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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Joshua Randall" data-source="post: 9579772" data-attributes="member: 7737">Commentary:I actually do really like this plot dump, which does a great job of unloading a bunch of Capitalized Nouns that hint at a much more deep, rich, and expansive world than what we experienced in the previous book. There are paladins guarding monsters in swamps! Demons being summoned! Holy orders that may be corrupted! It's exactly the kind of portentious nonsense that I unironically enjoy in my fantasy fiction and D&D play.However. There are so many, many problems here.Unfortunately Haslum "vanished mysteriously nearly a year ago"...Team Good Guys’ slow motion work continues. Nearly a year ago this Haslum guy vanished, possibly after casting a 9th level spell, but Thayne is just getting around to sharing this key intelligence now.…and according to Thayne’s "sources" inside the academy…Who are these mysterious "sources" that everyone has everywhere? This feels like lazy writing to cover for the lack of any legitimate reason that someone would either know or now know something. If they know it when they shouldn't, it's because of "sources". If they don't know it when they should, it's because of, I dunno, probably what we call 'magic' in Thayne's immortal words.Haslum used a Gate spell to summon a demon.Ohhhhhkay. Gate is a 9th level spell. It is up there with Wish on the list of game-breakingly powerful spells in AD&D. So the gamebook would have us believe that (1) the College Arcane has scrolls of 9th level spells just lying around and (2) the supposedly super-cautious Haslum decided that the best approach to whatever situation he found himself in was to Gate in a DEMON?!Why would he do that? When you cast Gate, you get to specify to which plane you connect and the "specific being of great power" whose attention you attract. You cannot accidentally summon a demon when you mean to summon a deva or planetar or whatever the super-powerful good aligned creatures were in AD&D which are all mixed up in my mind with later editions but anyway it doesn't matter, they clearly weren't DEMONS.So for Haslum to use a Gate scroll to summon a demon means either that Haslum is super, super evil and did this on purpose; or that Haslum somehow got mind-controlled or tricked into doing it.Thayne wants to know if we remember a "slight, very dark student. Beldon’s senior novice." // "Arno!" we shout.Recall that per The Story So Far, Carr took the learn-magic-with-Thayne path canonically. That means he never had any of the interactions with Arno that would cause them to butt heads and that would illustrate Arno’s sadism and malice. But that’s OK, because on this canonical path, during a brief stay at the college we somehow became great rivals with Arno anyway.Also, dear readers, you now know one reason I chose the College Arcane path as OUR canonical path in book 1: so that I could show you the parts of that book that illustrate that Arno is a creepy psycho-killer-in-training. Otherwise Arno's introduction here in book 2 lands with all the power of a limp noodle.Before he answers, Thayne drains his tankard and signals for more mead.Second time the mead has been mentioned. Eh, I'm sure it's nothing.Those evil creatures now control all of Seagate's ports, including Freeton.That means the eeeeevil creature should also control the College Arcane, which is located in Freeton. Although we'll probably find out that the hordes of gnolls and orcs were unable to get past the Yellow Musk Creeper fence because they didn't have enough pole-vaultin' poles.Seagate Island's strategic position in the strait known as Pirate's Alley "could" allow [...]Thayne "believes" that Arno has found a source of eeeeevil magical power [...]Argh, this kind of writing drives me insane. Don't be so wishy-washy with your "could" and your "believes". It's your plot! Anything you want to be true, is true. Don't use these weasel words that reflect uncertainty and doubt in a story that is painted in the bright colors of good vs. evil. We're not here to contemplate the hazy uncertain realities of the geopolitical situation based on possibly faulty intelligence. It's not that kind of story, at all.Make your story big and bold and definitive!<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Whomever controls Seagate Island absolutely controls trade into Saven -- that makes this a way bigger threat than something that maybe might sort of be a problem.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Arno has definitely positively found a source of eeeeevil magic power -- that makes him way scarier than someone who maybe might sort of have done that.</li> </ul>And "even now" Arno is at the cathedral in Saven[...]"the evil that Arno has summoned" to SeagateWTF? Saven is the big important city on the mainland of Tikandia. Location of the Archcleric Oram's temple and former abode of Landor.Seagate is the lion-infested island across the water. Location of the College Arcane.They are not the same place!It's possible that Arno summoned something eeeeevil while on Seagate Island, then left and went to Saven to convince the archcleric to send holy warriors against Team Good Guys. This would imply a past-present-future, normal world of cause-and-effect, like the one in which you and I live.Except that we also get…Thayne wants us to use the Sceptre of Bhukod against Arno [on Seagate Island].Perth wants us to go to Saven to confront Arno there.Aaaaargh! These cannot both be true at the same time. Arno cannot be in two places at once. (I know, I know: he's a ~~wizard~~ magic-user, so maybe he can. As cool as that would be, that's not the case here.)The gamebook sets this up as some terrible dilemma we face about where to send ourselves. But it's completely insane because nothing about this choice makes any sense at all.I almost wonder if the author got his S-named locations, Seagate and Saven, mixed up in his own mind. He might've thought he was plotting out how Arno did a thing in S-location and also did a thing in S-location, not realizing those are two separate locations!Finally,Thayne says that is the reason he's come to get us, because "the evil that Arno has summoned" to Seagate is stronger than Archcleric Oram's gods.So first Haslum summons a demon and then Arno also summons some unspecified evil. That's a lot of summoning, and again it's bad writing. The plot can use any contrivances it wants. Don't use the same one back to back.</blockquote>

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