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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 5008098" data-attributes="member: 4937">Cool.   I know this heavily religious DM.  Let's call him 'Celebrim'.  Maybe he can help you out with your problem.  And if it does actually become a problem, and you don't know what to do with her, have her talk to me about it and maybe I can help.This is actually established?  This is literal?  I think the first thing that I'd want to tell Jane is that this is a fantasy and its a fantasy for a very very good (Christian) reason.  First, if 'God' is an available diety, than this puts the DM in the position of playing 'God'.  This might actually border on the blasphemous, as no one is really in a position to judge God or speak for him.   I certainly don't want to put myself in that position.  Secondly, I think that is very important to keep a mental distance from the game.  If we try to make the game too real, then we risk elevating what is at best (and worst) a simple vanity amongst friends into something outsized and out of proportion for what should be simply a game.  By keeping the distance between the unreal world of D&D, and the real world where there is God and us separate, we give our minds the space to realize that what happens in the game isn't necessarily reflective of some truth about this world.  She might be interested in reading Tolkien's thoughts in this regard.I try very much to keep the game PG myself, but on the other hand I'm not about to censor evil or try to make it seem attractive through that censorship.  Evil is vile.  And while you don't need to be gratuitious when evil is on stage, it's important to communicate its vileness without flinching.I personally think that if you are giving her a fair shake, your friend Jane sounds more upset about the words than the animating emotions of the words.  That said, I tend to dislike obscenity and casual profanity as well and can empathize.  May I suggest to you that the particular set of signifiers we have in our culture that offends the ears of grandmothers are arbitrary and fungible.  Its the ugly thought behind the words that is important, and there is no reason whatsoever that the words another culture uses to express ugly emotions and ugly sentiments about other people should be the exact same ones ours uses.  (In fact, quite arguably the real vulgarities today are already quite different than the real vulgarities of 50 years ago.  There are still words that you can't say in polite company, but they aren't the five or six 'bad words' that offend your friend the most).In my campaign, for example, the word 'blood' is never ever ever used in polite society.  It's the four-letter word beginning with 'f' of my campaign world.  People go out of their way to avoid saying the word, or saying that someone was bleeding, or anything of the sort.  A curse like 'Blood drinker!' or 'By the Mother's blood!' is the sort of thing that provokes instant duels to the death.  You say something like, "He was shedding the water of life." or, "I'm afraid he has lost a great quantity of life's essential fluids.", or whatever.  You never ever say, 'Blood!', 'Blood and bloody Ashes!', 'By the Blood of the Gods!', etc.Similarly, people that want to curse tend to swear in the name of some deity - 'By Barmal's Talons, I'll smite you for that!' - just as well, we do when we want to.  Or they might say, with mock, casual or even complete sincerity, 'Oh Merciful Builder!'   Or as Conan would say, 'Crom!'This serves several purposes.  One, my truly vulgar NPC's don't have to offend anyone's senstive ears.  Two, it helps create a distinctive alien culture.  And three, it allows my PC's that wouldn't curse to play a character that would.   I'd recommend thinking along those lines.Finally, I would point out to your friend that the document she turns to for advice is not at all unflinching in its portrayal of violence and evil, nor in its use of crude language either and not uncoincidentally most of the words which are used as profanity in recent American culture are found within.  As Bart Simpson says, "How can I talk about hell, without saying 'hell', man?"</blockquote>

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