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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Old Drew Id" data-source="post: 3176428" data-attributes="member: 12175">Heap's post is most likely what I would do, but I figured I would also mention what you might want to do for your wife's sake:Just talk to the DM. You might be tempted ahead of time to make a list of every grievance you have, but if he's like most people, that will just make him feel overwhelmed and defensive. Instead, pick the one thing that bugs you most, and talk to him about that before the next session. How do you talk to him about it? Well, most people act in a manner that they can rationalize to themselves, and they believe that they are good, helpful, and kind people. Play off of that. Even when people act in a manner that seems rude or selfish or oblivious, they probably don't see it that way themselves. In their world-view, they are acting rationally and usually in everyone's best interest. I mention this because your DM is probably not intentionally trying to run a bad game. He wants you to have fun, and he honestly believes, based on his world-view, that you are having fun with this. So, you have three options: 1) Submit to his plans and try to have fun within that worldview while also thumbing your nose at it. This is Heap's suggestion, and it definitely works and really can be fun, if you can alter your own preconceptions about what your character should be and just have fun doing that. In fact, if you do get your PC killed off, come back as the archer's annoying kid brother, or his love interest, or his dear old mother or evil twin. Latch on to that DMPC archer like the sidekick that your DM wants you to be. Like I said, normally this is what I would do, but if this is your wife's first RPG experience, and you want it to be a good one, you probably don't want her to think that every campaign and every DM is like this. 2) Challenge his worldview. Getting the other players to help gang up on him is part of this strategy. Directly state all of your problems at the same time and ask him to change the game to suit you. You'll get a *lot* of resistance on this, because people get defensive when challenged, and often their behavior gets even more irrational, not less. He'll probably get his feelings hurt and you may crash the game. Basically, this is the conflict approach and I recommend against it, not only for your own sake, but again because if it crashes the campaign, then your wife will still have a bad experience of RPG's. 3) Broaden his worldview. This is the diplomatic approach. Don't hit him with 10 complaints all at once or get the other players involved. Focus on just the one most important issue that keeps you personally from having fun. Approach him away from the game and diplomatically bring up this one point in a way that keeps him on your side the whole time. Start out by describing your goal with the game (Everyone is here to have fun...). Confirm that this is his goal as well. (...and I'm definitely enjoying most of this campaign, because you've got a good story going...) State one situation where *HIS* goal is not being met. (...but one area where I'm not really getting the most enjoyment is when it comes to being able to decide on what actions will be effective with my character...) Take some of the blame yourself, and focus on this as a solutions-centered conversation, not a blame session. (...because, from my playing style and based on what I find fun in a game, I need to know more about the rules of the campaign so I can plan out what will and will not work ahead of time. I feel sometimes like something I expect to work based on the rules, does not work under the house rules; and some things that I do not expect to work end up working in ways that I'm not familiar with...) Offer a specific situation or two to make this concrete in his mind, using "we" instead of "you". (...Like the time that I tried to pull out a table to serve as a shield, I thought we were going for cinematic actions, but instead we went with a dice roll. And then when I went scouting in town, we didn't go with the normal skill check, but instead went with a bunch of different dice rolls that I was not expecting...) Restate the problem with a reminder that you want to work towards a solution, not a punishment (...It's not all the time, and most of the time I'm having a lot of fun, but in those types of rules situations, I get frustrated because it feels the game is unpredictable and I just want to get a better grasp of how things work and what will or will not work in the future...) Finally phrase it all as a request for help, because most people want to see themselves as helpful and accomodating. (...so can you help me with that?)If you get a positive response and the next session goes well, wait a week (or until after the next session) and then repeat the above process. Praise him for the things that he changed for you, and thank him for the "help". Then start in on your next issue, like the presence of the DMPC. Basically open his eyes a little at a time to things that are not fun for you, and ask him to help you have fun. By appealing to his better nature, you can keep a conflict from developing, and motivate him to change his campaign instead of digging in his heels. For the other issues:"...It seems like you want the campaign to be more cinematic, and I think we all want that, but it seems like we're always outnumbered or outclassed by the bad guys, so we never get a chance to be cinematic. So I'm just wondering, are there some encounters coming up in the future where we'll be fighting lower level guys, where we can actually do some things like swing from chandeliers? Because that would be cool...""...I really like the story that we're telling with the game, and I like that it's a deeper story that's not just a video game or something. In fact, that's what keeps me coming back every week. But I've kind of started to feel lately like [the DMPC archer] is really better at a lot of things than the other PC's are, and that's a little frustrating. Is that just temporary? Like while we're getting started in the story and he'll be gone by the time we're 6th level?..."</blockquote>

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