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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jasper" data-source="post: 21291" data-attributes="member: 277">DUDES AMBER CHICK IS DEAD!Where was I dudes? Oh Ember the unconscious is dead. Floppy and his gang had just finished smoking the peace pipe with the bacon smelling Lt Shelia. The pimply paladin was tripping out that his sword was now glowing since the banjo bard lay out the magic weapon spell. He tried to turn it off but the sword kept glowing! Cool pretty colors! Dig it man.Suddenly dudes this eavesdropper drops in. This gnome cleric of Pelor had been spying on the party and the bacon man Shelia. As soon as the pig leaves, the glad gnome starts trying to horn in on the party. Floppy and the others agree. Just as Floppy about to down a pint of brew. Guess what happen?Dudes a dragon flew in!I announce the fact rather matter of fact. Floppy sprays the Paladin and the cute cleric. Thock the half orc jumps up so fast that he knocks himself out on the ceiling. Elf babe and Tickle beer disappear and start trying to hide in each other shadows. Then the dragon flew out of my detection range. Tickle beery tries to say the wet spot on her pants was because she slipped and felled into some beer. Lame! Lame oh! Man what an L seven answer!Once they dragged the half orc up to his bed most of the party decides to check out the fair.  The paladin and cute cleric stays behind with the half orc. We start trucking down south spur street. Did no one else notice this was not Mr. Roger's neighborhood? No. Well dudettes, Floppy stopped at a cotton candy booth and was scoping the stage play across the street. It was a far out play man. I mean more far out that Doors and Monkey's team up in the movie "Head". Elf babe is uptight and starts trash talking the actors. They cool with it and ignore her. She starts more trash talk. You know I was downwind of her and could have swore I smelled bacon.Any way, in the middle of the act a legion of white-bellied accountants crash the scene and start to cut the scene with their axes. I heard of cost cutting but this is ridiculous! These guys are about six feet tall. They have not seen the sun in years. Their skin is a grayish white from smoking and hiding in the fluorescent-lighted offices. Their eyes are closed so they could not see the beauty of the play. About eight of crash the scene, two hit the stage and the others try to make an adventurer sandwich with Floppy as the center meat. The party starts! Hobbits and dogs howl, Elf babe and the torchbearer charge left. And the actors split. Well the pigs crash the party at the end just before the final cut delivered by Floppy. The head pig um Lt Shelia has put the word out that we are cool. So the pigs get to clean up the mess and send us our merry way.We go visit the grandma dwarf smith Shoe mama! She is in tune with crowd and has heard about Floppy's big hero scenes. We get top prices from Lurch's pals armour and weapons. In fact, she cuts a deal and scores on some top quality magic weapons. No brownies thou. Bummer!Later after we start to crash at the Happy Hobbit, the town's people throw us a party at the Crusty Crab. Lots and lots of munchies dudettes. Floppy is putting the moves on one stoned waitress.  I thought I saw Tickle berry and Elf babe lift some pouches but could not be to sure. Elf babe gets uptight when one of the merchants pinches her on the cheek and blows the party with the torchbearer. About midnight, the party shuts down and Floppy and gang head for the Happy Hobbit.Suddenly from out the dark alley an deep throated voice yells, "hey Heroes"Floppy replies "yes you zero!"Then Floppy chills out. Way out! An icicle hangs off his nose, and more icicles are forming are his ears. An ogre turns around and farts in our general direction and all but Floppy gives chase. Well the party starts. The halfling and gnome cut loose their dog pack after the ogre. Tickle beer start climbing the walls. And the party starts.When it ended, the ogre was down, the dogs had chewed two rogues up, and two more of the accountants had their ledgers closed. And sorcerer sung spells no more. We also found two more rogues deep in the alleyways which Ember chick killed. It appears she got turn around in the darkness and ran forward into them. And on her way back to the group the accountants cash her chips and closed book on her. Well the party winded her in a couple of cloaks and looted the dead. They scored lots of potions, some nice crossbows, a few rings, and some pipes. Dudes you know what they then did?In the morning they threw Ember into a coffin. Then they left the bard and dogs behind to discover what the ring was. The big cheese eater himself the Mayor was going to speak at eight in the morning. What a god awful early time to speak in the morning. Dudes. Guess what?The head pig is a Republican and is lay down the LAW! He orders the fair shut down. The gates closed and lock. And is going on a man headhunt against EVIL! And those who just enjoy a drag or two off of the good stuff. And what was it he said. Oh "Those transient elements which are well known to cause disruption to the peaceful and lawful order of the town." Pigs speak for adventurers.Dudettes! Guess what? Something major uncool. This Ralph Nader hater, big band lover, has called up Lurch to be the head pig. Floppy and his buds slide out the back of the crowd and Dee Dee back to the inn. Well it about four o'clock and the bard is still strumming on the old lute. I am going looking for some brownies. And some incense, Ember chick is getting ripe!</blockquote>

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