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Story Hour
A Song for Sharn – first attempt at Story Hour
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<blockquote data-quote="TDRandall" data-source="post: 3700247" data-attributes="member: 4808"><p>Ah, veeeerrrrryyy nice!</p><p></p><p>The text is thick, meaty even. Made the bulk of it feel very noir-ish to me. Other stories are too breezy and end up feeling more like fluff because of it. Your prose makes it seem more serious by default - and the copious, tight, descriptive details in there! I have to admit it is going to scare off some; the same type that would avoid the classics for something "easier". Their loss.</p><p></p><p>You might want to break things up into shorter pieces in the future, though. You could easily have put each section which you had already separated with the three lines as its own post. The last two sections could have been split into 2 or 3 posts on their own, though. Would help to offset the effort required to wrap the head around everything if the brain needs a rest by allowing us to simply remember which post number we're on.</p><p></p><p>Several other benefits too. You could post one every day (or every 2 or 3 days) and keep us greedy readers mollifed while still giving you time to craft the next installment(s). It would keep the footnotes in each post to a minimum. I definitely like those, btw, but the distance from their actual use made it hard to scroll back up and find where I was reading again.</p><p></p><p>All of the folks show promise, although I have to admit Karsen currently has me the most intrigued. Is he outright evil? For that matter, are you planning on perhaps releasing a parallel who's who thread? Maybe he's not even a PC, but rather a foil or a future recurring upcoming nemesis? Are all these people PCs or are some NPCs? I'm hoping for an accompanying who's who thread to give us stats and fuller detail, picture even maybe?</p><p></p><p>Keep up the good work!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TDRandall, post: 3700247, member: 4808"] Ah, veeeerrrrryyy nice! The text is thick, meaty even. Made the bulk of it feel very noir-ish to me. Other stories are too breezy and end up feeling more like fluff because of it. Your prose makes it seem more serious by default - and the copious, tight, descriptive details in there! I have to admit it is going to scare off some; the same type that would avoid the classics for something "easier". Their loss. You might want to break things up into shorter pieces in the future, though. You could easily have put each section which you had already separated with the three lines as its own post. The last two sections could have been split into 2 or 3 posts on their own, though. Would help to offset the effort required to wrap the head around everything if the brain needs a rest by allowing us to simply remember which post number we're on. Several other benefits too. You could post one every day (or every 2 or 3 days) and keep us greedy readers mollifed while still giving you time to craft the next installment(s). It would keep the footnotes in each post to a minimum. I definitely like those, btw, but the distance from their actual use made it hard to scroll back up and find where I was reading again. All of the folks show promise, although I have to admit Karsen currently has me the most intrigued. Is he outright evil? For that matter, are you planning on perhaps releasing a parallel who's who thread? Maybe he's not even a PC, but rather a foil or a future recurring upcoming nemesis? Are all these people PCs or are some NPCs? I'm hoping for an accompanying who's who thread to give us stats and fuller detail, picture even maybe? Keep up the good work! [/QUOTE]
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A Song for Sharn – first attempt at Story Hour
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