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Message: <blockquote data-quote="EzekielRaiden" data-source="post: 9508393" data-attributes="member: 6790260">Some examples of what loses trust, thematic and mechanic:<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Mocking preferences in general. Naturally, I have a stronger reaction when my own preferences are mocked (I suffer the human condition of feeling more upset when something hurts me than when it hurts someone else, but I'm still upset either way), but this is a great way to lose a lot of trust.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Breaking the rules, or treating the rules as an enemy to be eliminated when possible. I know, I know, this is a thread about Rule 0. But the rules exist in order for us to have a common ground to start from. If the rules keep shifting under my feet, it's hard to trust that the final result is going to work out.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Doing something that seems pretty hinky (say, taking away the party's stuff in the middle of the night, without letting us respond), and then following that up with some equivalent of "don't you trust me?" Because that's basically saying I'm never allowed to be concerned about anything ever, and I'm not okay with that. Trust is a two-way street, and someone dismissing any lack of trust with (effectively) "you should be trusting me and you aren't, so you're the problem" is not acceptable--ever.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Declaring you have absolute authority. Already covered why I have a problem with that.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Being capricious with consequences or results or processes. Some things have no rules, or go beyond what the rules talk about. This isn't so much "Rule 0", just that designers aren't omniscient. I have to believe that I can learn how to play better. Fudging is a good example here. Fudging ruins my ability to learn how to play--because the consequences aren't determined by my actions, they're determined by whether you like (or at least don't dislike) the consequences of my actions.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Concealing dodgy stuff, but especially railroading or mistakes. Both things tell me that I can't be sure you will be honest to me as a person (note: NPCs tell lies all the time, that's not you the DM being dishonest to me the player, that's B'Beg the  Court Vizier lying to Joe McFighter or whatever.) I can't be sure that what you claim is the case really is.</li> </ol>Things that earn trust and enthusiasm:<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Genuinely listening to concerns and addressing them. If there's a trust issue, for example the aforementioned "robbed in the night and PCs couldn't prevent it" thing, explaining as much as you can without giving important things away, and offering to take responsibility and make amends if things don't work out. This shows accountability.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Always being respectful, especially if you feel you haven't been respected. It's easy to be respectful to people who are already respectful to you. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them." (Luke 6:32, NIV) This shows respect.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Soliciting feedback, especially on things you weren't sure were successful, and striving to implement that feedback going forward. This shows that whether or not the players are having a good time matters.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Giving space for others' contributions to shine. Frex, if there's a wizard in the party who graduated from a Wizard school, asking the Wizard what the name of that school is, roughly where it would be located (helping them pick a spot if they aren't sure of the geography and demographics), its reputation, maybe some professors there, etc. This shows that the players' input really does matter in a small but concrete way--that the world is "ours" in at least some way.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">During the pitch and/or Session Zero phases, articulating why you want to include X, Y, and Z and exclude A, B, and C. Explaining why the presence or absence of things will make a better experience. I very very much understand that DM enthusiasm is vital, but you need to show me that spark yourself. Just "I'm enthusiastic about it" is...not really selling me on the game. This shows that it's not the Jane Doe DM Show, but rather that we're all in this together.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If something goes wrong and you realize it's gone wrong, making amends. The best way to do so is diegetically, of course, but diegetic fixes aren't always available. Mistakes happen; admitting to them and fixing them is a good thing.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Being open to alternative approaches--in both directions. That is, both being open to having your own ideas re-interpreted in a way that the player might like better (even if not that much has actually changed), and being open to proposing re-interpretations of player ideas that you like better (again, even if not that much changes.) Former: you can't be a dragonborn, but you can be a human infected with a degenerative disease that is transforming you into a dragonoid-person (start off with human mechanics, change over time). Latter: Only Clerics exist in this world, but my Cleric can be the person who gets the ball rolling on founding the very first Paladin order. This shows that we are peers in the discussion, rather than one person controlling everything and one person meekly submitting.</li> </ol></blockquote>

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