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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Lanliss" data-source="post: 7024725" data-attributes="member: 6801219">The writing style and lay out were great. The "voice" worked quite well for the subject, making it feel less like a history class, and more like a tour guide of sorts. This is important, because most players/PCs will want a brief tour, rather than a full timeline of events. The only issue I saw was a nit-picky thing, where you used "This is not to say" two paragraphs in a row, in the Mundane paragraph and the Plant paragraph. Not important, just something that made me double back thinking "didn't I just read that sentence?".On specific likes, the Molten Hunger and Deathshower tree were both nice additions. I like it when this sort of passage has one or two tiny blurbs about notable subjects in the area (This is handled in the core books by little sticky note style writings like "Booyagh means 'magic' in Goblin").The description of the city streets was well written, but left a lot to question. Your specific wording ("Some pristine, some utterly desecrated") makes it sound like you can see the two right next to each other, or a pristine street surrounded by destroyed ones. If this is what you meant, something like Patchwork might apply better as a description. If you meant a more gradual change, you might want to go into a sort of district description (something along the lines of "Streets range from Pristine in the North district, to utterly desecrated as you head south, with pockets of both scattered in the other"). Other than that, I would like to know more about the potential threats related to the past. Was there a zoo in the past, that is now surrounded by some truly odd chimeras? Was there a "High class" district, know for its security and traps? Continuing with the "Tour guide" mentality, these are the sorts of things that would get a passing mention, along the lines of "And to the east, you will see the Chimera territory, an ideal spot for hunting odd creatures, or facing a gruesome death!" .That is all I can think of for now.</blockquote>

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