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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Wik" data-source="post: 5525914" data-attributes="member: 40177">Some clarifications, here.First, apparently Wik doesn't know the difference between "ethical" and "moral".  ha ha, whoops!Second...I respect the opinion here.  And we have discussed doing this.  However.... while I do like the idea of there being more, I will take her as a friend.  Also, to be annoyingly vague, we both get a lot out of the friendship that neither of us want to risk losing.  Basically, I have never had a friendship like this.  My level of anxiety has dropped a bajillion points since Leela's been around.  Yeah.  She is pretty confused by the whole situation.  Honestly, my ideal scenario would be to have her visit her Fiance (or have him visit - though he really doesn't like me much, even though he's never met me, and the feeling is quite mutual), and work out her feelings either way.  However, she cannot afford to go south again anytime soon (she's saving up to move permanently, all for this guy), and he apparently can't be bothered to come up here (he's telling her it takes three months, at least, for him to get his passport renewed.  Yet... he got a new one less than two years ago to see her the first time... and I know it takes a helluva lot less time to get one up here, so....).  0I may have made a mistake in how I explained that, ha ha.  She is getting the visa so she can not be long distance.  The thing is, she can't stay in the US for more than a few weeks at a time, without getting a visa, so she can't pursue a real relationship with the guy.  So, she's engaged so that she can get the visa, so she can be live with him.  If he wasn't around, there'd be no Visa, and she'd still be here.  This isn't a russian bride scenario.  Anyways, thanks for your opinions on this, and I appreciate the insights.  This is why I was posting the thread.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />  But I think I'm stuck riding this "Leela" wave until I crash into the shore, one way or another.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":P" title="Stick out tongue    :P"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":P" /> You say that like it's a bad thing.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />  Well, there are plenty of benefits, but the benefits that you're talking about?  No.  There have been opportunities, but they never happened because we both know that'd be a very bad idea.  And I really doubt either of us will slip - there have been situations where it would have been pretty easy for it to happen, but we didn't do it.  We're both pretty good people, after all.  But she's not in a relationship just to get into the country.  She's engaged so that she can get a visa into the united states (from Canada) so she can spend more than a few weeks in one stretch with a guy.  She wants to give this relationship one more try, to see if it works.  Basically, give it "the ol' college try" before calling it quits for good.  As for where I see myself in 25 years?  I have no bloody clue.  I can tell you where I'd like to be in 25 years, no problem, but where I actually see myself?  No clue.</blockquote>

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