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[5e] Printable Adventure: Krillo's Tomb
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<blockquote data-quote="Blue" data-source="post: 7601081" data-attributes="member: 20564"><p>Okay, thoughts as I read through, then I'll pull them together at the end.</p><p></p><p>Like the art at the beginning, but the red outline on "It Came From the Shadow Realm..." doesn't work well.</p><p></p><p>Printable adventure - I'd make sure my color art is still readable in B&W. And as many have ink-jet printers perhaps use thinker fonts if over art, if the "It Came From The Shadow Realms..." is an indication.</p><p></p><p>New Mechanics - would have expected to see they laid out here. Also, there already are group checks in the base mechanic (PHB 174) that work for group stealth - there needs to be a seriously compelling reason to overwrite those rules.</p><p></p><p>Scene 0 - good, glad it has RP notes.</p><p></p><p>Scene 1 - these seems to assume that players will only use one way. No discussion about bluffing their way past, disguise, bribery, forging a letter of entry from the people hiring the guards, etc. Player creativity will lead them lots of different ways, be prepared for some common ones. And make them all interesting.</p><p></p><p>As a side note, the party can easily overcome and knock out all of the guards - they aren't a challenge for four 3rd level characters. So there's no tension. Maybe add in a leader with darksight, and some guard hounds?</p><p></p><p>This shows some plot holes from Scene 0. Who hired these guards? The excavators most likely, if they expect their later team to have access. As an original excavator, why can't he either order off the guards, or talk to the excavators currently in charge about sending you down an his worries. He's a bard, so he's probably well known. And he would likely have to be to be a goblin who's hired as an expert.</p><p></p><p>I will be looking for a resolution for this as I read, such as they through him off the dig for doing something bad. Otherwise it's a major plot hole.</p><p></p><p>Scene 1 map - as a side note, I was going to refer to this by page number (as you do in your original post), but there are no page numbers.</p><p></p><p>Is behind the church a steep drop-off that the players could attempt to climb?</p><p></p><p>Also, with the idea of "print and play" a version without DM marks (aware & unaware guards) would make a good handout so players can strategize their quiet entry.</p><p></p><p>Scene 2</p><p>Please update every trap to have the standard information in 5e that traps have, such as DCs to notice and attack bonus to hit/DCs to avoid. These don't feel like you are presenting 5e traps at all. </p><p></p><p>DMG pg 120. You may also want to look at suggested trap damages, these are quite low. That may be because you assume auto-hit.</p><p></p><p>Really, this feels like you are only allowing this to be solved as players and not characters. Characters, whom may be quite experienced with traps, do not have any mechanical way to interact with them.</p><p></p><p>At this point I'm going to jump past the rest of the adventure to the handouts. This critique is growing quite large and I would suggest a developmental editor to give this a pass.</p><p></p><p>Okay, onto Rules and Resources</p><p></p><p>Stealth - okay, this is supplimental, not replacing. Not bad. It's a bunch of pages towards one method of entry, but okay. I'd really use passive perception since that's what it is for, with a modifier because advantage and disadvantage won't effect it. This also puts the rolls in player hands.</p><p></p><p>Stacking Advantage is directly against the core rules for stacking advantage. Without an <strong>overwhelming</strong> reason why advantage works differently here then anywhere else in the campaign, drop it.</p><p></p><p>Hey, I see there is a player version of the handout. Woo. Though it shows a problem with the original. Each tent has a red vaguely triangle marker that's the same shade of red as "Aware guard". I read that map as each tent had an aware guard (on shift?) in front of it and a sleeping guard (off-shift?) in it. May want to change that shade of red.</p><p></p><p>Character handouts - I quite like the artwork. And that it's repeated later in a way I can make paper minis. I <em>strongly</em> wish the Paper Mage logo was more towards the left border so that there could be more separation. Right now if I attempted to make rectangular cutouts then part of Fod or Tibles would be cut off. Maybe a bit more separation between Fod and Hund the dog as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blue, post: 7601081, member: 20564"] Okay, thoughts as I read through, then I'll pull them together at the end. Like the art at the beginning, but the red outline on "It Came From the Shadow Realm..." doesn't work well. Printable adventure - I'd make sure my color art is still readable in B&W. And as many have ink-jet printers perhaps use thinker fonts if over art, if the "It Came From The Shadow Realms..." is an indication. New Mechanics - would have expected to see they laid out here. Also, there already are group checks in the base mechanic (PHB 174) that work for group stealth - there needs to be a seriously compelling reason to overwrite those rules. Scene 0 - good, glad it has RP notes. Scene 1 - these seems to assume that players will only use one way. No discussion about bluffing their way past, disguise, bribery, forging a letter of entry from the people hiring the guards, etc. Player creativity will lead them lots of different ways, be prepared for some common ones. And make them all interesting. As a side note, the party can easily overcome and knock out all of the guards - they aren't a challenge for four 3rd level characters. So there's no tension. Maybe add in a leader with darksight, and some guard hounds? This shows some plot holes from Scene 0. Who hired these guards? The excavators most likely, if they expect their later team to have access. As an original excavator, why can't he either order off the guards, or talk to the excavators currently in charge about sending you down an his worries. He's a bard, so he's probably well known. And he would likely have to be to be a goblin who's hired as an expert. I will be looking for a resolution for this as I read, such as they through him off the dig for doing something bad. Otherwise it's a major plot hole. Scene 1 map - as a side note, I was going to refer to this by page number (as you do in your original post), but there are no page numbers. Is behind the church a steep drop-off that the players could attempt to climb? Also, with the idea of "print and play" a version without DM marks (aware & unaware guards) would make a good handout so players can strategize their quiet entry. Scene 2 Please update every trap to have the standard information in 5e that traps have, such as DCs to notice and attack bonus to hit/DCs to avoid. These don't feel like you are presenting 5e traps at all. DMG pg 120. You may also want to look at suggested trap damages, these are quite low. That may be because you assume auto-hit. Really, this feels like you are only allowing this to be solved as players and not characters. Characters, whom may be quite experienced with traps, do not have any mechanical way to interact with them. At this point I'm going to jump past the rest of the adventure to the handouts. This critique is growing quite large and I would suggest a developmental editor to give this a pass. Okay, onto Rules and Resources Stealth - okay, this is supplimental, not replacing. Not bad. It's a bunch of pages towards one method of entry, but okay. I'd really use passive perception since that's what it is for, with a modifier because advantage and disadvantage won't effect it. This also puts the rolls in player hands. Stacking Advantage is directly against the core rules for stacking advantage. Without an [B]overwhelming[/B] reason why advantage works differently here then anywhere else in the campaign, drop it. Hey, I see there is a player version of the handout. Woo. Though it shows a problem with the original. Each tent has a red vaguely triangle marker that's the same shade of red as "Aware guard". I read that map as each tent had an aware guard (on shift?) in front of it and a sleeping guard (off-shift?) in it. May want to change that shade of red. Character handouts - I quite like the artwork. And that it's repeated later in a way I can make paper minis. I [I]strongly[/I] wish the Paper Mage logo was more towards the left border so that there could be more separation. Right now if I attempted to make rectangular cutouts then part of Fod or Tibles would be cut off. Maybe a bit more separation between Fod and Hund the dog as well. [/QUOTE]
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