A Funny Story - Share your own

[Mista Collins]

Well I was trying to think of some odd and funny role-playing experiences and the same one always comes up for me. I decided to share it with everyone here in hopes that everyone shares some of their own funny role-playing experiences. Here's my story:

Just a little background. Our party consists of 2 elven thieves, a minotaur fighter, and a dwarven cleric. We were hired to find out what has been happening to some local spellcasters because they have gone missing. We found out that they have been getting kidnapped and taken underground somewhere. We eventually get a lead that takes us into this abandoned keep in the forest. It is a typical keep with a well in the courtyard and the like. We end up killing a bunch of bandits that were living in this keep and start searching it for a hidden door to the underground. The player who is playing the minotaur gets a smile on his face and writes something on a notepad and hands it to the DM. The DM looks at him and says, "Are you sure?" The player nods his head up and down really fast like whatever it is is really important. The DM tries to hold his smile back and looks at the rest of the players and says, "You guys here a loud Moo-ing sound and then a loud splash in the courtyard." Our characters come to investigate and find the minotaur in full-plate mail armor, weapons and all try to stay a float at the bottom of this well.

This was one of the funniest things I have ever seen or witnessed. The handing of the note as if it was something very secretive and then the player actually thinking that was were it was. I guess that in order to role-play a minotaur correctly you have to think like one.

Feel free to share any funny stories you have or comment on this one.

 

[Particle_Man]

I had a friend whose PC found a wand with a button on it. On pushing the button, she caused a fireball spell to happen (this was in 1st ed.).

Later, she goes to a magic shop in town and tries to sell it. The shopkeeper asks how to activate the wand of fireballs.

She says "Like this!" (mimes pushing button)

Somehow, she escaped prison.

 

[Wombat]

My story does not involve one campaign, but two (and it threatened to be true in a third as well, but the player moved...).

In a more-or-less standard D&D-style tavern, two players were going in to confront one of the under-heavies of the session. They felt that with a little bit of lying, a bit of intimidation, and some conniving they could get him to back down.

Then enters Our Hero.

Instead of playing along with the other two, he announces, "I have a plan!" At that point he does a run and Jumps (apparently trying to land on the table the under-heavies and his posse were hanging out). Our Hero has no armour on, has only a dagger, and has no magic.

He rolls a 1. He falls flat into the lap of the Under-Heavy and nearly ends up as a cube steak.

Needless to say, the party ended up with extra trouble, rather than smoothing things out.

The next campaign (we took a break from D&D for about 4 sessions) was a Star Wars game.

We enter another bar.

There is The Heavy of the session.

Our Hero announces, "Guys, I have a plan."

He recieves stares of disbelief.

"No, no, this one is different!"

He then runs forward, tries to Intimidate one of the Heavy's guards, fails, and then Jumps.

He rolls a 1.

We now refer to him as Captain Lap Dance...

 

[d4]

so the party is in these half-flooded mines, looking for some lost treasure.

we search all the dry parts of the mines and turn up squat, so we finally realize that if the treasure is here, it must be in one of the flooded areas.

only one PC had a decent Swim check, so he decides to brave the dark, cold waters. he strips down to just his skivvies and a knife in his teeth and takes the plunge.

he swims around for a while but doesn't find anything. eventually, he realizes he's running out of air and needs to turn back. at this point, the DM says, "You feel something brush against your leg..."

"like what? something alive?"

"yeah."

"crap! there's something else in the water with me and i'm almost out of air!"

he swims a little farther, and the thing brushes up against him again. by now, the player is totally panicking, thinking his character is going to get eaten by the evil cave monster before he can make it back to the air.

after a few more Swim checks, the thing brushes against him a third time just as he comes back to the surface where the rest of the party is waiting.

the PC wastes no time, hauling himself out of the water screaming "THERE'S SOMETHING ATTACKING ME!!" he turns around, whips out his dagger and throws it into the water.

critical hit!

so he wades back into the water to see what evil monster he had killed with his swift and decisive action.

a 9-inch long blind albino cave trout.

 

[Dugite]

Had a party infiltrate a town occupied by their enemies to check out the defences etc.
Any they consisited of a erm good cleric Carpa, a ranger known to his country men as Lord Lethgynn the Troll slayer and a thief called Carg.

Anyway they were all sitting down in a tavern (as you do) drinking ale and erm looking for information.

This town is close to their hometown by the way.

Lord Lethgynn with his hood over his face goes to the bar and orders an ale.
The peasant next to his says havn't i seen you before to which the reply is "yes im Lord Lethgynn."

