground and stick them swords in him.  Uthal really not like this so am roar and stand up.  Me am crush one with big sweeping blow and blast it past other one silly dress almost blowed up.  But Uthal not done yet and fill with great spirits of him people thunder into one me am just smash.Uthal am so dumb.Uthal crush both bone men into pieces, but them pieces are hurty little things and blow up all over burial chamber and all but kill Uthal and fancy pants.  Silly dress keep doing this thing with him stupid cape and some how look fine.  Maybe Uthal should am get cape?No, Uthal look dumb with fruity cape.Uthal am standing around bleeding all over everything when last bone man poke him sword through Uthal from behind.  Must be spirits of Uthal people still in him because Uthal not get attacked by floor again.  Fancy pants and silly dress both am hurl big burny lights at bone man as they am run away.  Uthal am use lever-rage trick Danon teach him to both get distance on last bone man and also throw it back.Then Uthal run away too.Uthal not want write about this anymore.***Next day cannot find metal man or knife ear still, wonder if them am got thing going on...  But Tempus battle brother come see Uthal and after good headbutt greeting say him have orc problem him want tribe to squish.  Bane church pressing remnants of Blood Skull orcs into service and battle brother know where they am garrisoned.  Uthal not know what that am mean, but Blood Skull orcs scatter Uthal people so any chance smash them is good.Take silly dress and fancy pants into ruins and past old well keep to Red Legion plaza.  Fancy pants do him tricksy words thing and we am get little pass things go into orange goblin territory.  From there not hard find orcs, just follow stink.  Fancy pants want sneak around back so we look at broken building them in.  It good sized, have tall watch thingie too.  But Uthal am remember time with people hunt elk, not much different.  Elk probably smarter than orcs.Find cellar stair in back that lead down into them place, would have go jump on orcs but stupid old door in basement squeaky.  There be two orcs guard some kind prison thing with at least one fresh body in it, also have nasty stink beetles.  They all red and big, Uthal think him remember something about something like them.  But then axes start flying at and through door and no time for think anymore.  Fancy pants and silly dress come right up behind Uthal and start using twinkle finger type spells through door and even hurt one big beetle thing.  But they both skitter up to door and spark flame off them tusks and spew it all over us.  Right as soon one finish, the other start doing same so Uthal step in front and hold arms out try protect little men behind him.  Uthal get burned very, very badly.  But though Uthal on fire, Uthal still standing and Uthal very mad now.  Uthal am skewer one beetle and pick up whole thing on lance and smash down on other beetle.  Fancy pants think this funny and say something or other before kill second beetle with spell.Uthal burnt off ears no grow back yet, didn't catch what him say.Dungeon built strange, there cells and door and cellar stairs, but there also raised up guard post thing and axe come flying out it too.  Another orc up there.  Them still mostly hit doors though.  Silly dress not having that problem though and lighting up nearest orc now with him dark spells.  It come up and open door to swing him big axe at me but get it caught in top of door frame.  Fancy pants help me use that to advantage to get some distance so Uthal howl and charge and ram him lance right through stupid orc.  On good path so just keep charging and stab right into him orc sergeant.  First orc very dead.With Uthal up fighting orc silly dress now not harassed and starts letting orc have it with him burny spells, but then axe from upper guard post thingie come whirling down and almost hit him.  Meanwhile fancy pants keeps telling Uthal when and where to jump so big orc keep missing and Uthal all lined up for another charge.  Fancy pants and Uthal working together good and him insulting orc so much it look like it am hurting him.Not as much as silly dress putting smoking hole in him head though.  Uthal also am get great shot when hurl spear through window orc keep through axes through.  Stick that orc good and magic stick even come back all by itself.  Fancy pants also making twinkle fingers up at window as Uthal try and find ladder up.  Everything going so well that we am make it up ladder, kill orc, and press right on through into something look like orc feast lodge.<img src="http://www.ogametut.free.fr/galeries/01/Black%20Orcs.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="" />There am big orc captain still with him mead horn in hand about ten feet from where Uthal burst in, him still looking at me dumb when me put big lance into him and send him sliding on him butt across floor and into table.  Him look real funny when bowl of orc stew fall off table and dump on him head.  Him roar at him orcs to get us.  Some of orcs come charging up but Uthal hold them off while fancy pants and silly dress make mess of them safely behind where Uthal am hold door.  But him stupid orc grunts just make orc captain mad and him stand and charge Uthal with him great axe.  Him get right past Uthal guard and him blade bite deep, everything start go black.  Uthal probably should am at least wrap some bandage on all him burns and cuts before attack whole room of orcs.Uthal not very bright.But Uthal very strong, and am kill orc grunt in one thrust as blood start singing in ears and power of Uthal people start making me feel better already.  Me unleash rage of people on orc captain and him stagger under Uthal assault.  Fancy pants cheer Uthal on and make Uthal feel even better still so that just then when orc Bane priest come running in and give Uthal evil eye, Uthal just laugh at him squished up squinty face and stupid bug eye.  Even more laugh when silly dress unload on Bane priest and make fire explode all around him sending dead burning orcs flying all around Bane priest while him swat at him burning clothes.  Finally orc captain press back in on Uthal but him use him lance to foul up big sweep of orc great axe.Orc captain have desperate look in him eye much like Uthal must am look after many times him big hammer miss just as Uthal pointy stick flick out and take him in throat.  Lance maybe not leave as big holes in orcs as hammer did, but sometimes little holes work just fine.  Better make little holes in orcs than big holes in floor and columns next to orcs.  Bane priest yell him orcs back up around him and they all step over charred orc pieces silly dress made to get to priest.  Fancy pants and silly dress both started hurling them shiny spells at the Bane priest but him orc grunts keep getting in way.  When they finally split for second so we can see priest it only because him just finish cast him evil spell and all tribe feel him power hammer us into floor.Uthal should remember what Danon been teach him and keep hold door, but him not trained as long as metal man and something hit Uthal, Uthal hit back.  So Uthal howl and charge across feast hall to try and stab Bane priest around him grunts over their smelly stew cauldron.  But Bane priest hold him ground and shout, "Now!" to stupid orc grunt Uthal just now am see back behind him knot of orcs.  Stupid orc grunt pull stupid handle thing and open stupid pit trap under stupid falling Uthal.Then orcs dump boiling orc stew cauldron down into pit on Uthal.Stupid orc stew.Now that Uthal down in pit in stinky stew no one holding door for silly dress and fancy pants and orc grunts swarm them.  Hard to tell how them doing from bottom of pit but it sound like them fighting hard.  Uthal try and find footing at bottom of soupy pit and manage to climb out but more orcs swarm around me including Bane priest who smashes me with his stick and finally manages to extinguish silly dress's hellfire.  Meanwhile fancy pants and silly dress are fighting rod and knife and wand and sword to press back the orcs around them while continuing to fire bolts at the Bane priest.Uthal ignore orc grunts swaming around him and press through them towards rest of tribe.  But before moving rest of way to them Uthal growl at taunting Bane priest and fling him into soupy pit.  Not hear from him again, guess him land bad.  Then push through orcs taking little knicks and scratches to rest of tribe and hold line for them.  Turning him focus on grunts now silly dress starts burning holes orcs left and right.  Rest of orc grunts try and surround and crush us with numbers but tribe just keep blasting or pushing them back into them own pit trap and killing them one by one until none left.Tribe grin and have a chuckle then begin seeing if we find any good stuff up hear or back in cellar.  We left word for knife ear and metal man back in town where we were, hope they get here soon, or fancy pants and silly dress and Uthal just have to split all spoils between us!  Har har!***</blockquote>

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