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[4WFG] Kickstarter for Deus ex Historica - a Super-powered by M&M project
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<blockquote data-quote="SiderisAnon" data-source="post: 5861612" data-attributes="member: 44949"><p>Please feel free.</p><p></p><p>I also appreciate that you responded to my questions. It gave me a much more clear idea of what's in the book. As a business owner myself, I always appreciate it when another business can take the time to give me a quality response.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Based on that new understanding, I would like to offer some constructive criticism. Take a look at that ad copy/blurb and tweak it a bit. Looking at it, I would consider the two paragraphs from "With Deus ex Historica, you take a look" and "You can step into the role of" to be your blurb. The first paragraph starts to grab you, the second paragraph starts to focus, but there should be a refining of the first two paragraphs or addition of a third to really hone the reader in on what is in the book.</p><p></p><p>The information you're probably trying to get across (and I do not suggest this awkward wording) is something like: Each writeup covers the history, personality, and personal style of the hero or villain. For the teams, learn how the team was formed and where they focus their heroic efforts. For the villains, we've also covered their modi operandi, some of their greatest crimes, and information to help the GM make them an interesting part of the campaign. </p><p></p><p>Keep in mind that "good to go straight from the book" in gaming books tends to mean, "We put numbers of everything." It does not mean there are any text or pictures, just that there's a character sheet. You want to make it clear that you're offering all this other stuff, not just a character sheet that I can whip up in a short while myself. If you're selling fluff with that crunch, make sure you're <em>selling</em> the fluff in your ad copy.</p><p></p><p>If you have pictures for every main character or something, mention that too. If everyone comes with a creation explanation (what made them a super), put that in. Anything that makes your product unique.</p><p></p><p></p><p>To be clear: Your blurb isn't terrible. It's enough that I asked questions here and would have opened the book if I'd seen it at my FLGS. I'm just trying to suggest ways to help it sell. I think the Kickstarter system is fascinating and I always cheer for the gaming products trying to succeed through it.</p><p></p><p>I also like that you're doing the book from the files of a temporal archeologist. (Though my table would get into at least an hour long debate as to whether they were technically an anthropologist if they can travel back in time and directly observe, but that's just my group for you.) I like gaming books that come with a perspective, rather than just trying to be dry facts like a school history book.</p><p></p><p></p><p>But I've yammered on enough armchair'ing your product. I'll get out of your hair now. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SiderisAnon, post: 5861612, member: 44949"] Please feel free. I also appreciate that you responded to my questions. It gave me a much more clear idea of what's in the book. As a business owner myself, I always appreciate it when another business can take the time to give me a quality response. Based on that new understanding, I would like to offer some constructive criticism. Take a look at that ad copy/blurb and tweak it a bit. Looking at it, I would consider the two paragraphs from "With Deus ex Historica, you take a look" and "You can step into the role of" to be your blurb. The first paragraph starts to grab you, the second paragraph starts to focus, but there should be a refining of the first two paragraphs or addition of a third to really hone the reader in on what is in the book. The information you're probably trying to get across (and I do not suggest this awkward wording) is something like: Each writeup covers the history, personality, and personal style of the hero or villain. For the teams, learn how the team was formed and where they focus their heroic efforts. For the villains, we've also covered their modi operandi, some of their greatest crimes, and information to help the GM make them an interesting part of the campaign. Keep in mind that "good to go straight from the book" in gaming books tends to mean, "We put numbers of everything." It does not mean there are any text or pictures, just that there's a character sheet. You want to make it clear that you're offering all this other stuff, not just a character sheet that I can whip up in a short while myself. If you're selling fluff with that crunch, make sure you're [i]selling[/i] the fluff in your ad copy. If you have pictures for every main character or something, mention that too. If everyone comes with a creation explanation (what made them a super), put that in. Anything that makes your product unique. To be clear: Your blurb isn't terrible. It's enough that I asked questions here and would have opened the book if I'd seen it at my FLGS. I'm just trying to suggest ways to help it sell. I think the Kickstarter system is fascinating and I always cheer for the gaming products trying to succeed through it. I also like that you're doing the book from the files of a temporal archeologist. (Though my table would get into at least an hour long debate as to whether they were technically an anthropologist if they can travel back in time and directly observe, but that's just my group for you.) I like gaming books that come with a perspective, rather than just trying to be dry facts like a school history book. But I've yammered on enough armchair'ing your product. I'll get out of your hair now. :) [/QUOTE]
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[4WFG] Kickstarter for Deus ex Historica - a Super-powered by M&M project
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