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A D&D Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="Negflar2099" data-source="post: 5020958" data-attributes="member: 65944"><p>Okay a friend sent this to me and (with his permission) I've decided to post it here. I thought it was funny enough to warrant sharing. </p><p></p><p>A D&D Christmas</p><p>‘Twas a D&D Christmas and all over the board</p><p>Were assembled the forces of the undying Horde</p><p></p><p>The zombies were snarling, the goblins spread out</p><p>The hell hounds were hungry and ready to pounce</p><p></p><p>The Fighter’s Sword was well in his grip</p><p>While a sneer of defiance played on his lips</p><p></p><p>The Cleric with her symbol and I with my wand</p><p>Were joining forces in a mystical bond</p><p></p><p>When out on the field there arose such a clamor</p><p>That the Cleric nearly dropped her cast iron hammer</p><p></p><p>Away to a hill the Thief flew like a flash</p><p>To get a good view on the unfolding</p><p> clash</p><p></p><p>The blood moon rising above the plateau</p><p>Gave a grim view of the battle below</p><p></p><p>When what to our terrified eyes should appear</p><p>But the Demon Glialzabub and his obsidian spear</p><p></p><p>He was summoned so suddenly, so strong and so quick</p><p>That I realized that they had used the darkest magic</p><p></p><p>More rapid than quicklings his evil forces they came,</p><p>And he screamed and he shouted and he called them by name</p><p></p><p>“Now, Goblins! Now, Skeletons! Now Orcs and Witches!</p><p>On, Golems! On, Beholders! On Mind Flayers and Liches!</p><p></p><p>To the top of the hill and over the wall!</p><p>Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!”</p><p></p><p>As spells of magic cast from lips fly</p><p>And mystical lightning drops from the sky</p><p></p><p>So up to our battlements the evil force flew</p><p>While Gliazabub cast his vile vodoo</p><p></p><p>I drew back my hand and I spun all around</p><p>And Gliazabub came on with a bound</p><p></p><p>His red skin was all leathery from his horn to</p><p> his foot</p><p>And his smelled strongly of brimstone and soot.</p><p></p><p>His raised his spear up above my head</p><p>and I knew right then that I would be dead</p><p></p><p>Then I thought of something and I cried out with glee</p><p>We forgot to roll initiative because the GM’s dopey!</p><p></p><p>The GM’s mouth tightened like a quivering bow</p><p>And with a shrug of his shoulders he let out a D’oh!</p><p></p><p>The dice clattered as they rolled over the map</p><p>We needed to roll well or we’d be caught in his trap</p><p></p><p>“A 20!” I yelled, not believing my luck</p><p>Usually with dice rolling it’s clear that I suck</p><p></p><p>But this time I was lucky. I would go first</p><p>Had I finally done it? Had I thrown off the curse?</p><p></p><p>No matter I thought as I stared at my character sheet</p><p>This demon lord’s days were numbered. He was dead meat.</p><p></p><p>With a wink of my eye and a twist of my hand</p><p>I cast the most powerful spell seen in this land</p><p></p><p>The energy erupted from my</p><p> fingers and struck him so hard</p><p>That he dropped his spear and let down his guard</p><p></p><p>The Fighter was next and he went straight to work</p><p>He eviscerated the demon and twisted his sword with a jerk</p><p></p><p>The demon’s body was split, in pieces it fell</p><p>His spirit rose up and went straight back to hell</p><p></p><p>The army quickly scattered. Without it’s leader it was nothing</p><p>We defeated them all, and left the GM sobbing</p><p></p><p>And he cried and he cried for we ruined his plan</p><p>Then he fled from the room like a crazy madman</p><p></p><p>And I heard him exclaim, before he dove out of view</p><p></p><p>“I hate you all! You’ve ruined this game and I’m done playing with</p><p>you!”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Negflar2099, post: 5020958, member: 65944"] Okay a friend sent this to me and (with his permission) I've decided to post it here. I thought it was funny enough to warrant sharing. A D&D Christmas ‘Twas a D&D Christmas and all over the board Were assembled the forces of the undying Horde The zombies were snarling, the goblins spread out The hell hounds were hungry and ready to pounce The Fighter’s Sword was well in his grip While a sneer of defiance played on his lips The Cleric with her symbol and I with my wand Were joining forces in a mystical bond When out on the field there arose such a clamor That the Cleric nearly dropped her cast iron hammer Away to a hill the Thief flew like a flash To get a good view on the unfolding clash The blood moon rising above the plateau Gave a grim view of the battle below When what to our terrified eyes should appear But the Demon Glialzabub and his obsidian spear He was summoned so suddenly, so strong and so quick That I realized that they had used the darkest magic More rapid than quicklings his evil forces they came, And he screamed and he shouted and he called them by name “Now, Goblins! Now, Skeletons! Now Orcs and Witches! On, Golems! On, Beholders! On Mind Flayers and Liches! To the top of the hill and over the wall! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!” As spells of magic cast from lips fly And mystical lightning drops from the sky So up to our battlements the evil force flew While Gliazabub cast his vile vodoo I drew back my hand and I spun all around And Gliazabub came on with a bound His red skin was all leathery from his horn to his foot And his smelled strongly of brimstone and soot. His raised his spear up above my head and I knew right then that I would be dead Then I thought of something and I cried out with glee We forgot to roll initiative because the GM’s dopey! The GM’s mouth tightened like a quivering bow And with a shrug of his shoulders he let out a D’oh! The dice clattered as they rolled over the map We needed to roll well or we’d be caught in his trap “A 20!” I yelled, not believing my luck Usually with dice rolling it’s clear that I suck But this time I was lucky. I would go first Had I finally done it? Had I thrown off the curse? No matter I thought as I stared at my character sheet This demon lord’s days were numbered. He was dead meat. With a wink of my eye and a twist of my hand I cast the most powerful spell seen in this land The energy erupted from my fingers and struck him so hard That he dropped his spear and let down his guard The Fighter was next and he went straight to work He eviscerated the demon and twisted his sword with a jerk The demon’s body was split, in pieces it fell His spirit rose up and went straight back to hell The army quickly scattered. Without it’s leader it was nothing We defeated them all, and left the GM sobbing And he cried and he cried for we ruined his plan Then he fled from the room like a crazy madman And I heard him exclaim, before he dove out of view “I hate you all! You’ve ruined this game and I’m done playing with you!” [/QUOTE]
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