I as dm hide my astonished face behind my dm screen and roll a dice and reply "You mean Lord Lethgynn the Troll slayer."
To which he replies "err uhm yes."

Then a buzz goes around the tavern "wow is that Lord lethgynn/ he is here.Is that him"

My thief with the proverbial ears like a fox hears this and stands up and says no its not Lord lethgynn its his evil twin brother!!!!!!

The loyal and steadfast cleric quietly leaves at this point.

I not daring to raise my raise my face above the level of dm screen say.
You dont say i didnt know Lord lethgynn had a brother.

They still didnt leave.

They did not escape.
The cleric was later found hiding out in a brothel.

 

[Acquana]

When PCs go Awry ...

I run a modern setting. Sometimes the PCs just do their own and it comes out with amazing results.

The Characters Involved:

Trudi-- Cute, buff, not too bright. She's sweet, just in her own world. Is bonded with a semi-reluctant ghost named Charles. She's the fighter at the time. And has a crush on Alex.
Alex-- NPC. Relaxed usually, tries to think of himself as a buddy in the group. Doesn't pay attention to Trudi having a crush on him.
Nore Star-- Centaur. Has an item that allows him to polymorph to human, and is really foppish. REALLY foppish. He's an exception among centaurs. Has fallen head over heels for Trudi.
Delria-- Halfling druid. Likes helping people through problems.

Nore Star has gotten ahold of an item which will turn any human who wears it into a centaur. He goes in the bathroom to freshen up, Del sees the box marked for Trudi. She gives it to Trudi, who puts it on without a second thought.

She turns into a centaur. She stands there for a second looking dumbfounded, and the only thing that manages to come out of her mouth is: "My pants ripped!"

Well, to make a long story short, when Nore Star gets out of the bathroom he's faced with a horrible scene. Alex had taken the item off Trudi (not being able to think of any other way to reverse it), so Norestar walks in on Alex standing with Trudi, alone, Trudi naked from the waist down.

There's a long silence. "Oh, hey Norestar," Trudi says, "Thanks for the necklace."

Norestar then left to get drunk, but that's another story.

 

[Dugite]

2 more

The recently resurrected Carpa the cleric stands over the body of his slain foe admiring the +5 plate suit he is wearing.
He thinks wow that looks good to me i'll have that.

I as dm say hmmm it does have the markings of your diametrically opposed god on it you know your mortal foe.

He replies "hmmm a mere technicality i'll just get it blessed and puts it on."

He goes home and wonders as he approaches his local temple why he gets blasted with lightning.


Carg the thief was slowly dieing of poison.
He looks around and says ill try for divine intervention.
I hand three 10 sided dice and say roll three zeros.

I look at the three zeros come up.

I say whos your diety.
UMMM errrr ummm looks through book MARS comes the reply.
Mars i say.

Mars appears out of nowhere with a towel wrapped around him and a rubber duck in his hand and says " thought i heard something"

Oh mighty Mars it is i Carg i ask for salvation.
Mars "Do i know you."
Carg "It is i Carg you loyal follower"
Mars "Hey your a filthy thief I am the god of war you know?
Carg "We all serve my lord"
Mars "hmmm survive this battle im sending you too and ill help you then"
Carg But the poison my Lord
Mars better hope you side wins quickly then hey

Poof mars disappears.

 

[Dirigible]

(This is not a DnD tale, as will become evident). So; my character, Cashel, has pursued the goblin king through the warrens, fighting off goblin skirmishers as he goes. He reaches the throne room, and while his companion Rowan holds off the goblins outside, Cashel goes in. There's a tent in one corner of the room, and a big stone throne in the middle. Looking around, Cashel goes over and peer inside the tent. What he sees is a goblin shaman, cross legged on the floor, surrounded by a translucent dome of force, holding what appears to be a crude voodoo doll made of compressed dung. In his teeth.

Striking before the shaman can bite the fecal voodoo doll, Cashel slams his staff down in a might double hadned overhead swing. Hitting is easy, as it's an immobile target. Roll Strength for damage : triple 6 on 3d6. Shaman rolls the shield's Toughness : triple 6. GM looks throughful for a moment, then asks me to make a Luck test. Triple 6.

Cashel reverberates like a gong, and the staff shoots out of his hand like a rocket, and slams into the throne. Which proceeds to topple over. There's a loud squeal, a squash, and green blood starts to trickle out from under the throne. Bye bye, goblin king.