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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Quickleaf" data-source="post: 7209069" data-attributes="member: 20323">[MENTION=6902545]Trudy[/MENTION] It's pretty common for those of us posting to online D&D forums to be more serious gamers than many others in our gaming groups. I've learned to really appreciate those differences. For example, if I was in your shoes, I'd try enjoying the chaotic in-character fighting more. Take time to enjoy the antics of your friends, even if they're not smart tactical decisions. IME with group dynamics, when you step back your "serious" gaming impulses, you may find that creates a certain energetic space for other players to engage in more "serious" gaming on their own terms/timeline. And some may just remain more casual, and that's totally fine and can even be enjoyable. Some of my best laughs running D&D have come from more casual players cracking jokes or coming up with an idea totally from left-field that a more experienced gamers may never have considered.I think that DM could use some help. Unless you're playing a high-level D&D finale session, there's no reason a combat in 5E should take up 4 hours. I'd bring that up with the DM and offer to help with some things I've seen help new DMs:<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Initiative cards hung over top of DM screen, double-sided so DM follows initiative in one direction and players follow in other direction.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Print PC & monster AC on those initiative cards. It takes a while for groups to adjust to this (i.e. to stop asking "what's the goblin's AC?"), but can lessen the burden on a DM, particularly a new DM. You may find including other info-at-a-glance to be useful (e.g. damaging auras, spell save DCs, passive Perception).</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">If you don't use a DM screen, then at least make sure the new DM has a list of the PCs with their ACs (and other pertinent info).</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Print out or photocopy monster stats so the DM doesn't flip through the book.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Set up a co-DM to help handle the parts of the game the new DM struggles with; for example: how should I run this ettin? what do these spells that the mage NPC knows do?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Identify what is causing the combat to grind for so long. For example, sometimes it seems like it's the DM but it's actually the players taking too long on their turns & the DM not being proactive enough to get players deciding swiftly. A good default rule for such groups is "If the DM decides you're taking too long, you take the Dodge action." </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Assuming the lag time is indeed coming from the new DM & not players taking too long, what is that about? Is the DM trying to run more monsters than he/she can handle? Great place for a co-DM to step up. Is the DM struggling with moving a bunch of minis/tokens, counting out each square? Try running a theater-of-the-mind style game, not even taking out the map & minis for a change.</li> </ul></blockquote>

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